Hurting
I hate to be home.
I wish she was here.
It hurts to think about her when she’s not here.
I can’t explain it.
I care about her.
I know i probably did something stupid and went too fast.
I understand she’s scared.
I understand she’s nervous.
I understand she doesn’t want to be hurt.
I know that i’m sitting here.
I don’t want to be home because it reminds me of the time we spent here.
Even if it wasn’t much.
It was still something.
I still got attached.
It sucks.
I have to learn to live with it.
She’s still a great friend.
But it still pains me to be around her.
And have things back to nothing.
When i’ve cared about her so.
Time will tell.
Time will heal.
Sometimes I don’t want to heal.
I’d rather live with the pain till it can return.
I fear it will never return.
I’ve never found someone who liked so much of the same that i did.
I will proabably never find someone else.
I don’t want to find someone else.
I just wish I could take back those actions.
Why was i so stupid and tried to rush things.
She did claim me has her’s first.
But i did kiss her first.
I love being in a relationship.
I hate not knowing what to do in one.
I hate the feeling of not knowing what i can and cannot do.
I hate being nervous.
I miss holding her.
I miss being with her.
I miss laughing with her.
I miss ploting and watching her draw.
I wish i could have some of that time.