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I have another sexual experience that I will be post in the near future in detail since it will be the last one for quite some time.
E decided that after our last sexual encounter which involved us bottomles, wasn't something we should continue...
Mainly because it wasn't wasn't fair to me since I was a virgin and he wasn't and I should be with someone that would want to make love to me not pound me good and hard...
And it wasn't fair to him because I would only go to an extent and I was teasing him.
I think in some way it was a wise descion. It was something I should have done months ago but didn't want to do that because i liked messing around.
He also mentioned how he has lots of baggage and money trouble that being in a serious relationship would be irresponsible because he wouldn't be able to support his family the way he wants to.
But wise descion or not I still feel rejected. very rejected.
He said "We're both looking for love and how are we going to find that if we are screwing around with each other" and "I'm looking for that special girl" and I told him I felt rejected because I thought I could be that special person for him. And then he pulled the "maybe you are the special girl who knows" crap because when someone saids that to you they are just trying to soften the blow.
I totally understood that we were friends with benefits but you know that little hope that i have inside thought maybe he would just decide to at least date me. ;/
The funny is that I knew it. All the other times I felt like shit when I thought maybe he's seeing some chick and I'm being the moron hanging around i knew this would happen. I knew that one day he would disappoint me.
I mean we are still frirends.. thats cool i guess.
I just start to feel depressed thinking at this rate I'm going to be 30 with no dating experience..
I mean baggage and in in depth...at 25 who doesn't have that! We all have some type of baggage, some more than others.
I guess I'm glad that this wasn't as bad as before...
E decided that after our last sexual encounter which involved us bottomles, wasn't something we should continue...
Mainly because it wasn't wasn't fair to me since I was a virgin and he wasn't and I should be with someone that would want to make love to me not pound me good and hard...
And it wasn't fair to him because I would only go to an extent and I was teasing him.
I think in some way it was a wise descion. It was something I should have done months ago but didn't want to do that because i liked messing around.
He also mentioned how he has lots of baggage and money trouble that being in a serious relationship would be irresponsible because he wouldn't be able to support his family the way he wants to.
But wise descion or not I still feel rejected. very rejected.
He said "We're both looking for love and how are we going to find that if we are screwing around with each other" and "I'm looking for that special girl" and I told him I felt rejected because I thought I could be that special person for him. And then he pulled the "maybe you are the special girl who knows" crap because when someone saids that to you they are just trying to soften the blow.
I totally understood that we were friends with benefits but you know that little hope that i have inside thought maybe he would just decide to at least date me. ;/
The funny is that I knew it. All the other times I felt like shit when I thought maybe he's seeing some chick and I'm being the moron hanging around i knew this would happen. I knew that one day he would disappoint me.
I mean we are still frirends.. thats cool i guess.
I just start to feel depressed thinking at this rate I'm going to be 30 with no dating experience..
I mean baggage and in in depth...at 25 who doesn't have that! We all have some type of baggage, some more than others.
I guess I'm glad that this wasn't as bad as before...