(no subject)
I had the longest weekend and I can’t say that was necessarily a good thing.
Friday night, Renee, my friend from work, and I went to the movies around 7. We saw Quantum of Solace and RockNRolla. Both bad ass movies. While I was insistent on having a Clive Owen or Robert Downey, Jr. for Christmas, I would definitely say a Daniel Craig would suit me as well now. I used to think Pierce Brosnan was such the shit. He was my 007 because growing up and seeing Bond movies in the theatre he was my bond. I never found him sexually appetizing but he did the job quite well or so I thought until Daniel Craig stepped in and now I’m like Pierce who? I mean Sean Connery will always be my favorite Bond but damn…Daniel Craig. When I grow up I want to be a bond girl.
After the movies and taking Renee home on Friday I went by Jaren’s house party where I was treated like I’d invited myself and crashed the party. I stayed for a whole whopping 10 minutes suffering through karaoke and then left. I guess he felt the need to shun me for something. Plus he and I’s people don’t mix. Maybe I am a bitch, maybe I am on my own little pedestal, maybe I’m antisocial, maybe stuck up, who knows. To me I am just me, plain old normal Ellice. And I am not everybody’s friend that’s for fucking sure. His crowd was there and they were emanating bad energy the second I cracked the door but I didn’t want to be impolite. When he finally made an appearance long enough for me to tell him I was just dropping by and that I was headed home he just stared at me unresponsive. Ok. Somebody had too much to drink. The next day he said that wasn’t the case and I didn’t care at that point I was over it.
I ran out of sleeping pills Friday and I had been doubling them so the when I called the prescription back in the pharmacy said no refills until 12/5? WTF? Doctor’s office closed at noon and it was 4. No chance at a refill until Monday. So Friday night I did not sleep.
Saturday night I went to Freebird to see two friend’s bands. My friend John’s drumming for a band called Amaru they played first and then my friend Kyle who sings for his band Architect Sound. Both decent acts. I went alone and ran into some familiars. Josh met me at the door. We talked a few and then went separate ways. I spotted Kyle from a distance and bunny hopped over for a quick hug. Then I found a good place to stand against the back wall where I could lean and Amaru took the stage. Chris came by after about 10 minutes, another DJ friend we yelled over the music at each other and I ended up going to the balcony and sitting with him for the remainder of the show. I watched Kyle sing, carefully. He has a hell of a voice. I never thought anything ill of him but I had never really found myself attracted to him either. I have notcied now though, he’s got the sex appeal. Maybe you could even say I’d tear him up. I’ll never tell anyone else that though. I don’t paw at anybody or fish, I’m not a chaser. I watched all those girls crammed ass up against the stage, glazed eyes fixed on him like he was the world.
When it was over I began to make my rounds and considered going up to TSI. Josh and Kyle insisted I chill out until they were finished packing then we went downtown to the pizza place next door to Ivy because it’s open until 4AM. Rob was there so I stood around talking to him while the guys unpacked the van. He’d quit Ivy that night. He’s going to go manage a strip club now. I love Rob. He’s a big mean looking fucker at 6’7” and probably over 250 maybe 300lbs. He’s a wall. No joke, you don’t fuck with Rob but he’s really a big teddy bear. If I ever make it big, don’t ask doing what, I have no talent, but if…if for whatever reason, I’d hire Rob as my personal body guard.
Kyle got a hefty speeding ticket on the way downtown and only avoided a DUI by the hair of the dog’s ass so he was a half hour or so behind everybody else. I was relieved to see those desperate pawing, whining fan girls didn’t follow him over. He was incredibly touchy with me. I won’t lie I was eating up, all the extra tight hugs and kisses on the neck and cheek. Yeah I liked it, maybe egged it on a little. I never kissed him back, I had a backless dress on that he was loving. Never underestimate the power of bare skin, a little surprise flesh on flesh will do it.
Jaren showed up around 4 with a friend of his, a girl. The whole place broke out into an awkward quieted frenzy. What’s going on, why’s he with another girl, who’s that? Kyle continued feeling me up and Josh, though drunk insisted he could tell it was bothering Jaren. Around 4 he finally came up to me and we went outside to talk for a minute. He needed a confirmation on what I had have been saying all along. I am not in this business of seriousness. Commitment puts a bad taste in my mouth and I’m still freshly bruised from the beating I cowed down and took over the last “serious” commitment. I am sick of feeling like I belong to somebody. I am sick of people needing ownership of me. I want my freedom and no one’s opinion or pain is going to sway me. Sorry, my heart’s iced over for now, everything lasts longer refrigerated anyway so fuck it.
Around 5 the pizza place finally ran everyone out and the drunken party poured into the street and Kyle had me wrapped up in his arms again. When I realized the only other girl that had followed along from Freebird, a tall leggy bleach blonde, Kyle’s girlfriend, unbeknownst to me until that very moment, was watching us with big sad doe brown eyes I felt like a monster. They are going through shit, he told me at work weeks ago things were screwed up. I felt bad when I saw her eyes though. No one introduced us and that look was the only way I knew who she was. I thought about all the girls hugging and feeling Kyle up at the show and she was there for it all. It would have made me feel sick to be in her shoes. Yes the single life is better. When they got ready to leave, in separate cars he hugged her and she told him she loved him, he did not return the sentiment, ouch. I felt bad for her. Felt bad that I’d put on a show with her man all night. I’ve walked in her shoes and I know how it goes… I’d probably still tear Kyle up though, what can I say?
I got home at 6 didn’t get to bed until 10:30AM it was Sunday at this point obviously. It was from that fucking Provigil, it’s like super blow, extended time release cocaine. No joke. Oh my god, no Provigil on Sunday.
Friday night, Renee, my friend from work, and I went to the movies around 7. We saw Quantum of Solace and RockNRolla. Both bad ass movies. While I was insistent on having a Clive Owen or Robert Downey, Jr. for Christmas, I would definitely say a Daniel Craig would suit me as well now. I used to think Pierce Brosnan was such the shit. He was my 007 because growing up and seeing Bond movies in the theatre he was my bond. I never found him sexually appetizing but he did the job quite well or so I thought until Daniel Craig stepped in and now I’m like Pierce who? I mean Sean Connery will always be my favorite Bond but damn…Daniel Craig. When I grow up I want to be a bond girl.
After the movies and taking Renee home on Friday I went by Jaren’s house party where I was treated like I’d invited myself and crashed the party. I stayed for a whole whopping 10 minutes suffering through karaoke and then left. I guess he felt the need to shun me for something. Plus he and I’s people don’t mix. Maybe I am a bitch, maybe I am on my own little pedestal, maybe I’m antisocial, maybe stuck up, who knows. To me I am just me, plain old normal Ellice. And I am not everybody’s friend that’s for fucking sure. His crowd was there and they were emanating bad energy the second I cracked the door but I didn’t want to be impolite. When he finally made an appearance long enough for me to tell him I was just dropping by and that I was headed home he just stared at me unresponsive. Ok. Somebody had too much to drink. The next day he said that wasn’t the case and I didn’t care at that point I was over it.
I ran out of sleeping pills Friday and I had been doubling them so the when I called the prescription back in the pharmacy said no refills until 12/5? WTF? Doctor’s office closed at noon and it was 4. No chance at a refill until Monday. So Friday night I did not sleep.
Saturday night I went to Freebird to see two friend’s bands. My friend John’s drumming for a band called Amaru they played first and then my friend Kyle who sings for his band Architect Sound. Both decent acts. I went alone and ran into some familiars. Josh met me at the door. We talked a few and then went separate ways. I spotted Kyle from a distance and bunny hopped over for a quick hug. Then I found a good place to stand against the back wall where I could lean and Amaru took the stage. Chris came by after about 10 minutes, another DJ friend we yelled over the music at each other and I ended up going to the balcony and sitting with him for the remainder of the show. I watched Kyle sing, carefully. He has a hell of a voice. I never thought anything ill of him but I had never really found myself attracted to him either. I have notcied now though, he’s got the sex appeal. Maybe you could even say I’d tear him up. I’ll never tell anyone else that though. I don’t paw at anybody or fish, I’m not a chaser. I watched all those girls crammed ass up against the stage, glazed eyes fixed on him like he was the world.
When it was over I began to make my rounds and considered going up to TSI. Josh and Kyle insisted I chill out until they were finished packing then we went downtown to the pizza place next door to Ivy because it’s open until 4AM. Rob was there so I stood around talking to him while the guys unpacked the van. He’d quit Ivy that night. He’s going to go manage a strip club now. I love Rob. He’s a big mean looking fucker at 6’7” and probably over 250 maybe 300lbs. He’s a wall. No joke, you don’t fuck with Rob but he’s really a big teddy bear. If I ever make it big, don’t ask doing what, I have no talent, but if…if for whatever reason, I’d hire Rob as my personal body guard.
Kyle got a hefty speeding ticket on the way downtown and only avoided a DUI by the hair of the dog’s ass so he was a half hour or so behind everybody else. I was relieved to see those desperate pawing, whining fan girls didn’t follow him over. He was incredibly touchy with me. I won’t lie I was eating up, all the extra tight hugs and kisses on the neck and cheek. Yeah I liked it, maybe egged it on a little. I never kissed him back, I had a backless dress on that he was loving. Never underestimate the power of bare skin, a little surprise flesh on flesh will do it.
Jaren showed up around 4 with a friend of his, a girl. The whole place broke out into an awkward quieted frenzy. What’s going on, why’s he with another girl, who’s that? Kyle continued feeling me up and Josh, though drunk insisted he could tell it was bothering Jaren. Around 4 he finally came up to me and we went outside to talk for a minute. He needed a confirmation on what I had have been saying all along. I am not in this business of seriousness. Commitment puts a bad taste in my mouth and I’m still freshly bruised from the beating I cowed down and took over the last “serious” commitment. I am sick of feeling like I belong to somebody. I am sick of people needing ownership of me. I want my freedom and no one’s opinion or pain is going to sway me. Sorry, my heart’s iced over for now, everything lasts longer refrigerated anyway so fuck it.
Around 5 the pizza place finally ran everyone out and the drunken party poured into the street and Kyle had me wrapped up in his arms again. When I realized the only other girl that had followed along from Freebird, a tall leggy bleach blonde, Kyle’s girlfriend, unbeknownst to me until that very moment, was watching us with big sad doe brown eyes I felt like a monster. They are going through shit, he told me at work weeks ago things were screwed up. I felt bad when I saw her eyes though. No one introduced us and that look was the only way I knew who she was. I thought about all the girls hugging and feeling Kyle up at the show and she was there for it all. It would have made me feel sick to be in her shoes. Yes the single life is better. When they got ready to leave, in separate cars he hugged her and she told him she loved him, he did not return the sentiment, ouch. I felt bad for her. Felt bad that I’d put on a show with her man all night. I’ve walked in her shoes and I know how it goes… I’d probably still tear Kyle up though, what can I say?
I got home at 6 didn’t get to bed until 10:30AM it was Sunday at this point obviously. It was from that fucking Provigil, it’s like super blow, extended time release cocaine. No joke. Oh my god, no Provigil on Sunday.