(no subject)
oh yeah, that's me again, forgetting to refrain from showing emotion, or that so often my lack of choice for moving forward is misconstrued for some type of strength. what a word. i used to feel so much strength. it's all but bone dry by now but sometimes it feels like it was a facade all along. strength meant a cold heart, carelessness, weightlessness.
so what now? do i stop giving weight? do i stop loving every single thing that i find it so easy to hold on to because of the inevitable high probability that i will one day feel its absence? sometimes maybe i don't have the right. reciprocation is what holds it all together, why does that feel missing now? i see old friends and it reminds me of the connections that i used to make so frequently, easily, like all i had to do was get going and i would just be encircled by things that lifted me up, and things that truly made sense and felt right in my heart.
i lie across the path waiting
just for a chance to be
a spiderweb
trapped in your lashes
for that
i would trade you my empire for ashes
but i choke it back
how much i need love
so what now? do i stop giving weight? do i stop loving every single thing that i find it so easy to hold on to because of the inevitable high probability that i will one day feel its absence? sometimes maybe i don't have the right. reciprocation is what holds it all together, why does that feel missing now? i see old friends and it reminds me of the connections that i used to make so frequently, easily, like all i had to do was get going and i would just be encircled by things that lifted me up, and things that truly made sense and felt right in my heart.
i lie across the path waiting
just for a chance to be
a spiderweb
trapped in your lashes
for that
i would trade you my empire for ashes
but i choke it back
how much i need love