Jun 29, 2004 00:29
It has been quite some time since I have made a post in my LJ.
I am thinking that it is time for me to say au revoir to my journal as it has become pointless. Sure there are things that I would like to share here, but does it matter?
Since becoming a mom, I have gone through so many changes in my life, and so many changes within myself. For a long time (2 years) I had been suffering from severe depression and all in all I felt like I was lost. Talking to people about it made me feel better at that moment, but when all was said and done conversations didn't change my life or who I was. For the first time, I finally realized that no person nor medication could make me feel any differently...that was up to me, and me alone. So after months of not complaining about how depressed I was, and working on actually liking myself--here I am feeling good. No more letting anyone step all over me, no more feeling inferior. I am a nice person and will always be compassionate but I am now proud to kindly say goodbye to those who piss me off.
I am finally doing things to better myself again. I find the gym to be therapeutic. I have lost 22 lbs., I spend more time outdoors enjoying nature (yeah yeah I live in Brooklyn-AND what?), I say fuck off to all negativity that comes my way.
Graduate school in the fall!!!!!! My honey supports me 100% and is thrilled to once again know the woman he fell in love with!
Most importantly I realize how fortunate I am. No I am not speaking of material things here--yeah I live quite well but whatever. Money means nothing without good heath and hapiness. And yes I certainly can say that because I had cervical cancer--that was frightening. I am so very grateful for all God (yeah I said god) has given me. I cannnot help but say that after having 2 beautiful amazing children. I was chosen for this life and it is only fair that I start having a positive outlook.