Dec 05, 2004 13:21
Im so fucked!!!! I did something and those of u who know wut i did.... dont post anything about it.... please.... the information might hurt somebody... Im truely sorry for wut happened... oh man.... its almost sorted out... with a few calls and a trip or two... it'll b done with.... i dont even know if there is a problem but theres always a chance... oh man.... ok... im ok.... ashley blamed herself.... i sed no... it was my fault.... but she convinced me... she talked shit... she was more upset than i was... i dont blame her... i sed yes... but i do blame her in a way... i sed no.... i coulda.... ok... yeah.. im ok... im not too worried but y is my heart goin so fast? oh shit... ok... yeah... im good now... it wasnt even worth it... im ok... or am i in denial.... yes.... i need a hugg... and dont let me go...
so the good thing is that netti is off my ass.... he was so mad at me...he thought i was his girl....he wouldn't take no fer an answer and u shudda heard max....he wanted to cuss him out or something.... i like when he gets like that... makes me feel like he actually wants me... im going insane... im ok... yeah... i cant help but feel cynical... i can wait...
ok so my moms boyfriend has the same heart problem that my dad died of... can u imagine... they've been dating fer ten years now... i dont think she could take it again... i used to hate him... but atleast he keeps me mom happy... i can respect that.
wut else... oh yeah... i talked to kyle..... i noticed that i started going downhill around the same time i stopped hanging out with him(im not blaming him... its not a bad thing... its a good thing actually).... sounds stupid but hes prolly my anti-drug... i thought it was over between me and him... like we were meant to drift away... but i do need him in my life.... i tell him everything... even if he doesnt say nething bak... even if i hate wut he does say... i need him... hes the only person that i know truely cares about me besides my family.... hes been with me through alot of shit...
ok... im good.... im ok....
~the antelope~
P.S. I missed my appointment so my cast comes off tomorrow....