Day of Remembering and Healing
Not many people know this but December 8th my daughter Francesca would have been 19 years old had she lived longer than 37 minutes in my arms.
So today is always a day of healing and remembering for me, not remembering the difficult birth and passing over but remembering all the things we would have been doing together if Francesca was here with me now.
Doreen was the one who'd I would speak openly about my daughter, never before had I been able to do that but when we met we hit it off immediately and all the fabulous stories Doreen would share with me I felt I could tell her anything.
Now my dear sweet mother figure of a friend is in hospital fighting for her life. I was fortunate enough to visit with her for a while before we left the north east, I feel sad I am not there with her and helping but I know she would insist that I sit with my own children instead and concentrate on them. Emotionally though my thoughts are very much with Doreen right now, she fell off the bed after dozing off waiting for the commode to be brought to her for three hours, her face has bruises, I wrote out a draft letter of complaint for her daughter to send in to the department head, gave her the phone number of Linda the solicitor I used to have when I lived in that area of the north east and wrote out everything she had to say on the telephone to forge a complaint about her mother's care, she hasnt called or gone in even.
David a close family friend of theirs who we love as well, I just finished chatting with him tonight, he is going in tomorrow and is going to ask Doreen if she wants me to handle the complaint and make sure her care team are actually caring for her, the family seem to be of the mind where they are waiting for her to die like talking about her belongings and everything, she's not dead yet and I suspect will hang on for a considerable time to come, she still has most of her wits about her and can raise a giggle as well. Plenty of life left in Doreen to come ...... I really do not understand why they are behaving this way.
So I've given David advice about the will making sure Doreen has filed it properly because she told David and Me that she wants her house to be sold and the money split up amongst her family, he doesnt think she's written this down so he's going to ask her. Otherwise they will end up fighting over it after she has gone and she really would not like that at all, she loves them all so much.
Its difficult, difficult to put into words how I really feel about Doreen falling out off the bed like that then seeing a photo of her face online, I feel angry firstly, even more angry that no one has done anything about it yet, it happened three days ago.
I can only hope and meditate on it that things will be ok and turn out in a way I know Doreen would want them to be. Nothing major needs to happen just someone speaking with the hospital staff to make them aware that people actually do care and are not simply waiting for her to die.
Now I am gong to light my candles and meditate for a bit, Lionel had no where to sleep tonight but Joseph and I contacted his friend and his father paid for a taxi for him to go to their home for the night and maybe until he comes here on the 19th. Its not long now, a real credit to him is that his work has been of a very good standard but all this sleeping outside in the harsh northern winter is not good and is soul destroying for me as well.
So today is always a day of healing and remembering for me, not remembering the difficult birth and passing over but remembering all the things we would have been doing together if Francesca was here with me now.
Doreen was the one who'd I would speak openly about my daughter, never before had I been able to do that but when we met we hit it off immediately and all the fabulous stories Doreen would share with me I felt I could tell her anything.
Now my dear sweet mother figure of a friend is in hospital fighting for her life. I was fortunate enough to visit with her for a while before we left the north east, I feel sad I am not there with her and helping but I know she would insist that I sit with my own children instead and concentrate on them. Emotionally though my thoughts are very much with Doreen right now, she fell off the bed after dozing off waiting for the commode to be brought to her for three hours, her face has bruises, I wrote out a draft letter of complaint for her daughter to send in to the department head, gave her the phone number of Linda the solicitor I used to have when I lived in that area of the north east and wrote out everything she had to say on the telephone to forge a complaint about her mother's care, she hasnt called or gone in even.
David a close family friend of theirs who we love as well, I just finished chatting with him tonight, he is going in tomorrow and is going to ask Doreen if she wants me to handle the complaint and make sure her care team are actually caring for her, the family seem to be of the mind where they are waiting for her to die like talking about her belongings and everything, she's not dead yet and I suspect will hang on for a considerable time to come, she still has most of her wits about her and can raise a giggle as well. Plenty of life left in Doreen to come ...... I really do not understand why they are behaving this way.
So I've given David advice about the will making sure Doreen has filed it properly because she told David and Me that she wants her house to be sold and the money split up amongst her family, he doesnt think she's written this down so he's going to ask her. Otherwise they will end up fighting over it after she has gone and she really would not like that at all, she loves them all so much.
Its difficult, difficult to put into words how I really feel about Doreen falling out off the bed like that then seeing a photo of her face online, I feel angry firstly, even more angry that no one has done anything about it yet, it happened three days ago.
I can only hope and meditate on it that things will be ok and turn out in a way I know Doreen would want them to be. Nothing major needs to happen just someone speaking with the hospital staff to make them aware that people actually do care and are not simply waiting for her to die.
Now I am gong to light my candles and meditate for a bit, Lionel had no where to sleep tonight but Joseph and I contacted his friend and his father paid for a taxi for him to go to their home for the night and maybe until he comes here on the 19th. Its not long now, a real credit to him is that his work has been of a very good standard but all this sleeping outside in the harsh northern winter is not good and is soul destroying for me as well.