March Relationship Woes in Bangkok
I can't even remember what happened when I last posted. Here's an update, something to help clear my mind.
My girlfriend and I are still staying together -- well, at least in the same apartment. Things have been really up and down. At times it seemed like everything was going fine. Then yesterday we had a big argument, and tonight she's staying with the gay girl, Fon.
Earlier today I made a list of things my girlfriend does and doesn't do, so I could have a better overall view of this nebulous relationship.
WHAT SHE HAS DONE OR WHAT SHE DOES:
She took me to see her aunt and cousin.
She took me to see her younger sister and Ya.
She gave me money to use.
She's living with me.
She has sex with me, most of the time.
Sometimes she holds my hand. Sometimes.
Sometimes she makes dinner for me.
Sometimes she puts her arm around me in bed.
She demands that I do things for her.
She slaps me on the face when she's not happy about something. (And when I slapped her back yesterday she was surprised and *really* mad.)
WHAT SHE DOESN'T DO
She doesn't take selfies of us together, or photos of us together.
She doesn't greet me on the street when she sees me. Often she simply walks past me and ignores me. Then inside the store she might talk with me. She walks with me when we need to go somewhere together, like to catch a bus or train.
She NEVER says "Mike, I love you."
She doesn't really talk much about our future together. She doesn't talk about getting married. She doesn't talk about us living together in the USA.
She doesn't talk about having children with me.
At one time she used to have an actual girlfriend. Now she has a gay female friend at work (Fon), and a few lady-boy friends. (And the other day she told me that lady boys can't get a hard-on in the morning. How does she know that, specifically?)
Her gay friend sends messages on LINE all of the time. I'm not even sure if the gay girl knows that I'm here, or that I'm supposedly Bee's "boyfriend".
But I actually think they have a relationship. I don't know what to do about it. The obvious answer is NOTHING because there is nothing I can do.
I actually think that my girlfriend is using last night's argument as an easy excuse to stay at the gay friend's house. I caught glympses of a sly smile a couple of times when we weren't speaking to each other.
I told her cousin Ya a few things about yesterday's argument, and I also told my friend Naya. It felt good, sort of, to tell someone what's happening, but I still feel empty.
So that's what's going on...
My girlfriend and I are still staying together -- well, at least in the same apartment. Things have been really up and down. At times it seemed like everything was going fine. Then yesterday we had a big argument, and tonight she's staying with the gay girl, Fon.
Earlier today I made a list of things my girlfriend does and doesn't do, so I could have a better overall view of this nebulous relationship.
WHAT SHE HAS DONE OR WHAT SHE DOES:
She took me to see her aunt and cousin.
She took me to see her younger sister and Ya.
She gave me money to use.
She's living with me.
She has sex with me, most of the time.
Sometimes she holds my hand. Sometimes.
Sometimes she makes dinner for me.
Sometimes she puts her arm around me in bed.
She demands that I do things for her.
She slaps me on the face when she's not happy about something. (And when I slapped her back yesterday she was surprised and *really* mad.)
WHAT SHE DOESN'T DO
She doesn't take selfies of us together, or photos of us together.
She doesn't greet me on the street when she sees me. Often she simply walks past me and ignores me. Then inside the store she might talk with me. She walks with me when we need to go somewhere together, like to catch a bus or train.
She NEVER says "Mike, I love you."
She doesn't really talk much about our future together. She doesn't talk about getting married. She doesn't talk about us living together in the USA.
She doesn't talk about having children with me.
At one time she used to have an actual girlfriend. Now she has a gay female friend at work (Fon), and a few lady-boy friends. (And the other day she told me that lady boys can't get a hard-on in the morning. How does she know that, specifically?)
Her gay friend sends messages on LINE all of the time. I'm not even sure if the gay girl knows that I'm here, or that I'm supposedly Bee's "boyfriend".
But I actually think they have a relationship. I don't know what to do about it. The obvious answer is NOTHING because there is nothing I can do.
I actually think that my girlfriend is using last night's argument as an easy excuse to stay at the gay friend's house. I caught glympses of a sly smile a couple of times when we weren't speaking to each other.
I told her cousin Ya a few things about yesterday's argument, and I also told my friend Naya. It felt good, sort of, to tell someone what's happening, but I still feel empty.
So that's what's going on...