More pointless drivel...
I sit, alone,
as I always have,
dreaming of the days that I won't need to worry
about bill collectors or affording food;
about just what it will take to fill the void...
or at least force it into hiding for a while.
Out of sight...
Happiness still eludes me.
The past and present have chained my throat,
and I can feel the weights of the probable future...
I am bound, so long as I cling to my questions,
and I cannot be liberated.
I will not live blissfully in ignorance,
but the awareness I've needed has never come.
I'm living in a self-medicated society,
conforming to a pointless dogma of my own invention,
just to relieve the pain I cause myself,
by far too much analyzation,
and not enough truth.
Love may be a simple illusion,
beauty a mere contrast of the norm.
Fear.
They say that it is human to crave familiarity.
But constant questioning is all I've ever known.
I was born a hopeless dreamer...
Fate wills me to die alone,
my questions still unanswered,
my enduring companion still alive and well.
I will never know how far I've strayed.
The darkness in my heart has consumed the hope,
and life is a ledge that my fingers just can't grip...
Slowly... slipping away, as every dreamer before me,
and as all to follow shall.
Our dreams are fleeting, not meant to last,
for our minds are as mortal as we.
Anguish is the only truth I've known.
Someday.
Someday it won't be all that bad.
I try to think that I'm not as cyclical anymore, but here I go starting a new life again...
I suppose I'd rather be the owl, but the phoenix is more my personality.
Bring on the flames.