(no subject)
the sensation of abandonment:
it's like ringing a doorbell, knowing full well there will be no answer, but you've driven so far at that point - what else do you do?
"perhaps.." you think,""well maybe they just ran up to the store real quick."
no, they did not run up to the store real quick.
you are not just outside the circle, you are now your own circle.
being one's own circle is not neccessarily a terrible fate (fate being object to constant change, mind you), however one must understand being alone, utterly and completely alone, a feeling welled up from within.
being alone and dealing with the knowledge that one has been abandoned may be startling at first and make one take on the idea that they are uncared about and worthless.
but don't worry too much, this feeling will subsibe into a dull ache in the pit of your stomach within a day or so. 'the bark is worse than the bite.' they', (meaning who?), say.
the only medicine for abandonment is learning how to say "fuck you." to the idea and sensation of abandonment. Otherwise you will wind up as bitter, cruel and uncaring as 'them.'