Answers at last
In the end she didn't leave the small town in the Appalachian Mountains. She had a job, a place to stay, and no reason to think life would be better anywhere else. Not so long as she was alone. Her boss asked about the older man who sounded like her, but Neela had no way to explain the difference between husband and mate and why she would leave a man she so obviously loved.
Every night she returned to her small hotel room and crawled into bed. She'd snuck into his room while the maids were cleaning and stolen the sheets he slept on. Curling into a ball with the sheets against her nose, she breathed in his scent. She knew what she'd done wrong, knew why he couldn't forgive her. All she could do was find a way to live with her failure.
For a while she thought if she saw a ghost soon, one that could tell her she had done at least part of it right, then she would be all right. No ghost came to assuage her guilt. The day her boss offered to take her to church, Neela accepted. The pain and loss was too strong to bear. She wanted the chance to tell God He was a cruel, thoughtless bastard.
There was no Mass at the Baptist Church, but she did pray. Sitting in the back pew, swearing to the heavens in Gaelic, she took the blame for running, but she told Him in no uncertain terms how badly He was using her. And her mate. If her ma ever heard the way she spoke to Him, she'd pass out, but Neela didn't care. She'd tried, done everything he seemed to be telling her was right, and still she was alone again.
Out of habit she stayed behind to help clean after the communal meal. She was leaning against the church wall wiping her hands on her jeans when the teenager came up to her. For a moment she thought the ground had lifted under her. Looking at the skinny boy, she wondered if that was how Jacob felt when he saw her the first time. She looked deep into the dark brown eyes and smiled weakly.
When he spoke, she almost fainted again. He'd noticed her more as the only other Catholic in the room, having seen her cross herself. Cognizant of the irony, she took him to sit in the small cemetery. It only took a few moments for him to begin weeping. He'd been sent to the town to be with relatives of villagers who were not like them. No Mass, no running free, and no one who could understand his loss left him ready to kill himself. Only the sin of it kept him going.
It took a while for her to get through the language barrier and figure out why he'd been sent away. Over the course of a year, five teenagers had been found murdered in their wolf forms. Then they found two of the elders dead in their home. No one had any idea why it was happening or who would want to hurt their pack, but the weakest was being taken first. He and two others had been sent away, but he had no idea where they were.
He wasn't so much younger than her, but Neela held him while he cried for his parents and his friends. She petted his hair and assured him everything would be fine. She tried very hard not to feel like it was a lie. That night she took him to the small wooded area outside town and they ran. For the first time since she'd settled there, she ran.
Rather than feeling free, she wanted to sink into the earth and die. Every step hurt. The final straw was seeing a chipmunk squeak in fear and dash up a tree when she went by. She fell to her belly and howled her loss, scaring every small animal in miles and startling young Yevgeni.
She got him back to the family he was staying with and herself back to her hotel. Curling around his scent she sobbed until morning. Dawn came without her having found any other option but the one that made her shake. He might turn her away, but he couldn't turn away the lost boy. She would try. She had to.
It took two days to convince the elderly couple Yevgeni was staying with that Neela could be responsible for him. They were confused how the fair haired Irish girl could be somehow related to the dark teen from their country. In the end she told them a toned down version of her experience leaving home, assuring them she could protect him from anything that might come for him. The couple exchanged sad looks and agreed to let him go.
It took another two days to get everything they'd need packed into bags they could carry as easily in wolf form as in human. The first night on the road they slept in the woods. She watched the boy sleep and felt a complete fool. What was she thinking? She didn't have the skills to protect a scared and lonely child. He whined in his sleep and she gently caressed his hair until he settled. They couldn't get to the compound fast enough for her.
With a purpose in mind, travel was much faster than on the way down. She got them to the compound in a less than a week. Having told him every day about the pack and how welcoming they'd been to her, Yevgeni was pulling at the leash to get to the main building. Neela hung back, her head hanging low with shame, until Orla came up to her and hugged her so tightly she was sure she felt ribs crack.
Three hours later only Neela, Sean, Orla and Colm sat in the main hall. Yevgeni was running with the pups and other pack members were moving things around to make room for the boy. Orla hadn't left her side the whole time, not after seeing Neela's expression when she learned Jacob was gone.
All Neela's apologies were brushed off. There were too many questions to be answered to worry about that. In a soft voice Neela told the whole story from the shed to the morning she left Jacob sleeping in their cabin. The parts about the ghosts were repeated a few times until there was nothing more she could even invent to tell them.
She stayed that night in the bed she'd shared with Jacob, but she didn't sleep. There was no way that she could sleep when his smell was everywhere. Just before dawn she went to the clearing, running as though she were being chased. When she reached her watching rock she stood on it and howled, demanding they come to her and explain themselves. There was no explanation, no comfort that at least she'd found what she was meant to, no begging for her forgiveness for confusing her so badly she drove her mate away.
She slunk back to the compound to find Orla sitting on her cabin steps. Without changing, Neela rested her head on Orla's lap and whimpered. The older woman caressed her for a long time, saying nothing. Finally she lifted Neela's head and sighed softly.
"You know you have to go, girl. Go find him, do what needs to be done, then bring him home to us all." She smiled faintly. "Bring him home and give him lots of pups."
Orla and Yevgeni took her to the airport in Boston. She had her duffle, a forged passport, and an address. From Boston to New York to London to Shannon Airport. She thought if she'd had to go north from the airport she wouldn't have been able to do it. Heading south to Killarney only left her shaking rather than immobile.
She found a room in an inn, got settled in and called back to the compound to tell them she'd reached it safely. Orla didn't even ask if she'd tried to see him yet. She could hear the fear in Neela's voice.
"Get some rest, Neela, and see him in the morning." Orla laughed softly. "Late enough that he's had his coffee, hmm?"
They hung up a few minutes later and Neela curled in the bed with the pillow case she'd taken from their bed. She managed to sleep, dreaming of the last night she'd laid in his arms. Time enough in the morning to face him and his anger. She'd give herself one night of his love first.
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