(no subject)
i miss him today :( haven't felt that particular emotion so strongly in a while. it's a little bittersweet.
maybe because i'm going to the Fireproof seminar tonight. maybe because chris and i talked so much last night.
i'm not really sure where i stand right now though.
part of me is dying to be in a serious relationship
another part knows i'm crazy to think i'm ready for something like that
and the last part of me is having a hard time believing there's someone out there at all
catlan helped with that part considerably. but i'm still reluctant
i'm moving to north carolina as soon as i can arrange everything. partially becuase it's gorgeous.
but mostly to leave him behind.
also, i feel like i've changed too much to stick around here. i need a fresh start, i need to meet people who don't already have an idea in their head of who i used to be.
i'm making so much progress. i feel bad, i sort of resent the people who keep pulling me back to where i came from. it's not their fault they don't understand.
i just messed up alot things this past year, and i'm so so so ready to be done with it. i'm getting better. but of course these things don't happen over night. but a change of scenery will help. get rid of the bad influences, the old memories, etc. it will be quite cleansing i hope.
i can't wait.
maybe because i'm going to the Fireproof seminar tonight. maybe because chris and i talked so much last night.
i'm not really sure where i stand right now though.
part of me is dying to be in a serious relationship
another part knows i'm crazy to think i'm ready for something like that
and the last part of me is having a hard time believing there's someone out there at all
catlan helped with that part considerably. but i'm still reluctant
i'm moving to north carolina as soon as i can arrange everything. partially becuase it's gorgeous.
but mostly to leave him behind.
also, i feel like i've changed too much to stick around here. i need a fresh start, i need to meet people who don't already have an idea in their head of who i used to be.
i'm making so much progress. i feel bad, i sort of resent the people who keep pulling me back to where i came from. it's not their fault they don't understand.
i just messed up alot things this past year, and i'm so so so ready to be done with it. i'm getting better. but of course these things don't happen over night. but a change of scenery will help. get rid of the bad influences, the old memories, etc. it will be quite cleansing i hope.
i can't wait.