i feel like this should start like, "dear diary"
after work today i hung out at trevor's house. we watched tosh.0 & wheel of fortune & jeopardy. and, of course, talked about video games. haha
it's just... there have been days where i didnt really feel like going to improv, but not like tonight where i just wished and wished i could have stayed there.
i won't lie. i'm scared of when it's going to end. it's never lasted that long between the two of us, although never for a really good reason... never a fight or anything, but it's just...
he makes me laugh and feel good and what i want is to fall in love and have something special, to be a part of a team. i feel like i have had that before, but eventually the team turned on each other... i felt like my last boyfriend and i were a team... and before that, i felt like i was part of a team and in a (mostly) good, fun relationship was with chris, but aside from the two of them, i'm not sure. a big part of that is that i had fun with them. we were friends who cared about each other and it grew. i never fell in love with my last boyfriend, but i'm sure i would have and i feel pretty confident that i did love chris, maybe not as passionately as i have some others, but i did and i still care about what happens to him very much because we were friends above all.
i don't know, i have my concerns which really only go as far as trying to figure out where he is coming from emotionally and where he is likely to go, but the fact is that i know right now that he likes me and that i like him and that i'm having a good time and as long as those two things are in play, then i don't know what really i have to worry about.
i was kissing him at the door and he said that he was sorry that i was running late, he just really liked kissing me. he asked me what kissing the beard was like (he was always mostly clean shaven in the past) and i said that it was kind of a take it or leave it thing, but as long as i was kissing him that i didnt care OH MY GOD I SAID SOME GAY SHIT CHECK THAT OUT
kissing really really tall boys is funny because there is only so long that you can stand on your tip toes and only so far that you can expect them to lean over before the super awesome bend-at-the-knees attempt comes into play, which is, let's face it, consistently hilarious.
it's like a time warp that i get to step through when things were easier and lighter and nothing hurt.
i've been working on this blog for over an hour, talking and starting and stopping and retyping and justifying bits. but i need to go to bed. and i'll see him saturday. and i can't wait.
thank you and good night /nod
it's just... there have been days where i didnt really feel like going to improv, but not like tonight where i just wished and wished i could have stayed there.
i won't lie. i'm scared of when it's going to end. it's never lasted that long between the two of us, although never for a really good reason... never a fight or anything, but it's just...
he makes me laugh and feel good and what i want is to fall in love and have something special, to be a part of a team. i feel like i have had that before, but eventually the team turned on each other... i felt like my last boyfriend and i were a team... and before that, i felt like i was part of a team and in a (mostly) good, fun relationship was with chris, but aside from the two of them, i'm not sure. a big part of that is that i had fun with them. we were friends who cared about each other and it grew. i never fell in love with my last boyfriend, but i'm sure i would have and i feel pretty confident that i did love chris, maybe not as passionately as i have some others, but i did and i still care about what happens to him very much because we were friends above all.
i don't know, i have my concerns which really only go as far as trying to figure out where he is coming from emotionally and where he is likely to go, but the fact is that i know right now that he likes me and that i like him and that i'm having a good time and as long as those two things are in play, then i don't know what really i have to worry about.
i was kissing him at the door and he said that he was sorry that i was running late, he just really liked kissing me. he asked me what kissing the beard was like (he was always mostly clean shaven in the past) and i said that it was kind of a take it or leave it thing, but as long as i was kissing him that i didnt care OH MY GOD I SAID SOME GAY SHIT CHECK THAT OUT
kissing really really tall boys is funny because there is only so long that you can stand on your tip toes and only so far that you can expect them to lean over before the super awesome bend-at-the-knees attempt comes into play, which is, let's face it, consistently hilarious.
it's like a time warp that i get to step through when things were easier and lighter and nothing hurt.
i've been working on this blog for over an hour, talking and starting and stopping and retyping and justifying bits. but i need to go to bed. and i'll see him saturday. and i can't wait.
thank you and good night /nod