my very first love letter
Dear Max.
Now is the right time to explain everything I was never able to put into words. I've known you for about half a year now. And from the first moment on I knew you are special, maybe more special than anybody ever was. The only thing I had on my mind since then was meeting you. I got exited and I felt that this was something else, something I never had before.
That was the point when my luck turned into fear. You were about to visit me and I got lost in thoughts. I thought about being disaffected when I would meet you. I thought about you finding me not pretty enough. I thought about getting together and then being left by you and how much that would hurt. I have never loved someone like this before. This is why I stepped back.
I got together with José. Maybe the biggest mistake I ever made. I talked myself into loving him to get over you. But it didn't work.
I figured out that it hurt even more being separated from you than realizing you wouldn't want to be with me. I had to try it. Otherwise I would grow old knowing that I lost the love of my life before I was ever allowed to be with him.
That is why.
There is no other and no better reason why I acted like I did.
It may not be a good reason but it is the only reason I can give.
Because it is the only reason that is true.
I am as sorry as one can be for what I did to you.
And I know that there is nothing I could do to make it up to you.
I cannot turn back time.
I cannot make you forget.
But I can promise you my heart and my soul and everything I am for the rest of my life as long as you want it.
Take me on a silver plate, wrapped up in paper, tied up with a ribbon, served with knife and fork.
Now is the right time to explain everything I was never able to put into words. I've known you for about half a year now. And from the first moment on I knew you are special, maybe more special than anybody ever was. The only thing I had on my mind since then was meeting you. I got exited and I felt that this was something else, something I never had before.
That was the point when my luck turned into fear. You were about to visit me and I got lost in thoughts. I thought about being disaffected when I would meet you. I thought about you finding me not pretty enough. I thought about getting together and then being left by you and how much that would hurt. I have never loved someone like this before. This is why I stepped back.
I got together with José. Maybe the biggest mistake I ever made. I talked myself into loving him to get over you. But it didn't work.
I figured out that it hurt even more being separated from you than realizing you wouldn't want to be with me. I had to try it. Otherwise I would grow old knowing that I lost the love of my life before I was ever allowed to be with him.
That is why.
There is no other and no better reason why I acted like I did.
It may not be a good reason but it is the only reason I can give.
Because it is the only reason that is true.
I am as sorry as one can be for what I did to you.
And I know that there is nothing I could do to make it up to you.
I cannot turn back time.
I cannot make you forget.
But I can promise you my heart and my soul and everything I am for the rest of my life as long as you want it.
Take me on a silver plate, wrapped up in paper, tied up with a ribbon, served with knife and fork.