Trying to Sort it All Out
Everything seemed to be going well for a while between me and my Thai girlfriend. We had several fun evenings, and I noticed what seemed like heartfelt gestures of affection. A few days ago we visited her sister's house for her niece's 9th birthday. It was fun. Afterward we traveled home together and we really felt 'together'.
My new friend Eddie, however, seems absolutely convinced that she's like most Thai girls, and is cheating on me. I wouldn't say I believed him exactly, but some of his warnings stoked the fires of my distrust. So this post is about all the stuff that has happened recently.
My girlfriend says she needs space and wants to have a social life. Last week she stayed with her friend Tik -- I think for two nights. It made me feel like she didn't want to stay here with me. And I think they met with an old ex-boyfriend for dinner, but he has a new fiance, so I wasn't bothered about that.
Also, there was another incident last week where I had to be gone in the morning, and when I returned home there were *two* cups of tea left on the counter. This made me think that she invited the motorcycle guy up to our apartment while I was gone, and there is only one reason why she would do that: to fuck him. She also said that she's teaching him English. I wondered if this was the convenient excuse for bringing him inside. She claimed that it was one cup of coffee, and one of tea, but I'm certain it was two teas, and the water line was high as it would be if you filled a cup for a guest. (But then I couldn't verify and thought I could be wrong, so I just dropped it.)
This past week, my girlfriend had a work seminar on Saturday. Okay, fine. No problem. But then she said she had to work that night, after the seminar was finished. Okay, I guess. (But how do I know that's really where she went.) Then she said that she was staying at her friend Took's house overnight, because she had worked the late shift and it was too late to travel home. (Of course I have no idea what's going on.)
So the next day she had work again, and this time she wanted to stay at Fon's house (the gay girl) because...I can't remember. I think because they went out after work. Okay, fine, whatever. But this whole time she's not messaging me in Line, or calling me like she used to, and I began to wonder at the lack of communication.
Then I message her by Line yesterday and she didn't reply, and then I called also, and it *rang*, but she didn't answer. Later she just said that she turned off her data. (But then why would it ring?)
Finally, I got tired of all of these explanations, and decided to go to the area near her work in-person, to actually see what's going on. My plan was to see her after her shift and find out who she was meeting, etc. When I arrived near the Amazon cafe, I connected with her via Line, and told her that I was in the area and would meet her after work. She didn't seem happy about this, and said that she planned to meet friends after work, so I should just catch the bus and meet her at home. (This was a red flag! Right?)
But it seemed like she wasn't actually at work, so I told her that. Then she was either mad, or worried, and stopped replying to me messages. The other thing is that maybe the motorcycle guy was going to pick her up after work and drive her home.
At this point, if things would have gone according to plan, I would have waited for her at work and seen who she was with, or who was there to pick her up. But....it was dark, there were too many people around, and I didn't know what time she would leave the building. (Because sometimes she waits around afterward for friends.) So my timing was off and I didn't see her.
I also ended up waiting for over an hour for the 149 bus, which I know was operating yesterday, but I only saw one the entire day. After a long time, I finally gave up and walked to the Thong Lo BTS station. (It's a pleasant walk, and not too far, unless you're in a hurry.)
So I took the BTS to our area, and stopped at stores to look for food. By the time I arrived home it was after 10:30 p.m. and Bee was already home. She unlocked the door for me, but we didn't speak. She went to sleep, and in the morning we simply "co-existed". I don't even know if she had dinner with friends last night, or simply came home. I made coffee for her in the morning, and she gave me 500 baht because she knows I didn't have any money.
So that's the current state of affairs in our relationship.
My new friend Eddie, however, seems absolutely convinced that she's like most Thai girls, and is cheating on me. I wouldn't say I believed him exactly, but some of his warnings stoked the fires of my distrust. So this post is about all the stuff that has happened recently.
My girlfriend says she needs space and wants to have a social life. Last week she stayed with her friend Tik -- I think for two nights. It made me feel like she didn't want to stay here with me. And I think they met with an old ex-boyfriend for dinner, but he has a new fiance, so I wasn't bothered about that.
Also, there was another incident last week where I had to be gone in the morning, and when I returned home there were *two* cups of tea left on the counter. This made me think that she invited the motorcycle guy up to our apartment while I was gone, and there is only one reason why she would do that: to fuck him. She also said that she's teaching him English. I wondered if this was the convenient excuse for bringing him inside. She claimed that it was one cup of coffee, and one of tea, but I'm certain it was two teas, and the water line was high as it would be if you filled a cup for a guest. (But then I couldn't verify and thought I could be wrong, so I just dropped it.)
This past week, my girlfriend had a work seminar on Saturday. Okay, fine. No problem. But then she said she had to work that night, after the seminar was finished. Okay, I guess. (But how do I know that's really where she went.) Then she said that she was staying at her friend Took's house overnight, because she had worked the late shift and it was too late to travel home. (Of course I have no idea what's going on.)
So the next day she had work again, and this time she wanted to stay at Fon's house (the gay girl) because...I can't remember. I think because they went out after work. Okay, fine, whatever. But this whole time she's not messaging me in Line, or calling me like she used to, and I began to wonder at the lack of communication.
Then I message her by Line yesterday and she didn't reply, and then I called also, and it *rang*, but she didn't answer. Later she just said that she turned off her data. (But then why would it ring?)
Finally, I got tired of all of these explanations, and decided to go to the area near her work in-person, to actually see what's going on. My plan was to see her after her shift and find out who she was meeting, etc. When I arrived near the Amazon cafe, I connected with her via Line, and told her that I was in the area and would meet her after work. She didn't seem happy about this, and said that she planned to meet friends after work, so I should just catch the bus and meet her at home. (This was a red flag! Right?)
But it seemed like she wasn't actually at work, so I told her that. Then she was either mad, or worried, and stopped replying to me messages. The other thing is that maybe the motorcycle guy was going to pick her up after work and drive her home.
At this point, if things would have gone according to plan, I would have waited for her at work and seen who she was with, or who was there to pick her up. But....it was dark, there were too many people around, and I didn't know what time she would leave the building. (Because sometimes she waits around afterward for friends.) So my timing was off and I didn't see her.
I also ended up waiting for over an hour for the 149 bus, which I know was operating yesterday, but I only saw one the entire day. After a long time, I finally gave up and walked to the Thong Lo BTS station. (It's a pleasant walk, and not too far, unless you're in a hurry.)
So I took the BTS to our area, and stopped at stores to look for food. By the time I arrived home it was after 10:30 p.m. and Bee was already home. She unlocked the door for me, but we didn't speak. She went to sleep, and in the morning we simply "co-existed". I don't even know if she had dinner with friends last night, or simply came home. I made coffee for her in the morning, and she gave me 500 baht because she knows I didn't have any money.
So that's the current state of affairs in our relationship.