birthdays...
...are for little kids and arrogant, self-centered, bratty, whiny dickheads who use their birthday as an excuse to get out of doing anything they don't want to do and to make others feel guilty about asking small favors of them. "i can't believe i have to go to work on my birthday!", "i can't believe i'm doing laundry on my birthday!", "i can't believe i'm paying for sex on my birthday!" grow the fuck up people! we don't believe in santa claus anymore, we don't believe in the easter bunny anymore, we don't believe in the tooth fairy anymore, many of us don't even believe in God anymore, so why do you still believe people actually give a shit about you and you fucking birthday? everyone's just there for the booze, and not because they care what fucking day you were born on. i actually met someone this year who implied she should also get special treatment and attention on her "pre-birth", which is apparently like her 'birthday eve', though semantically, that's not at all what "pre-birth" means. whatever, she was dumb.
what's a birthday anyway? the day i was born, yeah, but who says we should celebrate that anyway? maybe some people aren't deserving of birthdays. not that i'm saying i'm one of those people, i just don't understand why we have to celebrate all of our acquaintances' birthdays EVERY YEAR! a year's not a very long time. and it's totally arbitrary that we choose to measure age in years. so, if we had instead decided to measure age in months, would i have to try desperately every month to prevent people from telling me "happy birthday"? God, what a fucking empty saying that is.
also, i'd be 312 months old if we did it that way. and that sounds even more depressing than being 26 years old.
you may have guessed by now that i recently "had" (not "celebrated") a birthday. i purposely removed my birthdate from all of the social networking sites i use several weeks in advance, so that my 86 "friends" on facebook wouldn't leave me 86 messages that all say verbatim "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!1!". really? tell me something i don't know. anyway, i think my 4 immediate family members told me "happy birthday", as did my two best friends, but only because they all truly care about me and refused to allow me to refuse to allow them to say it to me. (everybody got that?) i did nothing on my birthday. i worked from 10-5. i had a staff meeting at my other job from 5-6:30. my mom made me spaghetti. i went for a drive and had a cigarette. i visited наталия at work. and i went to bed early because i had to work early the next morning. the fucking end. that spaghetti dinner was my birthday gift. and i gotta say, this was the best birthday i've had in years! maybe ever. definitely better than the year i tried to have a party and my 10 friends showed up for an hour, then left for someone else's birthday party (nick and david stayed because they are cool). and it was definitely better than being strung out and alone like last year.
the point is this, and i'm not suggesting that i'm superior to anyone because i don't do this (i'm just saying), but i wish people would stop using their birthday as an attention-getter or a get-out-of-jail-free card. there's nothing more pathetic than hearing an adult whine "but it's my birthday!". or when someone says "hey my birthday's next week, just to let you know". oh, am i supposed to get you a gift? or are you that insecure that you need to recruit as many people as possible to say "happy birthday" to you on your birthday, because that's the only way you can feel "special" and slightly less like a whore?
yes.
what's a birthday anyway? the day i was born, yeah, but who says we should celebrate that anyway? maybe some people aren't deserving of birthdays. not that i'm saying i'm one of those people, i just don't understand why we have to celebrate all of our acquaintances' birthdays EVERY YEAR! a year's not a very long time. and it's totally arbitrary that we choose to measure age in years. so, if we had instead decided to measure age in months, would i have to try desperately every month to prevent people from telling me "happy birthday"? God, what a fucking empty saying that is.
also, i'd be 312 months old if we did it that way. and that sounds even more depressing than being 26 years old.
you may have guessed by now that i recently "had" (not "celebrated") a birthday. i purposely removed my birthdate from all of the social networking sites i use several weeks in advance, so that my 86 "friends" on facebook wouldn't leave me 86 messages that all say verbatim "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!!!1!". really? tell me something i don't know. anyway, i think my 4 immediate family members told me "happy birthday", as did my two best friends, but only because they all truly care about me and refused to allow me to refuse to allow them to say it to me. (everybody got that?) i did nothing on my birthday. i worked from 10-5. i had a staff meeting at my other job from 5-6:30. my mom made me spaghetti. i went for a drive and had a cigarette. i visited наталия at work. and i went to bed early because i had to work early the next morning. the fucking end. that spaghetti dinner was my birthday gift. and i gotta say, this was the best birthday i've had in years! maybe ever. definitely better than the year i tried to have a party and my 10 friends showed up for an hour, then left for someone else's birthday party (nick and david stayed because they are cool). and it was definitely better than being strung out and alone like last year.
the point is this, and i'm not suggesting that i'm superior to anyone because i don't do this (i'm just saying), but i wish people would stop using their birthday as an attention-getter or a get-out-of-jail-free card. there's nothing more pathetic than hearing an adult whine "but it's my birthday!". or when someone says "hey my birthday's next week, just to let you know". oh, am i supposed to get you a gift? or are you that insecure that you need to recruit as many people as possible to say "happy birthday" to you on your birthday, because that's the only way you can feel "special" and slightly less like a whore?
yes.