Fic: From pkaner88@gmail.com, All-Star Captain
Title: From pkaner88@gmail.com, All-Star Captain
Fandom: Hockey RPS // Chicago Blackhawks
Rating: PG-13
Pairing: Jonathan Toews/Patrick Kane
Words: 861
Notes: Formatting (still) sucks. (AND I suppose I should ask this here too because omgdesperate but I want to go to the Hawks/Bruins game, March 29. Anyone game? Lol pun. RL friends don't like so much the hockey, and my dad keeps telling me, "Go alone, you pussy," but that would be not much fun.)
Summary: Patrick Kane responds to being named an alternate captain for the All-Star Game.
First | Second | Third
From pkaner88@gmail.com, All-Star Captain
From: pkaner88@gmail.com
To: jonathan.toews@gmail.com, thesharpshootah@gmail.com, dkeith@gmail.com
Subject: check it bitches
Mike Green of the Washington Capitals, Patrick Kane of the Stanley Cup® Champion Chicago Blackhawks, Ryan Kesler of the Vancouver Canucks and Martin St. Louis of the Tampa Bay Lightning have been named Alternate Captains for the 2011 NHL All-Star Weekend in Raleigh, the National Hockey League Players’ Association (NHLPA) and the National Hockey League (NHL®) announced today. Green and Kesler join the team of Captain Eric Staal from the host Carolina Hurricanes while Kane and St. Louis become part of the team of Captain Nicklas Lidstrom from the Detroit Red Wings.
1 captain and 2 alt captains to chose from and who gets the pick?…ill give u a hint… ME! the nhl picked me over all ur sorry asses smart choice clearly i bet they saw the caliber of players and were like this one?
nah hes shitty at shootouts and his hair is nasty and hes a bossy asshole and then they were like how about this one?
becuz hes already captain and he makes funny faces on the ice but surely thers some1 better how aboot this 1?
but then the nhl was like…hes got like 0 teeth he must be really old and slow and his hair is gross and he looks like a girl omg theres the obvious choice…
ill take bribes for team kane/lidstrom but only if theyr really really good like private island or new car good fight amongst urselves but keep it clean ladies i no how bad u all wanna be on the winning team :)
Patrick Kane '88
All-Star Captain
From: thesharpshootah@gmail.com
To: pkaner88@gmail.com
Re: check it bitches
Peekaboo,
Wow, 22 years old and already painting at a first grade level! Did you show that to your kindergarten teacher or your mother? Does Johnny hang your pictures up on the fridge for you? (If you didn't get that joke-too many hits to the head probably-I basically called you too short to reach the fridge.)
Thank God, I've already got an in with Team Staal. All-Star weekend is like a dream come true now. A few days where I don't have to see you on a regular basis AND I get to run you into the boards. Me, Scott, and Seabs are gonna be spending a lot of time together this next week. You know, so I'm ready.
Sharp
From: pkaner88@gmail.com
To: thesharpshootah@gmail.com
Re: Re: check it bitches
har har sharp…no asswipe my mom doesnt see my artwork and im 5 10 not 4 2 you candian sasquatch im tired of u treating me like im the worlds smallest hockey player the discrimnation stops here
u know what i dont even want u on my team if ur gonna continue to act like this cuz leaders r supportive of there teammates and ur not being really supportive rite now
Patrick Kane '88
All-Star Captain
Team Staal Sucks!
From: jonathan.toews@gmail.com
To: pkaner88@gmail.com
Re: check it bitches
You do know you're only the alternate captain right? The alternate captain for the All-Star Game. One game, Patrick. Besides, the NHL probably picked you because it'll be their only chance to sell a Kane jersey with an 'A' on it. Ever. Good marketing, nothing more.
I look forward to beating you next week, regardless. Bragging rights for the rest of my life if (and when) I do.
P.S. Your drawings are ridiculous. Really, really ridiculous. We just got off the plane. How is this even possible?
From: pkaner88@gmail.com
To: jonathan.toews@gmail.com
Re: Re: check it bitches
>>> You do know you're only the alternate captain right?
im gonna tell sharp and keith u said that CAPTAIN TOEWS think ur soooo much bettr than them huh? we can impeach u u kno
jealous cuz the ladies love the kaner jersey and u only get the old wrinkly men rockin the tayves? yeah i thought so
i shuld make u sleep on the couch for ur mean comments but im a nice captain (nicer than u by a lot) so i wont…see u tmmrw a captain (me) needs his rest…unless u wanna phone sex me u know captain 2 captain
From: dkeith@gmail.com
To: pkaner88@gmail.com
Re: hahahahahaha
Thats something else right there. Kelly says its adorable. Maybe you should make a few of the Flyers. Think I'm sticking with Team Staal though. No hard feelings.
Keith
From: jonathan.toews@gmail.com
To: pkaner88@gmail.com
Re: Re: Re: Quit propositioning me, Kane
First of all, I'm fairly sure you can't impeach me. Actually, I'm completely sure. Second of all, you know the word impeach? And finally, we should both probably go to sleep. Game in the morning.
Also, know where I'm sleeping, Kaner? My own apartment. So yes, I'll see you tomorrow.
From: pkaner88@gmail.com
To: jonathan.toews@gmail.com
Re: Re: Re: Re: never!
fine u suck prolly intimidated by my new captain status :) its cool id have been gentle wit u…night baby
From: pkaner88@gmail.com
To: dkeith@gmail.com
Re: Re: hahahahahaha
traitor sharp put u up to this didnt he…im disapointed at least i have my captaindom 2 make me feel bettr about myslef :)))))
From: dkeith@gmail.com
To: pkaner88@gmail.com
Re: Re: Re: hahahahahaha
Sure, Kaner. Sure.