(no subject)
arcade fire: haiti
bob dylan: tangled up in blue
gomez: these 3 sins
the cure: just say yes (acoustic version)
sufjan stevens: they are night zombies!... or anything off illinois
talking heads: road to nowhere
colin hay: waiting for my real life to begin
i tag: anyone who feels like it. seven songs you're into right now, can't stop listening to, etc. for me, these are the ones i find myself playing over and over again. they provide the utmost amount of comfort.
- - -
so i’m in maine, playing a lot of piano, and i’ve had a lot of time to think recently. that, and watch too much sex and the city. i think my addiction to the show is actually beginning to rise to a dangerously unhealthy level.
i’ve also been reading a lot (while lying in the sun wearing as little as possible), which is so refreshing; i’d forgotten how satisfying it is to finish a really good book. i completed ‘a heartbreaking work of staggering genius’ and then ‘a million little pieces,’ the former an excellent recommendation by sean (this is moderately tardy, but thanks!) and the latter read mostly out of curiosity about the whole james frey controversy, and the fact that my roommate here is completely obsessed with the book. i thought it was brutal and horrible and disgusting, it parts, but powerful and beautifully written (despite all fabrication) and once i started reading i couldn’t stop. my roommate here dated a boy all year who was a drug dealer and recovering coke addict and is now relapsing, so the subject matter struck close to home. i really like my rooommate a lot, she’s a total violin genius - going to juilliard next year - but owns more band t-shirts then me, shops online constantly and has 9872345 perfect handbags, sneaks cigarettes and is sort of angsty and overdramatic. ha! i think i’d go crazy without her to remind me that there’s more to life than sitting in your practice room and knowing the opus numbers to every fucking beethoven sonata that exists.
so, 6 more days in maine, and then i’m in new york! the brad situation has been resolved, and i’m thrilled when i think about it and glowing when i think about him.
so: hooray. this weekend i ate maine lobster for the first time ever (SO delicious, though i’m lazy and i hate having to work for my food), practiced a little/a lot (depending on what your standards are), bought a perfect sweater from banana republic and shoes from nine west that i can’t decide if i adore enough to keep, got asked to coffee by the sweetest violist ever, stuffed myself on sublime blueberry soft-serve frozen yogurt, slept in and watched gilmore and thought a lot about people, a certain one or two in particular. oh, and a girl told me i look exactly like scarlett johannson, which i think is hilarious. this follows the three separate ashlee simpson comments i’ve gotten over the past few months.
anyway, all is good here. i was bored and felt suffocated for awhile, but i’m getting over it. my teacher is unbelievable and my chamber group performed the dvorak piano quintet last week and it was exhilarating and satisfying and afterward, my chamber coach said ‘you know you should really go to juilliard, that seems like the right place for you.’ and sarah told me how graceful and fabulous i looked at the piano, which in my opinion is an excellent compliment. it’s really good to hear things like this, especially amongst this sea of perfect pianists, because i inevitably start asking the question: what am i really doing here? there are thousands of other young musicians battling for everything i want, most of which are more technically flawless and better prepared than i. sometimes, the situation seems so dire that i start wondering if i even belong in this career path (my intense love for music notwithstanding), whether i really want it enough, if i’m the ‘right type.’ because i seem to defy all musician stereotypes! anyway.
i need to sleep, and drink beer, badly. i’m like a phenomena here, some sort of bizarre species -- everyone else is small and asian and studious and perfect and i swear and talk loudly and blast non-classical music from my shitty computer speakers and crave drinks constantly and look sort of alternative, i guess, haha. i do get a lot of strange looks. but people are generally friendly, so i suppose that’s a good sign.
:)