WOW
Wow my friends are insanely bored....so... i came bak from my cousins house sunday... a lil late... i really wanted to go over kyles house.....i listen to his mix cds all the time and it always makes me extremely sad....i miss him....the old days...we've been drifting and feelings have been replaced and mixed and hurt and....ehhhhh he sed hes incapable of plutonic love wen its not in his family...i told him... for the past two years he is part of my family.... apart of me...there were days i thought our friendship wud never die... but we dont seem to b one the same level i guess.... i dont know wut id do with out him...its been about 5 years....and i cant c my life without him...sure... wen things got stressfull id think about never seeing him again and it made me realize... no matter how bad things may get with us... itd b worse if he wasnt around... so i just keep up faith....i know in the end wut will happen....
soooo....my older cousin(melissa) up in lynn... yes...she brought me and my younger cousin up for the weekend....those of u who have been following the plights of my younger cousin ashley knows that she has an ocd with sleepin with older men...we were all on the front porch and i decided to got in to IM my b/f and an hour or two goes by and shes not where i can c her... so i freak out and race all around the nieghbor hood lookin for her... i found her behind a house makin out with Mix... a 22 year old who cant speak english.....then my "niece"(nashi-11) flips out on him cuz she likes him and he does druggs and doesnt want ashley to get hurt cuz hes gonna use her and bleh... bottom line... i chased both of them around all nite arguin and fighting and....ehhh yeah.
so ne of u who know me really well.... know that im deathly afraid of tunnels....i hate them... but thats the only way to get from brockton to lynn... on the way bak.... there was traffic so i was stuck in there for a half hour....i was ready to jump out of the car and run for the light.
ne way... just as i was about to crash in my room last nite....chris amanda and jeff picked me up...my family proceeded to embarass me in which i told chris to seriously hit the gas pedal. we picked up mark and his mom embarassad him to so i wasnt alone hehehehe...we went to bk and idk....i just felt weird... it cud b my pms...but... i realized...im not bein shallow...having a b/f constitues a certain balance of emotional and physical attraction....thats wut separates being friends from being more...jeff is a sweet guy but i just have no physical attraction to him wut so ever. hes kind of a slob... and ive tried to make myself like him but.... no... it wont work... every one thinx i can do much better than him.... its rude but i guess i can c it a bit....i really dont want to hurt his feelings but i cant help the way i feel...it sux cuz wen hes not around, i want him, but wen he is around, i dont. i still want to b friends with him cuz his gang is wicked cool...especially amanda mark and chris... but im afraid they'll b mad at me...another thing... wen ever im with him.... i imagine im with mark...i dont mean to do it on purpose but...the more i think about it... the more i think i like mark alot..... but i know that tryin to hook up with him wud b soo wrong...but i can't help but think of his eyes...
this girl that they really hate wanted to come along but we had no room in the car...so she offered to ride in the trunk...seriously..where ever we went... she hopped rite in..i dont c y they hate her... oh well
so wut else... i guess im goin to c kyle tonite...i ve gotten over my inferiorty thing with him... he really cares....he wants me to sew stuff for him...
i need to make plans with stacey and tina and cory...i miss them so much... i dont want them to think i only went over there to c craig... thats not the deal... they r wicked awesome..i miss molly too...
i have switch foot stuck in my head...
~the antelope~
soooo....my older cousin(melissa) up in lynn... yes...she brought me and my younger cousin up for the weekend....those of u who have been following the plights of my younger cousin ashley knows that she has an ocd with sleepin with older men...we were all on the front porch and i decided to got in to IM my b/f and an hour or two goes by and shes not where i can c her... so i freak out and race all around the nieghbor hood lookin for her... i found her behind a house makin out with Mix... a 22 year old who cant speak english.....then my "niece"(nashi-11) flips out on him cuz she likes him and he does druggs and doesnt want ashley to get hurt cuz hes gonna use her and bleh... bottom line... i chased both of them around all nite arguin and fighting and....ehhh yeah.
so ne of u who know me really well.... know that im deathly afraid of tunnels....i hate them... but thats the only way to get from brockton to lynn... on the way bak.... there was traffic so i was stuck in there for a half hour....i was ready to jump out of the car and run for the light.
ne way... just as i was about to crash in my room last nite....chris amanda and jeff picked me up...my family proceeded to embarass me in which i told chris to seriously hit the gas pedal. we picked up mark and his mom embarassad him to so i wasnt alone hehehehe...we went to bk and idk....i just felt weird... it cud b my pms...but... i realized...im not bein shallow...having a b/f constitues a certain balance of emotional and physical attraction....thats wut separates being friends from being more...jeff is a sweet guy but i just have no physical attraction to him wut so ever. hes kind of a slob... and ive tried to make myself like him but.... no... it wont work... every one thinx i can do much better than him.... its rude but i guess i can c it a bit....i really dont want to hurt his feelings but i cant help the way i feel...it sux cuz wen hes not around, i want him, but wen he is around, i dont. i still want to b friends with him cuz his gang is wicked cool...especially amanda mark and chris... but im afraid they'll b mad at me...another thing... wen ever im with him.... i imagine im with mark...i dont mean to do it on purpose but...the more i think about it... the more i think i like mark alot..... but i know that tryin to hook up with him wud b soo wrong...but i can't help but think of his eyes...
this girl that they really hate wanted to come along but we had no room in the car...so she offered to ride in the trunk...seriously..where ever we went... she hopped rite in..i dont c y they hate her... oh well
so wut else... i guess im goin to c kyle tonite...i ve gotten over my inferiorty thing with him... he really cares....he wants me to sew stuff for him...
i need to make plans with stacey and tina and cory...i miss them so much... i dont want them to think i only went over there to c craig... thats not the deal... they r wicked awesome..i miss molly too...
i have switch foot stuck in my head...
~the antelope~