(no subject)
Ok....I demand an explanation. Where did Hank go? Why? I want my friend back!!!!
Ben is spoiling my dogs, and spending far too much time with them. I'm jealous.
I think I've never hated my agent quite as much as I did this morning. I was feeling warm and safe cuddled against Ben under the blankets, the dogs were quiet, everything was nice and peaceful. And suddenly *Beep beep beep, beep beep beep*, I swear, I hadn't felt like tossing the damn thing and sending it crashing against the wall opposite since I was about 16. It just wasn't fair.
After much mumbling and cursing under my breath I left his side and joined the crowds of wondering people moving around, and I was wondering if half of them knew where they were going, it's something about New Yorkers. The expression each and every single one of them has as they walk, or jog, or drive, is one of complete self awareness. How do they accomplish this? I'm sure my own expression is often clouded by dire confusion, mostly because I spend most of my life confused about the simplest things, like if I placed my mug in the dishwasher before I left. Then it occurred to me that Ben was home, that Ben could do it. I couldn't help but to smile and in THAT moment, perhaps I looked like one of those centered New Yorkers.
For the first time in my life I was eager to finish work, go home. Could you blame me? I got back to find a loving man who had baked for me, how I could resist that is beyond me, I don't want to find out if I ever could. I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with the sheer terror I stumble upon at the mere thought of what I feel for my darling brit.
I was talking to Rufus earlier and mentioned my fear, he said something which immediately eased the coward that is me right now. "I'm learning that the fear is what proves that you really feel for someone. If you don't feel afraid, it means that you don't really care all that much about what happens. The fear fades a bit when you learn to trust the feeling of being in love." So in the end, like everything else, its just a matter of time.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
I feel the need to mention my dearest Livvie, my darling Fiona and my sweet Sarah. They are young and revitalizing, talking to them, together with the recent happenings, makes me feel like teenager. So now, I don't just look like one.
To Rufus and Stephen, you're both an inspiration and even though I know
I'm a terrible commenter, most of the time it's out of utter and complete incompetence to say something worthy.
Joaquin: I wish you the best of luck.
Rob: Someday I'll stop being a complete ditz and finally understand whats going on, I don't know if I'll be able to help or not but I could at least try.
Ethan: You STILL owe me my beers, don't think I'll forget anytime soon.
Seth: Give me a call whenever you're around. I need a girl-talk. :-*
Ben: I love you, you mad brit.
I'm too lazy to mention everyone, so I'm very sorry if someone feels left out.
~Janeane~
Ben is spoiling my dogs, and spending far too much time with them. I'm jealous.
I think I've never hated my agent quite as much as I did this morning. I was feeling warm and safe cuddled against Ben under the blankets, the dogs were quiet, everything was nice and peaceful. And suddenly *Beep beep beep, beep beep beep*, I swear, I hadn't felt like tossing the damn thing and sending it crashing against the wall opposite since I was about 16. It just wasn't fair.
After much mumbling and cursing under my breath I left his side and joined the crowds of wondering people moving around, and I was wondering if half of them knew where they were going, it's something about New Yorkers. The expression each and every single one of them has as they walk, or jog, or drive, is one of complete self awareness. How do they accomplish this? I'm sure my own expression is often clouded by dire confusion, mostly because I spend most of my life confused about the simplest things, like if I placed my mug in the dishwasher before I left. Then it occurred to me that Ben was home, that Ben could do it. I couldn't help but to smile and in THAT moment, perhaps I looked like one of those centered New Yorkers.
For the first time in my life I was eager to finish work, go home. Could you blame me? I got back to find a loving man who had baked for me, how I could resist that is beyond me, I don't want to find out if I ever could. I'm still trying to figure out how to deal with the sheer terror I stumble upon at the mere thought of what I feel for my darling brit.
I was talking to Rufus earlier and mentioned my fear, he said something which immediately eased the coward that is me right now. "I'm learning that the fear is what proves that you really feel for someone. If you don't feel afraid, it means that you don't really care all that much about what happens. The fear fades a bit when you learn to trust the feeling of being in love." So in the end, like everything else, its just a matter of time.
-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*-*
I feel the need to mention my dearest Livvie, my darling Fiona and my sweet Sarah. They are young and revitalizing, talking to them, together with the recent happenings, makes me feel like teenager. So now, I don't just look like one.
To Rufus and Stephen, you're both an inspiration and even though I know
I'm a terrible commenter, most of the time it's out of utter and complete incompetence to say something worthy.
Joaquin: I wish you the best of luck.
Rob: Someday I'll stop being a complete ditz and finally understand whats going on, I don't know if I'll be able to help or not but I could at least try.
Ethan: You STILL owe me my beers, don't think I'll forget anytime soon.
Seth: Give me a call whenever you're around. I need a girl-talk. :-*
Ben: I love you, you mad brit.
I'm too lazy to mention everyone, so I'm very sorry if someone feels left out.
~Janeane~