30 weeks

[nebe]

when he was arrested
kidnapping
misdemeanor
felony
rape
held
extradited
arraigned
bailed
bound over
continued

i became overpoured by
fear court fury stalking phone calls questions anger dispatch convinced police mayhem lawyers anger fear
district attorney victim's advocate misdemeanor felony law
fear
rules privilege caution quiet silence
humiliation desperation consulting silence
anger
interviews questions fear abandonment questions recklessness fear
illness
questions
blackness
loss
bitter
lonesome questions alone
alone
lone
nothing.

in January
I thought: "it happened. i have finally hit bottom."

but; now,
it just

keeps

going,
on