moving over the face of the water
and my wings shall carry me into the sky...through the mist of the clouds to the light that shines over my head, illuminating my soul and cleansing my dreams... I have a vision, a hope, of somethings of such beauty and such reverance, I pray that my hands may fullfill my mind, and create the very thing I hope for. time is always an issue, wanting to see it done with speed and not perfection causes such problems to me. This world is so exuberant, and to be at peace and bliss in the state of knowing this is to achieve a sense of a wonderous life.
I feel alone here alot, and rightfully so I am. my transgressions seem to pleg me daily, and often times I only add to my problems rather then fixing them. the mind is in itself its own condendor, counteracting and limiting itself, finding some similar way of existance, some level of tranquility and normality. I feel like everyday I know myself less and less, and one day I will look in the mirror and enter into another dimension, looking at someone I dont even know any more, and what I will say will be so estranged I will not even recognize it as words.
Spring has but blossomed out of winters cold hands without warning, the flower that stole the show. I dont regret not having winter, or that I miss it, well, I do actually, but it just doesnt seem like spring. Its amazing how this year feels like no other ever.... like I am actually living and all past memories are but a dream, an illusion into some unforseen dream that is my past... the story of my life blown away into the wind, takin into the sky, back to where it began. Time IS an illusion, days seem to fly by and minutes creep with such patiences its almost too tedious to notice. School is becoming annoying, it feels like I am lost and not finding anything. Class continues, the weeks go by, the lessons the same, and I do find some joy in completing a problem or knowing how to tackel a new physics or math concept, I cant deny that, but it feels so minimal, like I have to put in so much for some answers and so little for others. Its not enough anymore to get by and memorize a few formulas for a test, I feel like if I am going to do the problems I want to know them in and out, backwards and forwards, really understand the topic and not have any fears of what they could test me on, because it would be so familiar as talking about what I ate for breakfast.
I dont believe in God, but I do believe in some idea like a human soul...and the appreciation for life and all that we are given. If not in a religious way then some other, but I feel that so many people are so tied to their daily routins and they worry so much about their lives and get so caught up in the mineute things... I think also that this is me. I once said that all the things I have said of others was really only being said of myself, a reflection through these eyes off of others of what I am, and its true.
am I happy? am I sad? emotions are so hard to put into single words. Would I be better off somewhere else? I dont know....I dont worry about it though. I dont worry about alot of things, but at the same time, I struggle with my own thoughts often. I say one thing and do another, I am my own hypocrite, but I dont feel bad in saying that, just truth and acceptance.
I feel alone here alot, and rightfully so I am. my transgressions seem to pleg me daily, and often times I only add to my problems rather then fixing them. the mind is in itself its own condendor, counteracting and limiting itself, finding some similar way of existance, some level of tranquility and normality. I feel like everyday I know myself less and less, and one day I will look in the mirror and enter into another dimension, looking at someone I dont even know any more, and what I will say will be so estranged I will not even recognize it as words.
Spring has but blossomed out of winters cold hands without warning, the flower that stole the show. I dont regret not having winter, or that I miss it, well, I do actually, but it just doesnt seem like spring. Its amazing how this year feels like no other ever.... like I am actually living and all past memories are but a dream, an illusion into some unforseen dream that is my past... the story of my life blown away into the wind, takin into the sky, back to where it began. Time IS an illusion, days seem to fly by and minutes creep with such patiences its almost too tedious to notice. School is becoming annoying, it feels like I am lost and not finding anything. Class continues, the weeks go by, the lessons the same, and I do find some joy in completing a problem or knowing how to tackel a new physics or math concept, I cant deny that, but it feels so minimal, like I have to put in so much for some answers and so little for others. Its not enough anymore to get by and memorize a few formulas for a test, I feel like if I am going to do the problems I want to know them in and out, backwards and forwards, really understand the topic and not have any fears of what they could test me on, because it would be so familiar as talking about what I ate for breakfast.
I dont believe in God, but I do believe in some idea like a human soul...and the appreciation for life and all that we are given. If not in a religious way then some other, but I feel that so many people are so tied to their daily routins and they worry so much about their lives and get so caught up in the mineute things... I think also that this is me. I once said that all the things I have said of others was really only being said of myself, a reflection through these eyes off of others of what I am, and its true.
am I happy? am I sad? emotions are so hard to put into single words. Would I be better off somewhere else? I dont know....I dont worry about it though. I dont worry about alot of things, but at the same time, I struggle with my own thoughts often. I say one thing and do another, I am my own hypocrite, but I dont feel bad in saying that, just truth and acceptance.