the shadow of the past haunts my memory
it has been a long time since i have written in this journal... last time i wrote in here my life was wonderful... full of joy and happiness... since then i have gone thru a blur... im no longer with zenaida nor do i ever wanna return to her.... yes i do miss her, she was the love of my life, but i dont want to return to the constant arguements and lies that she brought to the picture... yes i did want to marry her but how can u marry someone that u cant trust... watever i am over it already... i moved on... i have had my encounters with other females since her... i guess the weirdest one is that chick cristina who keeps calling me wanting to have sex but i honestly would take a pass at fucking her... i know her ex and i dont want problems with him... another girl that i let get away was sofia... hmm sofia... wow things were going great between me and her... wow they really were... we were talking and we were really digging each other... wat a great time we spent hanging out those few times... but i fucked up and didnt take advantage cuz i took my time... i was afraid of starting a new relationship that i was taking it slow... so i lost sofia... her ex bf came back to her and apologized for everything and now they r back together and happy... i literally got into an argument with her so she can leave me alone... i dont want a friendship with her... i wanted something else and im no hater... i aint gonna interfere with her life... now im on my own... it sucks but watever... cant be depressed about things... ull spend soo much time depressed on things that ull forget how to be happy... do i hanestly wanna hear from my ex? no i dont wanna hear from her ever again... the further she is from my memory the better it is for me and her... she was a chapter in my life that i dont want to relive... i dont wish her any harm in her life... just happiness... im still laughing tho at the fact that she swears that she saw me drive by her house after it all went downhill... i havent passed by her house since that one night where i went to pick up my ps2... i have no reason to pass by there... none watsoever... the only reason ill have to go near her house is to go see a hurricanes game and im not getting any tickets this year cuz i dont wanna run into her at all... call me childish for avoiding any contact but thats the way it has to be... she fucked me over... well i gotta let yall go now... i gotta go shower... gonna go hang out with a few friends... laters