Post of I suck.
Hi, LJ! It's been a while. There are a lot of extremely great things coming up in my life. I'm four weeks away from finishing the theoretical part of med school (:DDDDD), I'm planning to be finished with the data-collecting part of my thesis by March 1st or earlier (:D?), and my boyfriend and me are going to Columbia in March. (:DDDDDDDDDDDDDDDDD)
Unfortunately, that means I currently have a million extremely important things to organize and a bunch of finals to study for, and if there's two things I'm incredibly bad at, it's organizing and studying. I've basically been living with a constant low-grade anxiety attack for a month now. It's easing up a little now, thank God, but for a while there, I was just constantly miserable, scared, and lying awake for hours every night.
I just really hate being a grown-up sometimes. I'm honestly terrified I'm going to end up forgetting something and, for example, standing in Leticia with no yellow fever vaccination certificate, or having to wait another half year to start my surgical rotation because I have no placement - and yet, I still haven't managed to stop procrastinating and call the fucking doctor or the teaching hospital, and the more worried I get, the less I can manage to get anything done. Oh God. /o\
Also, I checked my Christmas cards checklist some time after New Year's Eve, and noticed that I've managed to completely screw up and forgot to send cards to two people. And instead of doing the sensible thing and sending them right away with an apology, I got all overcome by social anxiety and started being pretty much unable to even look at my flist anymore, never mind face writing those cards, because now there are two more people out there who know how hard I suck. D: And, as if that wasn't bad enough, I also haven't managed to write thank yous for most of the cards I was sent, even though I've put all of them up on my bookcase, and smile every time I look at them.
So, uh, thank you so much, everyone, you really brightened my Christmas. ♥ And I'm so sorry, those two people, I will send your cards out first thing tomorrow morning. /o\
Unfortunately, that means I currently have a million extremely important things to organize and a bunch of finals to study for, and if there's two things I'm incredibly bad at, it's organizing and studying. I've basically been living with a constant low-grade anxiety attack for a month now. It's easing up a little now, thank God, but for a while there, I was just constantly miserable, scared, and lying awake for hours every night.
I just really hate being a grown-up sometimes. I'm honestly terrified I'm going to end up forgetting something and, for example, standing in Leticia with no yellow fever vaccination certificate, or having to wait another half year to start my surgical rotation because I have no placement - and yet, I still haven't managed to stop procrastinating and call the fucking doctor or the teaching hospital, and the more worried I get, the less I can manage to get anything done. Oh God. /o\
Also, I checked my Christmas cards checklist some time after New Year's Eve, and noticed that I've managed to completely screw up and forgot to send cards to two people. And instead of doing the sensible thing and sending them right away with an apology, I got all overcome by social anxiety and started being pretty much unable to even look at my flist anymore, never mind face writing those cards, because now there are two more people out there who know how hard I suck. D: And, as if that wasn't bad enough, I also haven't managed to write thank yous for most of the cards I was sent, even though I've put all of them up on my bookcase, and smile every time I look at them.
So, uh, thank you so much, everyone, you really brightened my Christmas. ♥ And I'm so sorry, those two people, I will send your cards out first thing tomorrow morning. /o\