if nothing else, i'll leave the world some songs that speak from the soul
i'm angsty tonight! yikes. this doesn't happen much anymore.
so tennessee with brad and family was lovely. we went hay-riding/pumpkin picking and go-carting and to church and the great american steakhouse and cracker barrel and drove around the mountains, finding bizarre tourist traps amidst nothingness, and his grandma said i looked like royalty (!) and i ate too much fried food and key lime pie and drank too much wine and sat around too much on his couch, watching tv and spastic yet charming old home videos and feeling blissfully at home in his arms. and his siblings like me (which seems to often be the real test), so i think i've passed.
anyway, recently i've been busy and scrambling around since and i have shitloads of work due continuously over the next couple of weeks. tonight brad and i got delicious fast, cheap cuban food in the heights (i need to figure out the name of the place and recommend it to houston people, it was really fantastic) and then to a free screening of a bauhaus documentary at the menil collection. it was beautiful outside, and we sat on the grass on a blanket as the sun went down and were surrounded by parents and hipsters alike and it became apparent to me how much i really adore paul klee's work. next time we'll bring a picnic, or at least wine, because i think that really would've made the evening complete.
so i came back here, and the combination of realizing i have so much work and finding my room closed and locked with mausami and rick napping inside, yet not answering my knocks or calls, put me in a sour mood. i find it frustrating that as hard as i try, i can't convince my best friend to figure out her relationship situation, thus leaving herself and the rest of us in a state of constant confusion (and often unspoken discourse) because no one really knows how to react to things she says or does with him. and i know it's not really my business, but i become forced to intervene when i'm confronted with specific scenarios every day (virtually every waking hour), and endlessly approached by others with inquiries and complaints. and i still love her, but sometimes it's so obnoxious! clearly, something needs to be done. and i hate talking about her behind her back, but i can't contain myself. ick. and this really has no significance to anyone else reading this, oops.
so now i'm "studying," and emily is at studio and maus is "reading" with rick (whatever) and ilse is talking to drew and brad is at south beach and will probably come back wasted, though all i want to do is curl up with him and be silly and loved. maybe i'll go take a walk, because i feel sloth-like and don't want to eat and was hung over all day and don't want to drink. i've had a really bizarre relationship with food recently, i can't really figure it out. it is constantly appealing, yet when i consume it i feel repulsive.
it's cooling off in houston and sometimes feels uncannily like home when i step outside. i was homesick for the first time this year a couple days ago and have since been having short, painful cravings for things like home-cooked meals and real talks with my sisters and driving across lake washington and pantries devoid of anything besides nutritious, organic foods. i've been at shepherd for at least 8 hours a day (counting classes), and have an average practice time of probably a little more than four hours per day, yet i can't tell if i'm really significantly improving or just sitting in a room by myself and wasting my time. i haven't talked to christine for ages, though she's suddenly dating one of my best friends from last year. i still can't get over how beautiful our suite common room looks.
blackalicious came on shuffle, that's my cue to read physics and study for linguistics. it could be a shittier saturday night.
so tennessee with brad and family was lovely. we went hay-riding/pumpkin picking and go-carting and to church and the great american steakhouse and cracker barrel and drove around the mountains, finding bizarre tourist traps amidst nothingness, and his grandma said i looked like royalty (!) and i ate too much fried food and key lime pie and drank too much wine and sat around too much on his couch, watching tv and spastic yet charming old home videos and feeling blissfully at home in his arms. and his siblings like me (which seems to often be the real test), so i think i've passed.
anyway, recently i've been busy and scrambling around since and i have shitloads of work due continuously over the next couple of weeks. tonight brad and i got delicious fast, cheap cuban food in the heights (i need to figure out the name of the place and recommend it to houston people, it was really fantastic) and then to a free screening of a bauhaus documentary at the menil collection. it was beautiful outside, and we sat on the grass on a blanket as the sun went down and were surrounded by parents and hipsters alike and it became apparent to me how much i really adore paul klee's work. next time we'll bring a picnic, or at least wine, because i think that really would've made the evening complete.
so i came back here, and the combination of realizing i have so much work and finding my room closed and locked with mausami and rick napping inside, yet not answering my knocks or calls, put me in a sour mood. i find it frustrating that as hard as i try, i can't convince my best friend to figure out her relationship situation, thus leaving herself and the rest of us in a state of constant confusion (and often unspoken discourse) because no one really knows how to react to things she says or does with him. and i know it's not really my business, but i become forced to intervene when i'm confronted with specific scenarios every day (virtually every waking hour), and endlessly approached by others with inquiries and complaints. and i still love her, but sometimes it's so obnoxious! clearly, something needs to be done. and i hate talking about her behind her back, but i can't contain myself. ick. and this really has no significance to anyone else reading this, oops.
so now i'm "studying," and emily is at studio and maus is "reading" with rick (whatever) and ilse is talking to drew and brad is at south beach and will probably come back wasted, though all i want to do is curl up with him and be silly and loved. maybe i'll go take a walk, because i feel sloth-like and don't want to eat and was hung over all day and don't want to drink. i've had a really bizarre relationship with food recently, i can't really figure it out. it is constantly appealing, yet when i consume it i feel repulsive.
it's cooling off in houston and sometimes feels uncannily like home when i step outside. i was homesick for the first time this year a couple days ago and have since been having short, painful cravings for things like home-cooked meals and real talks with my sisters and driving across lake washington and pantries devoid of anything besides nutritious, organic foods. i've been at shepherd for at least 8 hours a day (counting classes), and have an average practice time of probably a little more than four hours per day, yet i can't tell if i'm really significantly improving or just sitting in a room by myself and wasting my time. i haven't talked to christine for ages, though she's suddenly dating one of my best friends from last year. i still can't get over how beautiful our suite common room looks.
blackalicious came on shuffle, that's my cue to read physics and study for linguistics. it could be a shittier saturday night.