Life and Stuff
Sheesh, I haven't posted in ages! I guess that's what comes from being so busy with work and school and such. It's been really nice having this week off to refresh and get lots of sleep and get all the things done that don't get done when you're working 25 hours and going to school full time.
I've been thinking a lot about all kinds of stuff, too, from life plans to cosplay. For quite a while now, I've been doubting my interest in cosplay, but I kept bringing myself back to it, because I've been doing it for years, and most of my friends are involved, and it's generally been a fun thing for me. I started cosplaying at a time in my life when I needed it. It gave me a hobby, a creative outlet that kept me busy and taught me new skills. Cosplay gave me a sense of self-esteem and confidence I had never had. People thought my costume was cool? They wanted me picture? Thought I was pretty? Mind=blown. Cosplay also brought me a group of friends, a bigger group than I'd ever had, people I learned that I could actually trust, that wouldn't steal from me or lie or cheat or treat me badly. I know it sounds silly, but I'm still ridiculously happy every time I get invited to go somewhere, or to a party, or even the smallest thing; I never had very many friends, and spent a lot of my time trying as hard as possible to be invisible. The confident, friend-having, self-esteem-ful person I am today is thanks partly to the catalyst of cosplay.
But I don't think I need it anymore. I have my friends now, and I'm going to assume that they're all awesome enough to not ditch me just because I don't participate in the same hobby anymore. That confidence and self-esteem isn't going anywhere, and I fully intend to keep doing sewing projects just for fun. The same thing happened for me when I was in high school with a place called the Boiler Room. It was a volunteer run, non-profit, youth-space-coffeeshop thing. I made friends there, though many were not the best for me, and it gave me a place to be accepted, and all sorts of other things that, at the time, I needed. But eventually I had gained what I needed, and while I will always keep a place in my heart for my Boiler Room days, I don't feel the need to go back there.
So those are my thoughts on cosplay. I'm going to finish Sophitia, have a blast at Sakuracon, and then see where things go after that. There's always the chance that, once I take a full hiatus, I'll realize I want to go back, and that would be fine. But I want to make sure that I'm doing cosplay because it's fun, because I want to, not because it's a habit I've picked up over the last years.
I've been thinking a lot about all kinds of stuff, too, from life plans to cosplay. For quite a while now, I've been doubting my interest in cosplay, but I kept bringing myself back to it, because I've been doing it for years, and most of my friends are involved, and it's generally been a fun thing for me. I started cosplaying at a time in my life when I needed it. It gave me a hobby, a creative outlet that kept me busy and taught me new skills. Cosplay gave me a sense of self-esteem and confidence I had never had. People thought my costume was cool? They wanted me picture? Thought I was pretty? Mind=blown. Cosplay also brought me a group of friends, a bigger group than I'd ever had, people I learned that I could actually trust, that wouldn't steal from me or lie or cheat or treat me badly. I know it sounds silly, but I'm still ridiculously happy every time I get invited to go somewhere, or to a party, or even the smallest thing; I never had very many friends, and spent a lot of my time trying as hard as possible to be invisible. The confident, friend-having, self-esteem-ful person I am today is thanks partly to the catalyst of cosplay.
But I don't think I need it anymore. I have my friends now, and I'm going to assume that they're all awesome enough to not ditch me just because I don't participate in the same hobby anymore. That confidence and self-esteem isn't going anywhere, and I fully intend to keep doing sewing projects just for fun. The same thing happened for me when I was in high school with a place called the Boiler Room. It was a volunteer run, non-profit, youth-space-coffeeshop thing. I made friends there, though many were not the best for me, and it gave me a place to be accepted, and all sorts of other things that, at the time, I needed. But eventually I had gained what I needed, and while I will always keep a place in my heart for my Boiler Room days, I don't feel the need to go back there.
So those are my thoughts on cosplay. I'm going to finish Sophitia, have a blast at Sakuracon, and then see where things go after that. There's always the chance that, once I take a full hiatus, I'll realize I want to go back, and that would be fine. But I want to make sure that I'm doing cosplay because it's fun, because I want to, not because it's a habit I've picked up over the last years.