Nebuchadnezzar - The Interview
I was recently interviewed by the incomperable fred_smith and here is the transcript of this groundbreaking conversation.
1. What have you been up to between your "death" back in ancient Babylon
and getting a job at Arby's?
First I want to thank all of my new friends for allowing me to finally be myself, if only in cyberspace.
After faking my own death in 561 B.C., I travelled throughout the world looking for adventure. I bounced around from place to place. I spent some time in Rome taking care of the lions in the Coliseum and had to leave when I accidentally set fire to the city. I lived in India for a while until the rats got on my nerves. I stayed for a number of years in France and was a close friend to Louis XVI until he lost his head. From there I made my way to the New World and opened a printing shop in Boston. I was doing well until that bastard Ben Franklin pushed me out of business. I travelled west during the Gold Rush and made enough money selling tools to the miners that I could afford to go back to Babylon (Iraq) but it sucked. I went to Africa and picked up a few lions and came back to America. I've been keeping out of sight until I can figure out a way to return to glory. My first step is to get the Night Shift Manager job at Arby's.
2. You spent a lot of time building your capital city, and a lot of time
at war destroying cities. Which did you prefer?
Building! I love building things so much I still play with Legos! Destroying is fun, but only for a short time. You can only destroy a city so much. But, when you build a palace or a city, you can add on and keep going and going!
3. How do you feel about the people who led Babylon after you?
Everything was ok until Belshazzar came to the throne. This dude was wierd. He would spend months out in the desert for no reason. But it was his religion that split the empire in two. This, of course, allowed Cyrus of Persia to conquer my beloved Babylon. It was so heartbreaking that I have only returned to my homeland once since then.
4. If this isn't too much of a personal question, what was your time as
a sub-human raving lunatic really like?
To be honest, I don't remember much of it. I remember eating grass and humping a few sheep (for which I am sorry). It was scary and difficult to talk about.
5. Do you still see the future in dreams? If so, what should we expect
in the next few decades?
Not so much anymore. Every once in a while, I'll have one that will come true (like the Angels wining the World Series) but nothing major. I did have a few dreams that, if they come true, seem to indicate that we will all be the slaves of an alien race of squid-like creatures in or around the year 2093. I think the dream was just caused by some bad Mexican food, though.
I hope you have learned something.
1. What have you been up to between your "death" back in ancient Babylon
and getting a job at Arby's?
First I want to thank all of my new friends for allowing me to finally be myself, if only in cyberspace.
After faking my own death in 561 B.C., I travelled throughout the world looking for adventure. I bounced around from place to place. I spent some time in Rome taking care of the lions in the Coliseum and had to leave when I accidentally set fire to the city. I lived in India for a while until the rats got on my nerves. I stayed for a number of years in France and was a close friend to Louis XVI until he lost his head. From there I made my way to the New World and opened a printing shop in Boston. I was doing well until that bastard Ben Franklin pushed me out of business. I travelled west during the Gold Rush and made enough money selling tools to the miners that I could afford to go back to Babylon (Iraq) but it sucked. I went to Africa and picked up a few lions and came back to America. I've been keeping out of sight until I can figure out a way to return to glory. My first step is to get the Night Shift Manager job at Arby's.
2. You spent a lot of time building your capital city, and a lot of time
at war destroying cities. Which did you prefer?
Building! I love building things so much I still play with Legos! Destroying is fun, but only for a short time. You can only destroy a city so much. But, when you build a palace or a city, you can add on and keep going and going!
3. How do you feel about the people who led Babylon after you?
Everything was ok until Belshazzar came to the throne. This dude was wierd. He would spend months out in the desert for no reason. But it was his religion that split the empire in two. This, of course, allowed Cyrus of Persia to conquer my beloved Babylon. It was so heartbreaking that I have only returned to my homeland once since then.
4. If this isn't too much of a personal question, what was your time as
a sub-human raving lunatic really like?
To be honest, I don't remember much of it. I remember eating grass and humping a few sheep (for which I am sorry). It was scary and difficult to talk about.
5. Do you still see the future in dreams? If so, what should we expect
in the next few decades?
Not so much anymore. Every once in a while, I'll have one that will come true (like the Angels wining the World Series) but nothing major. I did have a few dreams that, if they come true, seem to indicate that we will all be the slaves of an alien race of squid-like creatures in or around the year 2093. I think the dream was just caused by some bad Mexican food, though.
I hope you have learned something.