(no subject)
I have a confession to make children. Yes, it is true, a confession. There is something that weighs heavy on my soul and I must release it in order to begin the cleansing process of self-induced forgiveness so the heavenly zombie father may welcome me with open arms into the disco club in the sky.
My confession is this: Forgive me Daddy, for I have sinned. I have gone far too long without exorcising the demons within. Without ranting, without raving. I have consumed far too few illicit substances and too many healthy vitamins. I have not danced with reckless abandon. I have not written down my late night fervors. I have ignored the voices within and without. I have not run naked down a hotel hallway as of late. I have not argued with Creationists. I have not written angry letters to lettuce farmers demanding my genetically created 12 pound heads of lettuce that was promised by my high school science teacher. I have exercised too much. Been lazy too little. I have not manipulated my way into an esoteric fat camp for Jewish girls. In short, I have been very, very not naughty.
My confession is this: Forgive me Daddy, for I have sinned. I have gone far too long without exorcising the demons within. Without ranting, without raving. I have consumed far too few illicit substances and too many healthy vitamins. I have not danced with reckless abandon. I have not written down my late night fervors. I have ignored the voices within and without. I have not run naked down a hotel hallway as of late. I have not argued with Creationists. I have not written angry letters to lettuce farmers demanding my genetically created 12 pound heads of lettuce that was promised by my high school science teacher. I have exercised too much. Been lazy too little. I have not manipulated my way into an esoteric fat camp for Jewish girls. In short, I have been very, very not naughty.