Don't compare me to that other affair!
I was just thinking how I have no fucking idea what I want out of life.
I can now say I do love one thing about NYC and that’s the weather lately. I wouldn’t mind diving into the ocean on a blazing hot 90 degree Florida summer day in blistering sun right now but… this overcast cool light coat weather is kind of nice. My sleep schedule is all fucked up here, in very small part its due to this London-like weather. A larger part has to do with their being no windows in my bedroom which completely warps my sense of time. I keep swearing I am going to start my day before 2 in the afternoon and I have yet to make it happen. I thought I should force myself back into a normal routine by going out after a regular 8-5 day job but then I quickly just said fuck it… for now. I go to bed about the time the sun comes up. It’s annoying and it’s not I think I only feel guilty because of the warped idea of what exactly “normality” is anyway.
I am feeling less depressed. Saturday was the peak. Which is strange because it started out amazing. Bondi and I went to Max Brennar’s and had a kick ass dinner and some bitchin’ desserts. Then John called and told me he could get us into Peaches at Webster Hall so we went and got VIP All Access passes. He always hooks me up the best. I am soso about Peaches or was now I am a huge fan. I LOVE HER. She has a new song called Billionaire that I dig. It’s raunchy and hip hop-y but I feel it. Afterward Deadmau5 dj-ed in the grand ballroom and the crowd was just fucking stupid and there was a Peaches after party at Santo’s Party House, in Soho a block up from Ben in Tribeca, go figure. Bondi wasn't old enough to get in so we just stayed for Deadmau5 until it got intolerable which was about 20 minutes. Then we went to Starbucks and it closed at 1 and he just decided to go home. So Ben text me in the meantime saying go to Santo’s I’m at bar on the UWS and I’ll be back home shortly and then you can come hang out. I proceeded to Santo's solo and it was gay bar. I was one of maybe 10 real girls there. I watched 3 different drag acts, She Dick, Faggetron and the Twat Twins. WTF. Then I get a text from Ben near 3 being like “soooo sleepy =(“ and I was pissed off. I was like Ok are you going to bed? Then he was like “How’s Santos?” I was like it fucking sucks, I m watching dudes making out all over the place, getting my toes stepped on, choking on cigarette smoke, are you going to bed? Then I get “Fuck Santos that place sucks.” I wanted to slap him into next week so I was like I am leaving Santos NOW. Are you just going to bed or what? I am heading back to Brooklyn. And he says “I’m really tired baby =(“ . I couldn’t tolerate the question avoidance again so I fucking bit into him while riding back to BK in a cab. He was like “are you mad at me??? You can come sleep over.” And I was like I am already in a cab to BK call me when you want to hang out, I’m not into chasing”. FUCKER. Stupid, stupid fucking young boys. Seriously what a waste to actually even get pissed at him. I have not talked to him since and I will not until he initiates conversation and probably as a matter of principal I will go out of my way to leave him hanging in which case our friendship may be completely over then and if so well so long baby, there’s a line behind you for me to work on, you already got too much time anyway. I love fucking him, really I do, it’s ridiculously fun, but the days of hanging in there for the bullshit to get to sweet stuff are OVER.
On that note… Zac is back. And he lives right across the park from me. Nice. Its going to happen, I’d be lying if I tried to say otherwise that being said I am taking it easy and not jumping on top of his invitation to hang out. He’s a little bit older, late 20s and he’s a band boy, he rakes in ass. I am confident that he will know what this and what this isn’t and how to play the game without the fronting. My type. Sorry its true.
My room mates BF is up from Philly. I feel like I need split for a while so they can do their thing, haha. I think I am going to go to the library and then the park so I can go flirt with all these guys and their dogs. I can’t lie, a man with a dog (a big dog, not fucking rodent ass Chihuahuas or terriers)is hot. I don’t really even like dogs but whatever. I miss my cats. My thoughts are jumping around…
Ok time to put on some pants and head out.
I can now say I do love one thing about NYC and that’s the weather lately. I wouldn’t mind diving into the ocean on a blazing hot 90 degree Florida summer day in blistering sun right now but… this overcast cool light coat weather is kind of nice. My sleep schedule is all fucked up here, in very small part its due to this London-like weather. A larger part has to do with their being no windows in my bedroom which completely warps my sense of time. I keep swearing I am going to start my day before 2 in the afternoon and I have yet to make it happen. I thought I should force myself back into a normal routine by going out after a regular 8-5 day job but then I quickly just said fuck it… for now. I go to bed about the time the sun comes up. It’s annoying and it’s not I think I only feel guilty because of the warped idea of what exactly “normality” is anyway.
I am feeling less depressed. Saturday was the peak. Which is strange because it started out amazing. Bondi and I went to Max Brennar’s and had a kick ass dinner and some bitchin’ desserts. Then John called and told me he could get us into Peaches at Webster Hall so we went and got VIP All Access passes. He always hooks me up the best. I am soso about Peaches or was now I am a huge fan. I LOVE HER. She has a new song called Billionaire that I dig. It’s raunchy and hip hop-y but I feel it. Afterward Deadmau5 dj-ed in the grand ballroom and the crowd was just fucking stupid and there was a Peaches after party at Santo’s Party House, in Soho a block up from Ben in Tribeca, go figure. Bondi wasn't old enough to get in so we just stayed for Deadmau5 until it got intolerable which was about 20 minutes. Then we went to Starbucks and it closed at 1 and he just decided to go home. So Ben text me in the meantime saying go to Santo’s I’m at bar on the UWS and I’ll be back home shortly and then you can come hang out. I proceeded to Santo's solo and it was gay bar. I was one of maybe 10 real girls there. I watched 3 different drag acts, She Dick, Faggetron and the Twat Twins. WTF. Then I get a text from Ben near 3 being like “soooo sleepy =(“ and I was pissed off. I was like Ok are you going to bed? Then he was like “How’s Santos?” I was like it fucking sucks, I m watching dudes making out all over the place, getting my toes stepped on, choking on cigarette smoke, are you going to bed? Then I get “Fuck Santos that place sucks.” I wanted to slap him into next week so I was like I am leaving Santos NOW. Are you just going to bed or what? I am heading back to Brooklyn. And he says “I’m really tired baby =(“ . I couldn’t tolerate the question avoidance again so I fucking bit into him while riding back to BK in a cab. He was like “are you mad at me??? You can come sleep over.” And I was like I am already in a cab to BK call me when you want to hang out, I’m not into chasing”. FUCKER. Stupid, stupid fucking young boys. Seriously what a waste to actually even get pissed at him. I have not talked to him since and I will not until he initiates conversation and probably as a matter of principal I will go out of my way to leave him hanging in which case our friendship may be completely over then and if so well so long baby, there’s a line behind you for me to work on, you already got too much time anyway. I love fucking him, really I do, it’s ridiculously fun, but the days of hanging in there for the bullshit to get to sweet stuff are OVER.
On that note… Zac is back. And he lives right across the park from me. Nice. Its going to happen, I’d be lying if I tried to say otherwise that being said I am taking it easy and not jumping on top of his invitation to hang out. He’s a little bit older, late 20s and he’s a band boy, he rakes in ass. I am confident that he will know what this and what this isn’t and how to play the game without the fronting. My type. Sorry its true.
My room mates BF is up from Philly. I feel like I need split for a while so they can do their thing, haha. I think I am going to go to the library and then the park so I can go flirt with all these guys and their dogs. I can’t lie, a man with a dog (a big dog, not fucking rodent ass Chihuahuas or terriers)is hot. I don’t really even like dogs but whatever. I miss my cats. My thoughts are jumping around…
Ok time to put on some pants and head out.