*~*last night I had a dream that turned out to be a nightmare *~*
It was half past eight. My father and I got in the car to pick up Martin from the train station. I never met him before but I knew him from an internet community and we seemed to get along so he wanted to come over and talk a little. By that time I already knew he has a girlfriend but he's practicing free love. I knew about the problems he has with her because she told him he has to choose between his freedom and their relationship. Anyway he came over...
I went out of the car and welcomed Martin in my tiny hometown (he's from Hamburg). We went to the car and drove to my home. We sat on the sofa, the main light turned off but a couple of fairy lights illumining the room.
He pulled a bottle of wine out of his bag, I fetched glasses.
We started to talk and talk and really got along amazingly well. After some time we started touching "accidentally". I went into the kitchen to get each of us a beer. We started holding hands. Then he said he really doesn't know what to do. He loves his girlfriend but he really wants this to happen. I told him it was his choice. He looked at a wall for some seconds which felt like an eternity. Then he turned to me and kissed me long and passionate. The kissing got more and more fiercely till we went to my bed, starting to undress (in fact I've got no memory of how I got nacked)... we really had amazing sex (three times). It was such a pleasure feeling him, his soft skin, sucking in his smell, my handy diving into his hair, his clear eyes and his incredible lips, crimson of all the kissing. After everything was over he looked at a watch. His last train had left 10 minutes ago. So I decided to just let him stay and that he could take the first train back to Hamburg. I fell asleep in his strong arms and I swear I haven't slept that well in a long time. When we woke up it was already six in the morning. I was worried because I hadn't told my parents about him staying and they would be angry when they'd find out. I decided to hide him till he can get out of the house without the danger of being discovered. I just didn't want him to leave, I felt secure around him. I wanted this moment to never end. But my father saw him, I've got trouble with my parents now.
And he won't have a relationship with me because he loves his girlfriend a lot. All day he kept on kissing me, holding my hand but I don't really know if this means anything and I don't expect to see him ever again. He told me he would call this evening to tell me how the talk with his girlfriend went but since now he hasn't called. I don't think he will. I knew about his situation before so I have no right complaining. It is my own fault that I'm having an argument with my parents and that I feel something for someone who has always been honest to me and didn't bluehat something that was never on the table. Still I feel fucked up.
Did I mention I'm not engaged anymore? Well, now I did. I broke up with him one day after I cheated on him for the second time (damn, I'm such a bitch - and I don't care a fuck).
I went out of the car and welcomed Martin in my tiny hometown (he's from Hamburg). We went to the car and drove to my home. We sat on the sofa, the main light turned off but a couple of fairy lights illumining the room.
He pulled a bottle of wine out of his bag, I fetched glasses.
We started to talk and talk and really got along amazingly well. After some time we started touching "accidentally". I went into the kitchen to get each of us a beer. We started holding hands. Then he said he really doesn't know what to do. He loves his girlfriend but he really wants this to happen. I told him it was his choice. He looked at a wall for some seconds which felt like an eternity. Then he turned to me and kissed me long and passionate. The kissing got more and more fiercely till we went to my bed, starting to undress (in fact I've got no memory of how I got nacked)... we really had amazing sex (three times). It was such a pleasure feeling him, his soft skin, sucking in his smell, my handy diving into his hair, his clear eyes and his incredible lips, crimson of all the kissing. After everything was over he looked at a watch. His last train had left 10 minutes ago. So I decided to just let him stay and that he could take the first train back to Hamburg. I fell asleep in his strong arms and I swear I haven't slept that well in a long time. When we woke up it was already six in the morning. I was worried because I hadn't told my parents about him staying and they would be angry when they'd find out. I decided to hide him till he can get out of the house without the danger of being discovered. I just didn't want him to leave, I felt secure around him. I wanted this moment to never end. But my father saw him, I've got trouble with my parents now.
And he won't have a relationship with me because he loves his girlfriend a lot. All day he kept on kissing me, holding my hand but I don't really know if this means anything and I don't expect to see him ever again. He told me he would call this evening to tell me how the talk with his girlfriend went but since now he hasn't called. I don't think he will. I knew about his situation before so I have no right complaining. It is my own fault that I'm having an argument with my parents and that I feel something for someone who has always been honest to me and didn't bluehat something that was never on the table. Still I feel fucked up.
Did I mention I'm not engaged anymore? Well, now I did. I broke up with him one day after I cheated on him for the second time (damn, I'm such a bitch - and I don't care a fuck).