Proof
Well, I was debating for a couple of days if I should write about this or not but since I am still processing my actions from Saturday night I decided I should so I can at least clear my head a little. Overall, I guess I feel neutral about it all but leaning towards the "give myself a pat on the back". Since I am probably killing all of you with curiosity I suppose I'll get right to it.
For the past month or nearly a month, I've buckled down and minded my own business while getting my life back on track post relationship. So far so good. Weeks ago, when I still was a little miserable, I found an article online that laid some positive groundwork on coping and moving on. I took the first challenge that said article posed, "no matter what go one full month without thinking about her, calling, visiting, no contact at all, disappear". Basically, I was to use this time to do what I was already doing - reflecting, reviewing, getting my head on straight, and moving on. It was definitely working, got very comfortable talking about my feelings and such.
So I was ready to pack it in for Saturday night when my phone rang. As soon as I knew it was her I got so excited that I won "the challenge". I was ready to go the distance, possibly never contacting her again, just to see if she would ever break down and contact me. I let the phone ring a bit before I answered. For whatever reason, she was heading out to some house party nearby and wanted me to tag along, mentioning something along the lines of not knowing anybody there except the hostess. I agreed to go with her but honestly as an excuse to go out and do something unplanned and random, such as partying with people I never met in a house I never been to. Kinda cool that I was suddenly courageous enough to do this.
We ended up hanging out at her place for a while, neither of us not wanting to be the first arrivals. So we drank a few shots and I poured a glass or two while we played tipsy Mario Bros as she attempted to describe her current "struggles" with dating. Apparently, she has had two first dates, both were miserable. I choose not to respond or really care for that matter. I opted to drive us out after the fact and I was already loose and silly before I got there. The party turned out to be about six people including the two of us but the group turned out to be of the industrial nature so I ended up having a blast listening to the usual - Skinny Puppy, FLA, etc. I never intended to stay by her side that night so I sat and drank while she mingled so I think it turned out to be a positive evening overall.
I think I passed out at about 1 and woke up again at about 3 when I heard some arguing going on. Party killer. So I got up, walked out, and headed to my car. I wasn't going to leave but I was cold so I sat there with the heat on. She managed to find me, probably assuming I was going to abandon her but I told her the truth and that I wasn't going to leave but I probably wanted to in about a half hour. She told me it was okay and that she was just going to stay so I ended up leaving anyways. No harm, no foul it seems.
So now here I sit not fully remembering what to do regarding "the challenge" since I assumed she'd never actually contact me again. Now that I know she has and probably will again, I'm not wanting to come off as an ass. Maybe I wait a couple of weeks or I just crawl back into ignore mode? I'm not trying to win her back as a girlfriend or anything but I'd like for us to continue to move on comfortably as occasional friends, that sort of thing. Thankfully, with school and everything else going on I think adequate time will pass between us anyways before I can act if I ever choose to do so.
Overall, I'm proud of myself for not "caving in first". I didn't think I knew what self control was but I am getting the sense of it for sure.
For the past month or nearly a month, I've buckled down and minded my own business while getting my life back on track post relationship. So far so good. Weeks ago, when I still was a little miserable, I found an article online that laid some positive groundwork on coping and moving on. I took the first challenge that said article posed, "no matter what go one full month without thinking about her, calling, visiting, no contact at all, disappear". Basically, I was to use this time to do what I was already doing - reflecting, reviewing, getting my head on straight, and moving on. It was definitely working, got very comfortable talking about my feelings and such.
So I was ready to pack it in for Saturday night when my phone rang. As soon as I knew it was her I got so excited that I won "the challenge". I was ready to go the distance, possibly never contacting her again, just to see if she would ever break down and contact me. I let the phone ring a bit before I answered. For whatever reason, she was heading out to some house party nearby and wanted me to tag along, mentioning something along the lines of not knowing anybody there except the hostess. I agreed to go with her but honestly as an excuse to go out and do something unplanned and random, such as partying with people I never met in a house I never been to. Kinda cool that I was suddenly courageous enough to do this.
We ended up hanging out at her place for a while, neither of us not wanting to be the first arrivals. So we drank a few shots and I poured a glass or two while we played tipsy Mario Bros as she attempted to describe her current "struggles" with dating. Apparently, she has had two first dates, both were miserable. I choose not to respond or really care for that matter. I opted to drive us out after the fact and I was already loose and silly before I got there. The party turned out to be about six people including the two of us but the group turned out to be of the industrial nature so I ended up having a blast listening to the usual - Skinny Puppy, FLA, etc. I never intended to stay by her side that night so I sat and drank while she mingled so I think it turned out to be a positive evening overall.
I think I passed out at about 1 and woke up again at about 3 when I heard some arguing going on. Party killer. So I got up, walked out, and headed to my car. I wasn't going to leave but I was cold so I sat there with the heat on. She managed to find me, probably assuming I was going to abandon her but I told her the truth and that I wasn't going to leave but I probably wanted to in about a half hour. She told me it was okay and that she was just going to stay so I ended up leaving anyways. No harm, no foul it seems.
So now here I sit not fully remembering what to do regarding "the challenge" since I assumed she'd never actually contact me again. Now that I know she has and probably will again, I'm not wanting to come off as an ass. Maybe I wait a couple of weeks or I just crawl back into ignore mode? I'm not trying to win her back as a girlfriend or anything but I'd like for us to continue to move on comfortably as occasional friends, that sort of thing. Thankfully, with school and everything else going on I think adequate time will pass between us anyways before I can act if I ever choose to do so.
Overall, I'm proud of myself for not "caving in first". I didn't think I knew what self control was but I am getting the sense of it for sure.