Life In the Raw
Still feeling a little raw after receiving an email from my mother on Sunday morning, it came from out of nowhere but hasnt knocked me sideways or anything like that I just hate that she feels she can pop up into my family anytime she feels like, causes maximum upset then disappears again. I havent answered the email and have no plans to. Its just hurtful that is all.
House news, the top half of the downstairs hallway is nearly all white now, hubby has been undercoating with white emulsion where ever and when ever he can, the lounge too, nice and bright covering the horrid wallpaper patterns.
Harvey's bedroom is completely stripped except for one small part which is next to the en suite toilet. I finally managed to win him a train bed from ebay yesterday, its up in his room now but the mattress we had doesnt fit its way too big so this morning I am up searching for one so he can sleep in his bed. Imogen made him a mattress den type thing yesterday night with all the sofa cushions which he absolutely loved, he came into our room and said to me "I love you Mummy, just want to snuggle for four minutes then I am getting into my train bed" so up he climbed next thing I knew was hubby was getting into bed with us where we'd both fallen asleep wrapped around each other. I do so love our little snuggles.
this is the same bed that Harvey now has, its the Little Tikes Thomas The Tank Engine Bed
I won this for £50 and it was only about fifteen minutes by car to collect it, result!
I had been trying to win this same bed since last Monday when our internet was connected but lost out on the first eight because I did not want to go over £100 to get one. Couldnt believe when I got this one yesterday afternoon, Harvey absolutely loves it, his giggling face, bursting with excitement right through his entire body, made everything worth all the effort, endless searching for one and missing out the first few times.
Had loads of giggles talking with Lionel via video chat last night before taking Harvey upstairs, we were chatting away then suddenly and for no apparent reason I started shaking my head and making faces at him, he tried so hard not to burst out laughing but couldnt contain himself which resulted in Ivan falling about in hysterics, Angelica too, we all were just laughing our heads off together for ages making funny faces seeing which funny movements the screen would freeze on because it wasnt such a good connection, it was really nice. Lionel said he was missing my cooking, he mentioned all the things he wished he could eat now, most of which I have cooked within the last week, I felt bad but at least it gives him something to look forward to.
Never allowing the kids weapons as toys, initially I got very excited when Ivan was invited along to do fencing, archery and rifle shooting for the day next week, he will get a scouting badge at the end of the day, then yesterday I started having reservations but after chatting with him about it all I think its the right thing to do letting him go, he seems happy with the arrangements and looking forward to it now.
Still no reply from the housing from the official sounding letter I sent in last Monday. The housing officer would have received it by Monday 26th or Tuesday 27th at the very latest. The radiator in Angelica's room still hasnt been repaired, the crack in the downstairs toilet and now there are two more repairs we will phone about today, the upstairs toilet has developed a steady dripping from the side back pipe and the overflow from the house is pouring out outside the downstairs wet room which appears to be coming from behind Harvey's bedroom en suite toilet.
I had to wake Joseph up at 6am today because luckily I came down to grab a drink and spotted he'd forgotten to put the bins out, the bin truck will be here shortly it comes around 7am. I hate that there are no wheelie bins here, you just put the black bags out for when the truck is due to arrive. Animals come and rip them open every single time all the way up and down the street and for a road of over 240 houses, that is a lot of rubbish blowing about.
Other things I need to do today are, reporting the repairs which I already mentioned, sorting something out for dinner as Angelica cooked yesterday her cottage pie, roast potatoes and peas, finding some different clothing to wear as I'm getting sick of leggings and t-shirts of the black, navy and lilac variety, loom knit some more squares for the secret uni project, finish spinning the mysterions second single and generally allow my body to catch up with me again.
Yesterday, try as I did my body just wouldnt allow me to do anything, sitting hurt, standing hurt, laying down gave some relief, walking made me feel like I was going to fall and trying avidly to be part of the main household saw me failing dismally so I gave up mid afternoon and went upstairs where I remained until about 7pm came down for dinner then after chatting with Lionel went back up there again.
This morning I do feel brighter, just sad on the inside because of my other family after mother's email on Sunday. In my head I know I have always done exactly the right thing being away from them all saving myself from abuse and heartache but inside I still feel emotional about it all and it hurts a bit still if I think about them especially my cousins and brothers, but then I get angry thinking about them because they've done nothing to show they care about me at all so then I think get lost I'm better off then I start to feel sad again in like a mourning kind of way. Mixed up, jumbled and confusing, pretty much sums up the emotional side of saving ones self from sexual, physical and emotional abuse. I emerged from that family and yet I couldnt be more different in every conceivable way including looks, that hurts as well the way I never was part of them, not really.
Anyway enough about all that, today I am planning on doing a bit of spinning, the second single is almost finished, I split and drafted the last of the mysterions second batt yesterday morning to get it ready for when my body would let me spin with Julius again. I am so looking forward to that and a film of some kind in the background whilst I sit there relaxed and hand spinning away the afternoon.
Cant quite believe we've been here a full three weeks now, this time 21 days ago I was sitting down in the other lounge with a sleeping Harvey on my lap waiting for the vans to be emptied wondering what the day would bring. Its a truly amazing house, definitely one of the best things we've done together, still cant quite believe we are here in this relatively stress free environment, the kids seem really settled already and happy which is the main thing, Ivan, its especially nice to see him smiling again it really is, was worried about him so much in our old house but here he has a real chance of making friends and growing into what ever he wants to be. Cant really ask for more than that for him.
House news, the top half of the downstairs hallway is nearly all white now, hubby has been undercoating with white emulsion where ever and when ever he can, the lounge too, nice and bright covering the horrid wallpaper patterns.
Harvey's bedroom is completely stripped except for one small part which is next to the en suite toilet. I finally managed to win him a train bed from ebay yesterday, its up in his room now but the mattress we had doesnt fit its way too big so this morning I am up searching for one so he can sleep in his bed. Imogen made him a mattress den type thing yesterday night with all the sofa cushions which he absolutely loved, he came into our room and said to me "I love you Mummy, just want to snuggle for four minutes then I am getting into my train bed" so up he climbed next thing I knew was hubby was getting into bed with us where we'd both fallen asleep wrapped around each other. I do so love our little snuggles.
this is the same bed that Harvey now has, its the Little Tikes Thomas The Tank Engine Bed
I won this for £50 and it was only about fifteen minutes by car to collect it, result!
I had been trying to win this same bed since last Monday when our internet was connected but lost out on the first eight because I did not want to go over £100 to get one. Couldnt believe when I got this one yesterday afternoon, Harvey absolutely loves it, his giggling face, bursting with excitement right through his entire body, made everything worth all the effort, endless searching for one and missing out the first few times.
Had loads of giggles talking with Lionel via video chat last night before taking Harvey upstairs, we were chatting away then suddenly and for no apparent reason I started shaking my head and making faces at him, he tried so hard not to burst out laughing but couldnt contain himself which resulted in Ivan falling about in hysterics, Angelica too, we all were just laughing our heads off together for ages making funny faces seeing which funny movements the screen would freeze on because it wasnt such a good connection, it was really nice. Lionel said he was missing my cooking, he mentioned all the things he wished he could eat now, most of which I have cooked within the last week, I felt bad but at least it gives him something to look forward to.
Never allowing the kids weapons as toys, initially I got very excited when Ivan was invited along to do fencing, archery and rifle shooting for the day next week, he will get a scouting badge at the end of the day, then yesterday I started having reservations but after chatting with him about it all I think its the right thing to do letting him go, he seems happy with the arrangements and looking forward to it now.
Still no reply from the housing from the official sounding letter I sent in last Monday. The housing officer would have received it by Monday 26th or Tuesday 27th at the very latest. The radiator in Angelica's room still hasnt been repaired, the crack in the downstairs toilet and now there are two more repairs we will phone about today, the upstairs toilet has developed a steady dripping from the side back pipe and the overflow from the house is pouring out outside the downstairs wet room which appears to be coming from behind Harvey's bedroom en suite toilet.
I had to wake Joseph up at 6am today because luckily I came down to grab a drink and spotted he'd forgotten to put the bins out, the bin truck will be here shortly it comes around 7am. I hate that there are no wheelie bins here, you just put the black bags out for when the truck is due to arrive. Animals come and rip them open every single time all the way up and down the street and for a road of over 240 houses, that is a lot of rubbish blowing about.
Other things I need to do today are, reporting the repairs which I already mentioned, sorting something out for dinner as Angelica cooked yesterday her cottage pie, roast potatoes and peas, finding some different clothing to wear as I'm getting sick of leggings and t-shirts of the black, navy and lilac variety, loom knit some more squares for the secret uni project, finish spinning the mysterions second single and generally allow my body to catch up with me again.
Yesterday, try as I did my body just wouldnt allow me to do anything, sitting hurt, standing hurt, laying down gave some relief, walking made me feel like I was going to fall and trying avidly to be part of the main household saw me failing dismally so I gave up mid afternoon and went upstairs where I remained until about 7pm came down for dinner then after chatting with Lionel went back up there again.
This morning I do feel brighter, just sad on the inside because of my other family after mother's email on Sunday. In my head I know I have always done exactly the right thing being away from them all saving myself from abuse and heartache but inside I still feel emotional about it all and it hurts a bit still if I think about them especially my cousins and brothers, but then I get angry thinking about them because they've done nothing to show they care about me at all so then I think get lost I'm better off then I start to feel sad again in like a mourning kind of way. Mixed up, jumbled and confusing, pretty much sums up the emotional side of saving ones self from sexual, physical and emotional abuse. I emerged from that family and yet I couldnt be more different in every conceivable way including looks, that hurts as well the way I never was part of them, not really.
Anyway enough about all that, today I am planning on doing a bit of spinning, the second single is almost finished, I split and drafted the last of the mysterions second batt yesterday morning to get it ready for when my body would let me spin with Julius again. I am so looking forward to that and a film of some kind in the background whilst I sit there relaxed and hand spinning away the afternoon.
Cant quite believe we've been here a full three weeks now, this time 21 days ago I was sitting down in the other lounge with a sleeping Harvey on my lap waiting for the vans to be emptied wondering what the day would bring. Its a truly amazing house, definitely one of the best things we've done together, still cant quite believe we are here in this relatively stress free environment, the kids seem really settled already and happy which is the main thing, Ivan, its especially nice to see him smiling again it really is, was worried about him so much in our old house but here he has a real chance of making friends and growing into what ever he wants to be. Cant really ask for more than that for him.