How soon is Now?
i am a frustrated person. everything has fallen upon my shoulders recently and i feel as if im being crushed. i dont know wat to do anymore.
i cant find a new job. i have applied everywhere and no one wants to hire me. i would understand if i was a dumbass with nothing to offer but i am a smart person. i feel like i am not good for anything. i dont want to continue working for the city of hialeah. it is a dead end job. i dont like it anymore. i work my ass off for the past 5 years trying to be the best employee i can be but no one cares. i just want to move on and finally feel satisfied with my job. i was once satisfied coaching kids until some stupid BITCH who was my best friend tried to get me fired. since that transfer i havent been satisfied with my job. it was cool at the pool but it was a waste of time.
my money situation is the hardest hit for me. i have nothing. i cant afford anything. i hate it when zenaida gives me money for gas. i dont like it. i am a gentleman. i believe that it is the mans job to pay for everything. but now i am nothing. i am a broke joke.
i have to appeal my student status to miami dade cuz they fucked up and didnt drop 2 of my courses. i want to get out of school already. i am even contimplating changing majors becuz i am not sure if wat i want to do with my life is the right thing. it has been a dream of mine since i was a freshman in high school to be a crime scene investigator. i love that stuff. how long does it take for someone to realize that their life long goal is not the thing for them? maybe i am not suited to work in that field. i dont know anymore. i wish i can just say fuck it all but i am nothing if i dont get a degree. i hate this feeling of worthlessness.
the bright spot in my life however is zenaida. i am glad that we r still together. eventho we are not together, we r together. we r at the space period right now. i just wish i can call her my gf again. she is the that light in my life that is making this darkness that surrounds me worth getting thru. if she wasnt there then i would have given up and said fuck the world.
how can i get my life back together? how can i be satisfied with my course in life? when will i get the chance to say that i am the man i want to be? when can i get enough money to show the love of my life the greatest date i can think of? when will i? why cant it come now? just like the song by the smiths:"HOW SOON IS NOW?"
i cant find a new job. i have applied everywhere and no one wants to hire me. i would understand if i was a dumbass with nothing to offer but i am a smart person. i feel like i am not good for anything. i dont want to continue working for the city of hialeah. it is a dead end job. i dont like it anymore. i work my ass off for the past 5 years trying to be the best employee i can be but no one cares. i just want to move on and finally feel satisfied with my job. i was once satisfied coaching kids until some stupid BITCH who was my best friend tried to get me fired. since that transfer i havent been satisfied with my job. it was cool at the pool but it was a waste of time.
my money situation is the hardest hit for me. i have nothing. i cant afford anything. i hate it when zenaida gives me money for gas. i dont like it. i am a gentleman. i believe that it is the mans job to pay for everything. but now i am nothing. i am a broke joke.
i have to appeal my student status to miami dade cuz they fucked up and didnt drop 2 of my courses. i want to get out of school already. i am even contimplating changing majors becuz i am not sure if wat i want to do with my life is the right thing. it has been a dream of mine since i was a freshman in high school to be a crime scene investigator. i love that stuff. how long does it take for someone to realize that their life long goal is not the thing for them? maybe i am not suited to work in that field. i dont know anymore. i wish i can just say fuck it all but i am nothing if i dont get a degree. i hate this feeling of worthlessness.
the bright spot in my life however is zenaida. i am glad that we r still together. eventho we are not together, we r together. we r at the space period right now. i just wish i can call her my gf again. she is the that light in my life that is making this darkness that surrounds me worth getting thru. if she wasnt there then i would have given up and said fuck the world.
how can i get my life back together? how can i be satisfied with my course in life? when will i get the chance to say that i am the man i want to be? when can i get enough money to show the love of my life the greatest date i can think of? when will i? why cant it come now? just like the song by the smiths:"HOW SOON IS NOW?"