(no subject)
so life, as it seems is pretty damn close to perfect, got a great boyfriend, our anniversary was yesterday big 6 months for us, never been happier, in a relationship, its again pretty damn disturbingly awesome =), so i've changed a lot for him, in good ways none the less, i've tried believing in myself, which all in all isn't so bad, i've started to eat, stopped cutting, you can call him my little savior and hero, he saved me from one of the worst times in my life, and he jumped in and tried to save me, from an evil person, and from the things that no 18year old person or anyone should have to go through, he's made me trust,...(((he stands by me through my jealousy over his past, over his friends that are girls, he's put up with it all, but sometimes i wish i can take him back in time with me and show him why i have the right to be jealous, while he was going to parties and hanging out with his girlfriends and buddies getting plastered, i was raising a kid, trying to be his mommy and daddy and make sure he had a better life than i did, trying to go to school and everything that goes along with it, i didnt have time for fun, i wasnt allowed to go to parties i didnt have time to date)))...he's made me know what love truly is not what lust disguised as love is, he's believed in me and had faith in me, which is seldom in my case, not many people care, they are just quick to jump to pity jezzica, he told me once that i was a born victim, and now i truly know what it means, i always ask why me what did i do to deserve things that happen to me, and then i realize that is just what i am here for, i am just a victim, things happen to me that are good very seldomly, i mean taylors stuck around for this long, and all my friends that stand by me thru everything, and regardless of being a victim, they can see that i am just a person, a person thats been thru way to much for anyone to handle this young, and i am thankful for taylor and everyone that has once saved me from bad things, or just being there to listen to me speak for once...
ok, now heres the real update after the long thank you to taylor for being awesome...i miss school, not that i'm not at school right now, but i miss the people the people that just make it coker, the freaks, the gay kids, the smokers, all my friends...i miss the late night smoking and the talking about life, and all that fun...hartsville isnt the same, i am not the same, its like a little piece of me is not here...yes for those who havent noticed i live in hartsville now, for taylor, if thats not love i dont know what is =), on a semi-permanent basis, thanks to the name calling i ran past my step dad i am no longer welcome in my own home, so hartsville is my home, the rooster is my haven, and shelly is my roomie, talking to xine right now is almost painful, i miss her, i miss the talks...so school wise i am an imense amount of debt, i start summer school next week, i'm working for one of the prof's here everyday and its pretty fun i mean i am updating my journal at work, i do promotions for a lady in mrytle beach about every weekend, but i dont see the money for 30 days after the job, but i need a new computer i need stuff for coker when i move back in, i need money for christmas for taylor and his birthday, and other peoples birthdays...lifes good i cant complain about a lot, except i would like to unpack my room some more if we could just not chill at the shop a lot today i could get it all done, suckie's tank needs to be cleaned, i've gotta take the two week old spagetti out of the fridge so me and shelly can get rid of fruit flies, wherever those little bastards are coming in...shelly is a good roomate, we dont get to see each other much do to mario kart and rpg's, but i think its healthy we wont have the chance to kill each other from spending to much time with each other...saw pulp fiction last night for the first time...i give it 4 stars it was good...better than i was expecting..taylor was adorable last night he wanted to nap, but i wanted to play snood, but he wanted me to lay with him, and with that puppy dog face i just couldnt say no, so i layed with him, or he layed on my chest and i rubbed his little back until he was good to go, and i would move to get comfy and he would clintch onto me and it was just a good way to spend an anniversary, no games...i would have to say i've gotten terribly used to the other woman in his life, wow, it never bothered me much to begin with i knew what i was getting myself into, but i mean its good that he has a passion and that i need sleep because i work, so it works out for the best, i wrote tammy a little message in her journal today, even though her's is friends only and i'm not a friend, i thought me being the nice person i am, say something nice to a fellow human with good taste in music...well i'm going to download some snood and wait for taylor to come and get me from work, all is well and i'm going to be updating more, i'm going to try not to be so depressing anymore, and i think i'm cuter not so depressed...teehee
bai bai
later all have a nice one, the weather in hartsville sucks right now, i dont like walking to work in rain ='(
oh well much love all
NIN was on the #1 list in rolling stone, thought you guys should know
happy 6 months love, i know everyone was wrong about us, but we showed them *high five* lol
sorry i'm tired, i'm the little zombie girl
Love,
†Jezzica Marie, taylors jealous ass, mario kart addicted, disgustingly cute girlfriend†
wow i dont think taylors ever been mentioned this much in a journal entry before...thats love for ya
ok, now heres the real update after the long thank you to taylor for being awesome...i miss school, not that i'm not at school right now, but i miss the people the people that just make it coker, the freaks, the gay kids, the smokers, all my friends...i miss the late night smoking and the talking about life, and all that fun...hartsville isnt the same, i am not the same, its like a little piece of me is not here...yes for those who havent noticed i live in hartsville now, for taylor, if thats not love i dont know what is =), on a semi-permanent basis, thanks to the name calling i ran past my step dad i am no longer welcome in my own home, so hartsville is my home, the rooster is my haven, and shelly is my roomie, talking to xine right now is almost painful, i miss her, i miss the talks...so school wise i am an imense amount of debt, i start summer school next week, i'm working for one of the prof's here everyday and its pretty fun i mean i am updating my journal at work, i do promotions for a lady in mrytle beach about every weekend, but i dont see the money for 30 days after the job, but i need a new computer i need stuff for coker when i move back in, i need money for christmas for taylor and his birthday, and other peoples birthdays...lifes good i cant complain about a lot, except i would like to unpack my room some more if we could just not chill at the shop a lot today i could get it all done, suckie's tank needs to be cleaned, i've gotta take the two week old spagetti out of the fridge so me and shelly can get rid of fruit flies, wherever those little bastards are coming in...shelly is a good roomate, we dont get to see each other much do to mario kart and rpg's, but i think its healthy we wont have the chance to kill each other from spending to much time with each other...saw pulp fiction last night for the first time...i give it 4 stars it was good...better than i was expecting..taylor was adorable last night he wanted to nap, but i wanted to play snood, but he wanted me to lay with him, and with that puppy dog face i just couldnt say no, so i layed with him, or he layed on my chest and i rubbed his little back until he was good to go, and i would move to get comfy and he would clintch onto me and it was just a good way to spend an anniversary, no games...i would have to say i've gotten terribly used to the other woman in his life, wow, it never bothered me much to begin with i knew what i was getting myself into, but i mean its good that he has a passion and that i need sleep because i work, so it works out for the best, i wrote tammy a little message in her journal today, even though her's is friends only and i'm not a friend, i thought me being the nice person i am, say something nice to a fellow human with good taste in music...well i'm going to download some snood and wait for taylor to come and get me from work, all is well and i'm going to be updating more, i'm going to try not to be so depressing anymore, and i think i'm cuter not so depressed...teehee
bai bai
later all have a nice one, the weather in hartsville sucks right now, i dont like walking to work in rain ='(
oh well much love all
NIN was on the #1 list in rolling stone, thought you guys should know
happy 6 months love, i know everyone was wrong about us, but we showed them *high five* lol
sorry i'm tired, i'm the little zombie girl
Love,
†Jezzica Marie, taylors jealous ass, mario kart addicted, disgustingly cute girlfriend†
wow i dont think taylors ever been mentioned this much in a journal entry before...thats love for ya