(no subject)
It's so windy outside here, its makes the cold miserable. Over the weekend Steven bought me a nice coat thats wind and water proof and big enough to go over my suit jackets at work. He's the man. Its got a nice belt around the waist all I need is a scarf to wrap around my hair and then tuck into my coat and with the sunglasses he got me too I would look like such an aloof snob, it would probably be hot though.
I watched House tonight, I get sucked into the TV sometimes, I'm not proud of it. All of this medical nonsense just tickles me though.
I'll have to go into work tomorrow anyway, I didn't really want to but it will be alright, I'll get to spend a few hours at the Taj Majal instead of the cemetery it will make the day pass faster. Then Thursday I am going to do Thanksgiving with my dads family in the morning and then with Steven's family later on and Friday my mom and I are going to start early and go Christmas shopping and birthday shopping for my dad, Steven's birthday is Monday but he's doesn't want anything from me except a 25lb lighter frame and more frequent application of common sense (I have my days) and I can't really buy that at the mall. I have to get a little more motivated and out of this depression slump, I can see myself, my shell I guess, I am on the outside several feet away and I can't seem to get back inside but it's getting better because it was so bad and so far away in the past that I wasn't sure what I was seeing was me but no one is going to believe that until I'm myself again, there is no progress to my judges, there is only failure, failure to achieve the goal, failure is failure whether by 2 inches or 10,000 miles. I am really just trying to let that roll off my back, it's not worth a tumor or cancer. I have to be my own cheering crowd, back patter, my own patron, disciple and admirer and thats just fine.
Anyway, blah blah blah, I am going to get cozy under my fur throw in my starry pajamas with Patchy and catch some Zs, no alarm clocks tomorrow, I'm getting up when I feel like it. That felt good to say!
I watched House tonight, I get sucked into the TV sometimes, I'm not proud of it. All of this medical nonsense just tickles me though.
I'll have to go into work tomorrow anyway, I didn't really want to but it will be alright, I'll get to spend a few hours at the Taj Majal instead of the cemetery it will make the day pass faster. Then Thursday I am going to do Thanksgiving with my dads family in the morning and then with Steven's family later on and Friday my mom and I are going to start early and go Christmas shopping and birthday shopping for my dad, Steven's birthday is Monday but he's doesn't want anything from me except a 25lb lighter frame and more frequent application of common sense (I have my days) and I can't really buy that at the mall. I have to get a little more motivated and out of this depression slump, I can see myself, my shell I guess, I am on the outside several feet away and I can't seem to get back inside but it's getting better because it was so bad and so far away in the past that I wasn't sure what I was seeing was me but no one is going to believe that until I'm myself again, there is no progress to my judges, there is only failure, failure to achieve the goal, failure is failure whether by 2 inches or 10,000 miles. I am really just trying to let that roll off my back, it's not worth a tumor or cancer. I have to be my own cheering crowd, back patter, my own patron, disciple and admirer and thats just fine.
Anyway, blah blah blah, I am going to get cozy under my fur throw in my starry pajamas with Patchy and catch some Zs, no alarm clocks tomorrow, I'm getting up when I feel like it. That felt good to say!