[FIC] Perfect
Title: Perfect
Fandom/Pairing: Arashi/ShoJun
Rating: PG
Notes: aaa finally i'm here. i had such a fun time writing this, and i am thankful for all those who read and commented. i did my best, and i am hoping you liked how it turned out!
no beta; not mine. :(
one. two. three. four. five.
It's not like Jun was scared of dying. He has grown a bit detached to most things; living life for the sake of living, but never having a reason to wake up each new day. As ironic as it may seem, Jun only looked forward to each day to each day after Sho entered the picture. Jun thought that it was unfair.
The same guy who had him so excited for the next day was the one who told him that his next day might be his last.
--
Even if he told himself that maybe dying is okay, that things would be for the better, he just found a part of him completely hating it though. Maybe it was human nature, to want to live; to want to survive. Jun was still human and was obviously not spared from these feelings. He confronted Sho because he was so disturbed by what he said.
"What do you mean I'm going to die soon?"
"Exactly that. You're going to die soon."
"Then what was all that crap about protecting me from harm? Why can't you protect me now?"
Sho quickly averted his eyes and didn't give a proper answer.
--
He is more careful than usual. He took safety measures seriously and was very careful on the road. His diet was mapped out perfectly for the past few years and he made it just a tad stricter by enforcing more healthy meals. During site inspections, he always had a hard hat on, and was careful not to interfere when construction was in progress.
In the end, he didn't want to die yet.
--
"Hey, I think you made a mistake here."
Jun liked this place. It was cozy but not too cramped; accomodating but somehow elite; comfortable but not too boring. He whipped out his just-pocketed receipt and showed it to his grocer, who was looking over the cash register before finally looking at Jun.
"Where?" the guy introduced himself as Ohno, and it was his easy going and laid back attitude that had Jun coming back here regularly.
"Here. I only bought two packs of carrots, not three."
"Oh," Ohno checked Jun's grocery bag and made ammendments. "Sorry, here's your change."
"Yeah, thanks." taking the bills and coins, Jun stuffed them in his pocket. "Hey, Ohno-san, what would you do if you know you're going to die soon?"
Ohno ran a hand through his short ebony hair and then shrugged.
"I'll start living."
--
Life. Death. What did it mean to Jun? What should it mean to Jun? He's viewed life as a game, more often than not. It presented a challenge; he accepted it and he had to win. That was how he ended up in a decent college and in a comfortable job. When the challenges stopped coming, Jun saw life as a cycle. Rise, eat, work, eat, sleep. It was the same things all over again and Jun felt like he was doing all these things unconsciously. After seeing life as a repetitive cycle, he started to feel meaningless. Why was he doing the same things all over again? Why couldn't he stop doing it?
On the other hand, death was something foreign to Jun. He was too busy figuring life out to care about death.
--
"Is that why you came? Because I'm going to die?"
"I-in a way."
"Tell me the truth."
"I can't--and I won't--lie to you, Jun. You were supposed to have died several weeks ago but--"
"Then why am I still here?"
"I didn't want you to die yet."
"So you came here to stop me from dying?"
"I did my best. We both did our best to hold out this long. But death is inevitable and yours will come soon. I wanted to give you more time. I wanted to prolong your life, and I guess this is as far as I can go. I'm sorry."
"Why did you do it?"
"You don't deserve to die without knowing what life is, Jun."
--
Telling other people about your death was a topic anyone would've wanted to avoid and Jun was no different. But since he was lucky enough to know that his time will be up soon, he made discreet preparations.
For his first step, he quit his job. All his ongoing projects were passed on to other engineers so smoothly that Jun felt that someone was lending him a helping hand. He then wrote a letter to his parents, as well as to his sister, asking them how they've been. His apartment was slowly being cleaned up.
He thought that for someone who was going to die soon, he sure felt lively.
"Do you want me to leave?" Sho asked, while Jun was putting his things in neat boxes to be shipped to his parents back in his hometown.
"No. I like you here."
"You do?"
Jun looked up from the cardboard box and met Sho's eyes. "Yeah, I do."
"Are you really okay with dying?"
Asking Jun about it so suddenly must mean Sho thought that he was.
"Yeah, I am. I had a good life. I have a great guardian angle and I don't think I can ask for more."
Sho smiled warmly at him. Jun felt his cheeks heat up slightly and he smiled back.
--
Jun got involved in a car accident. His front bumper was crushed and he bumped his head hard against his window from the impact. For some moments, Jun stayed conscious, as unknown people took him out of his now destroyed car and into an ambulance.
He struggled to stay awake as he was rushed into the emergency room, but by now he's lost too much blood and the horrible gash on his head was feeling pretty fatal to him. While all this is happening, the only thought that ran through his head was "It's time, it's time." and he almost didn't fight it.
All the while, he could see Sho. Blending in with the doctors' and nurses' white clothes, but somehow looking warmer and more alive than anyone else in the room. When he could finally feel his body giving up, he saw Sho, saying in that calm way he's used throughout all this, "I'll be waiting."
Jun smiled, closed his eyes and whispered, "I'll see you there."
--end
Fandom/Pairing: Arashi/ShoJun
Rating: PG
Notes: aaa finally i'm here. i had such a fun time writing this, and i am thankful for all those who read and commented. i did my best, and i am hoping you liked how it turned out!
no beta; not mine. :(
one. two. three. four. five.
It's not like Jun was scared of dying. He has grown a bit detached to most things; living life for the sake of living, but never having a reason to wake up each new day. As ironic as it may seem, Jun only looked forward to each day to each day after Sho entered the picture. Jun thought that it was unfair.
The same guy who had him so excited for the next day was the one who told him that his next day might be his last.
--
Even if he told himself that maybe dying is okay, that things would be for the better, he just found a part of him completely hating it though. Maybe it was human nature, to want to live; to want to survive. Jun was still human and was obviously not spared from these feelings. He confronted Sho because he was so disturbed by what he said.
"What do you mean I'm going to die soon?"
"Exactly that. You're going to die soon."
"Then what was all that crap about protecting me from harm? Why can't you protect me now?"
Sho quickly averted his eyes and didn't give a proper answer.
--
He is more careful than usual. He took safety measures seriously and was very careful on the road. His diet was mapped out perfectly for the past few years and he made it just a tad stricter by enforcing more healthy meals. During site inspections, he always had a hard hat on, and was careful not to interfere when construction was in progress.
In the end, he didn't want to die yet.
--
"Hey, I think you made a mistake here."
Jun liked this place. It was cozy but not too cramped; accomodating but somehow elite; comfortable but not too boring. He whipped out his just-pocketed receipt and showed it to his grocer, who was looking over the cash register before finally looking at Jun.
"Where?" the guy introduced himself as Ohno, and it was his easy going and laid back attitude that had Jun coming back here regularly.
"Here. I only bought two packs of carrots, not three."
"Oh," Ohno checked Jun's grocery bag and made ammendments. "Sorry, here's your change."
"Yeah, thanks." taking the bills and coins, Jun stuffed them in his pocket. "Hey, Ohno-san, what would you do if you know you're going to die soon?"
Ohno ran a hand through his short ebony hair and then shrugged.
"I'll start living."
--
Life. Death. What did it mean to Jun? What should it mean to Jun? He's viewed life as a game, more often than not. It presented a challenge; he accepted it and he had to win. That was how he ended up in a decent college and in a comfortable job. When the challenges stopped coming, Jun saw life as a cycle. Rise, eat, work, eat, sleep. It was the same things all over again and Jun felt like he was doing all these things unconsciously. After seeing life as a repetitive cycle, he started to feel meaningless. Why was he doing the same things all over again? Why couldn't he stop doing it?
On the other hand, death was something foreign to Jun. He was too busy figuring life out to care about death.
--
"Is that why you came? Because I'm going to die?"
"I-in a way."
"Tell me the truth."
"I can't--and I won't--lie to you, Jun. You were supposed to have died several weeks ago but--"
"Then why am I still here?"
"I didn't want you to die yet."
"So you came here to stop me from dying?"
"I did my best. We both did our best to hold out this long. But death is inevitable and yours will come soon. I wanted to give you more time. I wanted to prolong your life, and I guess this is as far as I can go. I'm sorry."
"Why did you do it?"
"You don't deserve to die without knowing what life is, Jun."
--
Telling other people about your death was a topic anyone would've wanted to avoid and Jun was no different. But since he was lucky enough to know that his time will be up soon, he made discreet preparations.
For his first step, he quit his job. All his ongoing projects were passed on to other engineers so smoothly that Jun felt that someone was lending him a helping hand. He then wrote a letter to his parents, as well as to his sister, asking them how they've been. His apartment was slowly being cleaned up.
He thought that for someone who was going to die soon, he sure felt lively.
"Do you want me to leave?" Sho asked, while Jun was putting his things in neat boxes to be shipped to his parents back in his hometown.
"No. I like you here."
"You do?"
Jun looked up from the cardboard box and met Sho's eyes. "Yeah, I do."
"Are you really okay with dying?"
Asking Jun about it so suddenly must mean Sho thought that he was.
"Yeah, I am. I had a good life. I have a great guardian angle and I don't think I can ask for more."
Sho smiled warmly at him. Jun felt his cheeks heat up slightly and he smiled back.
--
Jun got involved in a car accident. His front bumper was crushed and he bumped his head hard against his window from the impact. For some moments, Jun stayed conscious, as unknown people took him out of his now destroyed car and into an ambulance.
He struggled to stay awake as he was rushed into the emergency room, but by now he's lost too much blood and the horrible gash on his head was feeling pretty fatal to him. While all this is happening, the only thought that ran through his head was "It's time, it's time." and he almost didn't fight it.
All the while, he could see Sho. Blending in with the doctors' and nurses' white clothes, but somehow looking warmer and more alive than anyone else in the room. When he could finally feel his body giving up, he saw Sho, saying in that calm way he's used throughout all this, "I'll be waiting."
Jun smiled, closed his eyes and whispered, "I'll see you there."
--end