(no subject)
I completely fell of the posting wagon for a while, and then tentatively got into posting stuff on tumblr, because that's where I was hanging out anyway (because tumblr's easy and requires no brain. All you have to do is hit reblog.) I'm going to try to at least get back to crossposting the more substantial stuff, though, because goddammit I miss talking to people.
- The one where Bucky’s always been a dom and a sadist and deeply in denial about it. Of course deep down he’s always known that he’s a fucked up sociopath on the inside - there’s something deeply wrong with him, obviously, getting off to thoughts of hurting the people he loves. But he was always a tender, considerate lover in real life, he managed to keep that part of himself confined to secret shameful fantasies, so he could tell himself it didn’t matter.
But now he can’t fool himself anymore. Hydra must have found the twisted rotten thing that was always inside him and only needed to be brought to the surface. They never could have turned him into the Winter Soldier if he wasn’t already a monster on the inside.
…and then, you know, fifty thousand words of Bucky coming to terms with his sexuality and tentatively getting into a mostly-safe, occasionally-sane, always-consensual BDSM relationship with Steve.
- The one where Bucky’s always been a sadist and him and Steve had happy kinky sex, but after being the Winter Soldier he doesn’t feel okay about hurting Steve anymore, and Steve misses it badly but doesn’t want to ask.
- The one where Bucky’s always been a sub but in deep denial about it, and after Hydra, he fights those urges more angrily than ever before. He’s not ever going to be someone’s mindless obedient dog again, no matter how much he wants to kneel down by Steve’s side and let him take over all the hard decisions for a while.
- The one where Bucky’s always been a submissive, and he and Steve used to have a happy kinky relationship, but after Hydra Steve feels sick about bossing Bucky around/hurting him the way he used to, and Bucky catches on to how he feels about it and starts pretending he doesn’t want it, even though he desperately wants an hour or two of that safe, mindless, taken-care-of feeling that subbing for Steve used to give him.
- The one where Steve’s always been a dom, and Bucky kind of knew but never did anything about it because he was in denial about his own sexuality. When he starts regaining his memories after Hydra, he remembers that about Steve, and it both intrigues and horrifies him. He’s got no context for the idea of a healthy, consensual kinky relationship, and so on the one hand when he tries to imagine what Steve would want to do to him, it always turns into this horrible Hydra Trash Party kind of fantasy stuff, but on the other hand the thought turns him on as much as it terrifies him.
Basically, ALL the stories about how the Winter Soldier thing and their 1930s upbringing would make a SSC BDSM relationship horribly complicated.
- The one where Bucky’s always been a dom and a sadist and deeply in denial about it. Of course deep down he’s always known that he’s a fucked up sociopath on the inside - there’s something deeply wrong with him, obviously, getting off to thoughts of hurting the people he loves. But he was always a tender, considerate lover in real life, he managed to keep that part of himself confined to secret shameful fantasies, so he could tell himself it didn’t matter.
But now he can’t fool himself anymore. Hydra must have found the twisted rotten thing that was always inside him and only needed to be brought to the surface. They never could have turned him into the Winter Soldier if he wasn’t already a monster on the inside.
…and then, you know, fifty thousand words of Bucky coming to terms with his sexuality and tentatively getting into a mostly-safe, occasionally-sane, always-consensual BDSM relationship with Steve.
- The one where Bucky’s always been a sadist and him and Steve had happy kinky sex, but after being the Winter Soldier he doesn’t feel okay about hurting Steve anymore, and Steve misses it badly but doesn’t want to ask.
- The one where Bucky’s always been a sub but in deep denial about it, and after Hydra, he fights those urges more angrily than ever before. He’s not ever going to be someone’s mindless obedient dog again, no matter how much he wants to kneel down by Steve’s side and let him take over all the hard decisions for a while.
- The one where Bucky’s always been a submissive, and he and Steve used to have a happy kinky relationship, but after Hydra Steve feels sick about bossing Bucky around/hurting him the way he used to, and Bucky catches on to how he feels about it and starts pretending he doesn’t want it, even though he desperately wants an hour or two of that safe, mindless, taken-care-of feeling that subbing for Steve used to give him.
- The one where Steve’s always been a dom, and Bucky kind of knew but never did anything about it because he was in denial about his own sexuality. When he starts regaining his memories after Hydra, he remembers that about Steve, and it both intrigues and horrifies him. He’s got no context for the idea of a healthy, consensual kinky relationship, and so on the one hand when he tries to imagine what Steve would want to do to him, it always turns into this horrible Hydra Trash Party kind of fantasy stuff, but on the other hand the thought turns him on as much as it terrifies him.
Basically, ALL the stories about how the Winter Soldier thing and their 1930s upbringing would make a SSC BDSM relationship horribly complicated.