Glee Fic: All Mud Not Created Equal
Title: All Mud Not Created Equal
Summary: Kurt agonizes over the thought of a mud bath. Part of my Animal Verse. Or Piggy!kurt verse if you're from Tumblr.
Rating: PG
Words: 3,298
A/N: I'm going to need to put another R one out soon.
0o0o0o0o0o
Mud and Kurt Hummel did not go together. There was a group of people who were actually pretty sure it must be written in stone somewhere. Somewhere beautiful like a mountaintop or somewhere classy like a villa in the French country side. But regardless of location, it had to be somewhere. Because Kurt Hummel did not do mud. He just didn't. Even as a child he'd been cautious of messes and filth, so much so that it drove even his mother a little batty. Since his transformation into a pig his penchant for cleanliness had increased two fold. People already looked down on him for looking like a pig, he wasn't going to prove their assumptions right by acting like one.
It was truly a blessing that Blaine understood him wholeheartedly. A lesser man would have thrown in the towel a long time ago and found a nice, more mainstream, animal to settle down with. Mercedes was not so understanding. The two of them were falling apart at the seams. Kurt had originally thought it started with Mercedes' transformation and his unwillingness to listen to her at ever hour about how much it sucked. When he'd turned into a pig she made no effort to hide how much she saw as some sort of cosmic retribution. Even after things had settled down there were moments when it was clear she took at least a small amount of joy from his discomfort. It stung. Mercedes had been Kurt's first real friend, his best friend. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized the transformation wasn't their first strain. First and foremost was the crush fiasco back in sophmore year, then Quinn had moved in and sucked up all her time, then the Great Religion Fall Out had reared it's ugly head.
No, their relationship wasn't meant to last. And if he hadn't been thinking about all of that before, this sealed it. Mercedes had made a great to do about her birthday gift to Kurt, claiming it was one for the ages. Kurt, so eager to believe the best of his bestie, hadn't given her praises a negative thought. So when the time came at his party to open gifts he saved hers for last and bounced around in his seat like a child until he had the present in his hands. It had been an envelope, an off white parchment style paper. At Mercedes' insistence he opened it with great care and pulled out a spa certificate. For a full day of mud treatment. Mud masks, mud massages, a mud bath, and there in the corner was a seal showing that she'd opted to add the all you can eat buffet lunch option.
With clenched teeth Kurt had thanked her for the spa day and set it aside. He refused to speak to her for the rest of the evening and had since avoided her like the plague at school. Blaine, ever the perfect boyfriend, had joined him in freezing Mercedes out. The spa day passes were sitting on his dresser collecting dust. The date wasn't set until Spring Break so Kurt had some time to figure out what exactly he was going to do with them. He'd been to that spa before, pre-transformation obviously. He had still been baby faced then too. But he remembered the plaque behind the counter that stated all returns must be made in person. Kurt wasn't really prepared to face that humiliation. He should just throw them away, or burn them, but Kurt can't resist the thought that some day he'll need them for something. To prove what Mercedes did.
The days slipped by in a rush of glee dramatics and pop quizzes from frazzled teachers until at last it was spring break. Mercedes had gradually come to realize that Kurt was ignoring her and not just missing her. She'd taken it with a bit more grace than Kurt had expected but it probably had more to do with the ammunition Kurt had on her than anything. For now it seemed she was content to let things lie. With a heavy heart Kurt picked up the envelope holding the passes and sat on his bed. He could always use them. He could face the spa just like he had the prom. But he was reluctant. At the moment only Blaine and Mercedes were witness to his humiliation. Showing up at the spa wouldn't prove anything to the staff, other than confirming the stereotype that pigs loved mud.
Maybe he could exchange the package. He could tell the clerk that the gift was a joke and plead. Pig nose or not he could still rock the wounded kitten look. If he worked himself up just right he could woo a young lady into feeling sorry enough for an exchange. And with two passes he could spend a whole day with Blaine being pampered. Kurt took a few deep breaths and texted Blaine his plan. Just as he expected, Blaine thought it was a wonderful idea. He had kind of been hoping for Blaine to turn it down, then at least he could convince himself it was a better idea to trash them. But with a viable plan there was no reason to toss them. After everything that had been happening lately a spa day sounded heavenly.
So in what seemed like no time at all Kurt found himself standing in a spa lobby with his boyfriend, staring down a bored looking lemur. Maybe Kurt had a little bit of a bitch face on, but he was nervous and the poor girl was wearing a ribbon on the tip of her tail. Like a common poodle. What on Earth was she thinking? “Full day mud treatment and lunch?”
“That's us.” Kurt raised his nose and looked down at the clerk defiantly, daring her to say something rude about his animal. To his immense relief she remained as bored and disinterested as ever, paying them barely any mind. It was entirely possible that she didn't even know what kind of hybrids they were, her nose was so far buried into her computer.
“Okay, take these arm bands. The locker room is on your right. After you change follow this hallway until you get to the purple door. When you're done there they'll tell you where to go next.” She waved vaguely to her left and slid them two paper armbands, similar to the ones you get at water parks. Blaine thanked her enthusiastically then all but skipped to the locker room, his hand tight around Kurt's. His smile was infectious. By the time they were in the locker room slipping on robes Kurt was smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. Blaine was wiggling into a pair of very short, very tight navy blue swim shorts. He looked like he belonged in a swimsuit catalog from the seventies. Kurt put on some slightly more tasteful beige short trunks that fell to mid thigh. Once they were sure their tails were in the proper place and their robes were fastened tightly they clasped hands and made their way to the purple door.
It was the mud bath room. There was only one other person there, an old woman who looked more dead than alive. The periodic twitches of her fingers against her glass of lemonade was the only sign of life. “Let's go way over there.” Kurt herded Blaine over to the far corner of the room. From their spot they'd be able to watch the door and the television that was playing some reality show on mute. Kurt wasn't sure what it was but they looked like they were from Jersey. Maybe it was about nails. Maybe hair. He couldn't really focus on it.
The mud itself was relaxing. It was warm and thick. Lying in it made him feel like he was swaddled in warmth. Or floating. It was a nice feeling if he didn't think about it being mud. Beside him Blaine was relaxing in his own little mud tub. There was a small smile on his face but he looked worried. Worried for Kurt and his nerves. Kurt flashed him a smile and shook his head to clear the bad thoughts. They were at a spa. The only people here were the bored employees and old drunk women. They would be fine. Kurt would be fine. Even pigs deserved to treat themselves. On that thought Kurt let himself relax into the treated mud. It smelt like sea salt and maybe a little bit of bitter chocolate. The temperature was wonderful, enough to sooth all of his muscles, but not enough to make his face over heated. Even Blaine was enjoying himself. His ears were hanging limply, the tips dipping into the mud. His face was relaxed, his mouth open just enough to show off a little of his giant front teeth.
By the time an employee came to move them to the next room both of them were on the verge of nodding off. Groggily they climbed out and slumped to the little showers to rinse off for lunch. Blaine's ears remained flopped over and loose, just barely swinging with him as he walked. More than once Kurt reached out to smooth the fur and play with the tips. He was always met with a smile and a lazy tail wiggle. He was thankful that Blaine was aware enough to not draw any attention to his pig features. No one else had yet and he wanted to keep the trend going. Lunch itself was great. They were put into a private room instead of in a cafeteria. There were two tables pushed together and laden with food. Kurt found himself eating a little bit of everything. Like always, he put away more than Blaine, but he didn't feel like he made a significant dent.
“All finished sirs?” This employee was a tiny blond thing, barely taller than Rachel. She looked like she weighed one hundred pounds soaking wet. She was a bird. Kurt couldn't tell exactly what kind, but she had a plum of brownish-red feathers coming from the back of her skirt. When they were able to tell her that they were indeed well past finished she smiled brightly and lead them to another room. She chattered the whole way, pointing out paintings and statues and telling about the interesting guests they sometimes got. Blaine bounced along with her, adding anecdotes when he could and constantly looking back at Kurt to keep him engaged. It was adorable really.
When they finally came to the massage room the girl quieted down. Blaine passed by her first, his now dry trunks rustling as he hopped onto the table. As Kurt passed by her to lie next to Blaine he could feel her eyes on him. She was fixed on his nose. There was no denying the rapt attention she was giving it, like she'd never seen a pig before. Not wanting to ruin the light mood Blaine had created with the girl, Kurt said nothing and laid on his own table without another word. His arms were tense at his sides. He could hide his nose in the round pillow but his tail was still out in the open, his curly flesh colored tail.
“Kurt. Kurt. They're coming. An otter and a rat.” Blaine's voice coaxed Kurt to turn his head and look back. The rat masseuse was no looker. He'd feel a little better if that's who he got. At least if she made a comment Kurt would know she didn't have a leg to stand on. Blaine must have read his mind because he held his hand out for the squat little otter woman. She was older and very short but her face was kind. And her hands looked very strong. With his face still squished to the side of the pillow Kurt murmured his hello to his masseuse. He received a worn smile in return before he was instructed to lie down properly.
The massage was heavenly. The room was filled with the sound of Kurt and Blaine groaning and sighing as the women dug their hands into knots and valleys along their back. Kurt felt like he would melt through the table to the floor. Not once did the masseuse make a comment about his tail. Nor did she shy away from his lower back to avoid touching it. The whole experience was pure bliss. Not even the little bird girl could ruin this moment. By the time the massage was done the two of them were boneless and unable to turn over for the facialist. They both laid there limply until the woman came and prodded them onto their backs one at a time. Kurt was rolled first. He went with a small noise of discontent, which Blaine giggled at.
More than once the facialist checked to make sure Kurt hadn't actually fallen asleep during the application of the mud. Though he felt close to it, Kurt was still awake. He was just in that weird state where you felt like you were asleep or dreaming but you weren't. The mud smelled like lavender and something floral. It wasn't anything that was going to keep him awake. Blaine wasn't doing much better. When the woman moved to him he could hear Blaine rocking against the table to adjust his nub of a tail. Then it was quiet. An occasional snuffle from Kurt or sigh from Blaine would break up the silence but it was serene. They were left alone for quite some time with only the humidifier and each other to keep them company.
“Are you going to thank Mercedes?” Blaine's voice was tentative and soft. Like he was afraid his question would ruin the soft heavenly atmosphere they'd created around themselves. It almost did. Kurt certainly wasn't as comfortable as he had been before Blaine asked. His mind had been blissfully quiet. Now he couldn't stop thinking. Should he thank her? It was true that he'd enjoyed his visit, but it was also true that Mercedes had meant it as a joke. If he thanked her she might think she'd gotten away with something very clever and cruel. If he didn't thank her she might hound him down for not being grateful. Or something. With Mercedes there was always a problem to be had. Not that he didn't love her. He did. She was his first friend. But she was so finicky. And very vindictive.
“Maybe. Maybe I don't have to. She gave them to me forever ago. She probably thinks I threw them away.” She probably did. Since receiving the passes he hadn't mentioned them to her. Or talked to her much at all. Maybe he could just let the whole thing slide away and it would die. Kurt tried to go back to the blissful half sleep state he was in before but it wouldn't come. He didn't blame Blaine. It was something he needed to think about. And it was probably better that Kurt wasn't half asleep just before he needed to get behind the wheel. Kurt heaved a deep sigh and tried to bring himself around a little more. Just in time too. The woman was back to clean off their faces and usher them back to the locker room. On the way they passed by the bird girl again. Rather than face her Kurt tucked himself to Blaine's side and occupied himself with his boyfriend's hand.
They changed back into their clothes with quite a bit of fanfare and teasing. They traced each others stomachs and tugged on each others tails, all between sweet chaste kisses and lingering looks. One of the benefits to going during the middle of the week was the lack of other people. On the down side Kurt had to work an extra shift at the garage for free as “punishment” for skipping school. Blaine was getting off scott free. His little minx of a boyfriend was a miracle worker where his parents were concerned. “Oh God. Oh God. Stop. Stop stop stop stop. Blaine, stop it.” Kurt's smile was wide and his pleas for Blaine to still his questing hands was giggled out with a high whine. They had to get out of here before someone came investigating. As intent as Kurt was to not come back he didn't actually want to be banned from the spa. “We have to leeeave.” At Blaine's pout Kurt grabbed both of his hands and gave a mock pout of his own, then tugged him into a hug. He rubbed his nose into Blaine's curly hair and snorted happily.
“Fine, fine. Let's go.” Blaine sighed and shook his head like Kurt was doing him a great injustice. The happy wiggle in his tail gave him away though. Not that Kurt was worried. At the pace they were going Blaine was very likely to get lucky back at the house. It'd been too long honestly. After getting a taste of a pigs extended orgasm a hunger built up inside of him like he'd never felt before. Sex was amazing. Honest and truly. Kurt tilted his head back and smiled, following Blaine blindly though the lobby.
“Pardon me. Sir?” It was the bird girl. Kurt turned and kept his face neutral. If she was making an effort to be civil he could too. It stood at this point that she hadn't actually been mean, just a little rude. Just a touch.
“Yes?”
“Could you take a picture with me?”
Kurt's face screwed up, his snout twisting up and wrinkling the bridge of his nose. He was appalled. He'd never had anyone so disgusted by his face they had to have a photo of him. It was ridiculous. How could this girl just come up to him, at a place of business, and ask for his photo for some wall of shame? “Excuse me?”
“I'm sorry. It's just, you know I'm such a fan.”
“Of what exactly?” Kurt took a step forward, arms crossed over his chest. Behind him Blaine was watching sadly, his eyes wide and his mouth open.
“Lisa Fonssagrives. I have her first Vogue cover and all of her most popular prints. I even have a few of her early ones, before she hit it big. You have the same bone structure. It's amazing.” The bird girl was breathless with excitement. She was blushing and fidgeting with the slim black camera in her hands. Kurt couldn't believe it. Someone wanted his picture. For good reasons. Someone thought he was attractive. Someone other than his loving, steadfast boyfriend.
Kurt let a rush of breath out all at once and answered “Okay.” He squealed and bounced along with the bird girl, Jessica she said. They took several photos. Some with their faces squished together. Some with Kurt making classic model faces. Some with exaggerated ANTP poses with Blaine at his side. Before the impromptu shoot ended Kurt and Blaine planted kisses on her cheeks. She posted that photo immediately to her facebook.
“You have no idea how much this means to me.” Jessica preened over the camera and sent them each a genuine smile. Blaine clucked his tongue and tucked his head the side, eyes fond. Kurt stepped close to her and bopped his snout against her cheek.
“You have no idea how much that meant to me. Thank you.”
When the two of them finally made it out to the car, long after they were suppose to leave, Kurt texted Mercedes a simple 'thanks'. It didn't really matter if she knew what it was for.
0o0o0o0o0o0o0o
Am I hating too much on Mercedes? I don't know. Sometimes I love her and sometimes I kind of hate her. I started this one when I was in one of my moods. And omg why are all of these so angsty? Some of you sent me nice happy prompts. I'm going to have to do one of those next.
Summary: Kurt agonizes over the thought of a mud bath. Part of my Animal Verse. Or Piggy!kurt verse if you're from Tumblr.
Rating: PG
Words: 3,298
A/N: I'm going to need to put another R one out soon.
0o0o0o0o0o
Mud and Kurt Hummel did not go together. There was a group of people who were actually pretty sure it must be written in stone somewhere. Somewhere beautiful like a mountaintop or somewhere classy like a villa in the French country side. But regardless of location, it had to be somewhere. Because Kurt Hummel did not do mud. He just didn't. Even as a child he'd been cautious of messes and filth, so much so that it drove even his mother a little batty. Since his transformation into a pig his penchant for cleanliness had increased two fold. People already looked down on him for looking like a pig, he wasn't going to prove their assumptions right by acting like one.
It was truly a blessing that Blaine understood him wholeheartedly. A lesser man would have thrown in the towel a long time ago and found a nice, more mainstream, animal to settle down with. Mercedes was not so understanding. The two of them were falling apart at the seams. Kurt had originally thought it started with Mercedes' transformation and his unwillingness to listen to her at ever hour about how much it sucked. When he'd turned into a pig she made no effort to hide how much she saw as some sort of cosmic retribution. Even after things had settled down there were moments when it was clear she took at least a small amount of joy from his discomfort. It stung. Mercedes had been Kurt's first real friend, his best friend. But the more he thought about it, the more he realized the transformation wasn't their first strain. First and foremost was the crush fiasco back in sophmore year, then Quinn had moved in and sucked up all her time, then the Great Religion Fall Out had reared it's ugly head.
No, their relationship wasn't meant to last. And if he hadn't been thinking about all of that before, this sealed it. Mercedes had made a great to do about her birthday gift to Kurt, claiming it was one for the ages. Kurt, so eager to believe the best of his bestie, hadn't given her praises a negative thought. So when the time came at his party to open gifts he saved hers for last and bounced around in his seat like a child until he had the present in his hands. It had been an envelope, an off white parchment style paper. At Mercedes' insistence he opened it with great care and pulled out a spa certificate. For a full day of mud treatment. Mud masks, mud massages, a mud bath, and there in the corner was a seal showing that she'd opted to add the all you can eat buffet lunch option.
With clenched teeth Kurt had thanked her for the spa day and set it aside. He refused to speak to her for the rest of the evening and had since avoided her like the plague at school. Blaine, ever the perfect boyfriend, had joined him in freezing Mercedes out. The spa day passes were sitting on his dresser collecting dust. The date wasn't set until Spring Break so Kurt had some time to figure out what exactly he was going to do with them. He'd been to that spa before, pre-transformation obviously. He had still been baby faced then too. But he remembered the plaque behind the counter that stated all returns must be made in person. Kurt wasn't really prepared to face that humiliation. He should just throw them away, or burn them, but Kurt can't resist the thought that some day he'll need them for something. To prove what Mercedes did.
The days slipped by in a rush of glee dramatics and pop quizzes from frazzled teachers until at last it was spring break. Mercedes had gradually come to realize that Kurt was ignoring her and not just missing her. She'd taken it with a bit more grace than Kurt had expected but it probably had more to do with the ammunition Kurt had on her than anything. For now it seemed she was content to let things lie. With a heavy heart Kurt picked up the envelope holding the passes and sat on his bed. He could always use them. He could face the spa just like he had the prom. But he was reluctant. At the moment only Blaine and Mercedes were witness to his humiliation. Showing up at the spa wouldn't prove anything to the staff, other than confirming the stereotype that pigs loved mud.
Maybe he could exchange the package. He could tell the clerk that the gift was a joke and plead. Pig nose or not he could still rock the wounded kitten look. If he worked himself up just right he could woo a young lady into feeling sorry enough for an exchange. And with two passes he could spend a whole day with Blaine being pampered. Kurt took a few deep breaths and texted Blaine his plan. Just as he expected, Blaine thought it was a wonderful idea. He had kind of been hoping for Blaine to turn it down, then at least he could convince himself it was a better idea to trash them. But with a viable plan there was no reason to toss them. After everything that had been happening lately a spa day sounded heavenly.
So in what seemed like no time at all Kurt found himself standing in a spa lobby with his boyfriend, staring down a bored looking lemur. Maybe Kurt had a little bit of a bitch face on, but he was nervous and the poor girl was wearing a ribbon on the tip of her tail. Like a common poodle. What on Earth was she thinking? “Full day mud treatment and lunch?”
“That's us.” Kurt raised his nose and looked down at the clerk defiantly, daring her to say something rude about his animal. To his immense relief she remained as bored and disinterested as ever, paying them barely any mind. It was entirely possible that she didn't even know what kind of hybrids they were, her nose was so far buried into her computer.
“Okay, take these arm bands. The locker room is on your right. After you change follow this hallway until you get to the purple door. When you're done there they'll tell you where to go next.” She waved vaguely to her left and slid them two paper armbands, similar to the ones you get at water parks. Blaine thanked her enthusiastically then all but skipped to the locker room, his hand tight around Kurt's. His smile was infectious. By the time they were in the locker room slipping on robes Kurt was smiling so wide his cheeks hurt. Blaine was wiggling into a pair of very short, very tight navy blue swim shorts. He looked like he belonged in a swimsuit catalog from the seventies. Kurt put on some slightly more tasteful beige short trunks that fell to mid thigh. Once they were sure their tails were in the proper place and their robes were fastened tightly they clasped hands and made their way to the purple door.
It was the mud bath room. There was only one other person there, an old woman who looked more dead than alive. The periodic twitches of her fingers against her glass of lemonade was the only sign of life. “Let's go way over there.” Kurt herded Blaine over to the far corner of the room. From their spot they'd be able to watch the door and the television that was playing some reality show on mute. Kurt wasn't sure what it was but they looked like they were from Jersey. Maybe it was about nails. Maybe hair. He couldn't really focus on it.
The mud itself was relaxing. It was warm and thick. Lying in it made him feel like he was swaddled in warmth. Or floating. It was a nice feeling if he didn't think about it being mud. Beside him Blaine was relaxing in his own little mud tub. There was a small smile on his face but he looked worried. Worried for Kurt and his nerves. Kurt flashed him a smile and shook his head to clear the bad thoughts. They were at a spa. The only people here were the bored employees and old drunk women. They would be fine. Kurt would be fine. Even pigs deserved to treat themselves. On that thought Kurt let himself relax into the treated mud. It smelt like sea salt and maybe a little bit of bitter chocolate. The temperature was wonderful, enough to sooth all of his muscles, but not enough to make his face over heated. Even Blaine was enjoying himself. His ears were hanging limply, the tips dipping into the mud. His face was relaxed, his mouth open just enough to show off a little of his giant front teeth.
By the time an employee came to move them to the next room both of them were on the verge of nodding off. Groggily they climbed out and slumped to the little showers to rinse off for lunch. Blaine's ears remained flopped over and loose, just barely swinging with him as he walked. More than once Kurt reached out to smooth the fur and play with the tips. He was always met with a smile and a lazy tail wiggle. He was thankful that Blaine was aware enough to not draw any attention to his pig features. No one else had yet and he wanted to keep the trend going. Lunch itself was great. They were put into a private room instead of in a cafeteria. There were two tables pushed together and laden with food. Kurt found himself eating a little bit of everything. Like always, he put away more than Blaine, but he didn't feel like he made a significant dent.
“All finished sirs?” This employee was a tiny blond thing, barely taller than Rachel. She looked like she weighed one hundred pounds soaking wet. She was a bird. Kurt couldn't tell exactly what kind, but she had a plum of brownish-red feathers coming from the back of her skirt. When they were able to tell her that they were indeed well past finished she smiled brightly and lead them to another room. She chattered the whole way, pointing out paintings and statues and telling about the interesting guests they sometimes got. Blaine bounced along with her, adding anecdotes when he could and constantly looking back at Kurt to keep him engaged. It was adorable really.
When they finally came to the massage room the girl quieted down. Blaine passed by her first, his now dry trunks rustling as he hopped onto the table. As Kurt passed by her to lie next to Blaine he could feel her eyes on him. She was fixed on his nose. There was no denying the rapt attention she was giving it, like she'd never seen a pig before. Not wanting to ruin the light mood Blaine had created with the girl, Kurt said nothing and laid on his own table without another word. His arms were tense at his sides. He could hide his nose in the round pillow but his tail was still out in the open, his curly flesh colored tail.
“Kurt. Kurt. They're coming. An otter and a rat.” Blaine's voice coaxed Kurt to turn his head and look back. The rat masseuse was no looker. He'd feel a little better if that's who he got. At least if she made a comment Kurt would know she didn't have a leg to stand on. Blaine must have read his mind because he held his hand out for the squat little otter woman. She was older and very short but her face was kind. And her hands looked very strong. With his face still squished to the side of the pillow Kurt murmured his hello to his masseuse. He received a worn smile in return before he was instructed to lie down properly.
The massage was heavenly. The room was filled with the sound of Kurt and Blaine groaning and sighing as the women dug their hands into knots and valleys along their back. Kurt felt like he would melt through the table to the floor. Not once did the masseuse make a comment about his tail. Nor did she shy away from his lower back to avoid touching it. The whole experience was pure bliss. Not even the little bird girl could ruin this moment. By the time the massage was done the two of them were boneless and unable to turn over for the facialist. They both laid there limply until the woman came and prodded them onto their backs one at a time. Kurt was rolled first. He went with a small noise of discontent, which Blaine giggled at.
More than once the facialist checked to make sure Kurt hadn't actually fallen asleep during the application of the mud. Though he felt close to it, Kurt was still awake. He was just in that weird state where you felt like you were asleep or dreaming but you weren't. The mud smelled like lavender and something floral. It wasn't anything that was going to keep him awake. Blaine wasn't doing much better. When the woman moved to him he could hear Blaine rocking against the table to adjust his nub of a tail. Then it was quiet. An occasional snuffle from Kurt or sigh from Blaine would break up the silence but it was serene. They were left alone for quite some time with only the humidifier and each other to keep them company.
“Are you going to thank Mercedes?” Blaine's voice was tentative and soft. Like he was afraid his question would ruin the soft heavenly atmosphere they'd created around themselves. It almost did. Kurt certainly wasn't as comfortable as he had been before Blaine asked. His mind had been blissfully quiet. Now he couldn't stop thinking. Should he thank her? It was true that he'd enjoyed his visit, but it was also true that Mercedes had meant it as a joke. If he thanked her she might think she'd gotten away with something very clever and cruel. If he didn't thank her she might hound him down for not being grateful. Or something. With Mercedes there was always a problem to be had. Not that he didn't love her. He did. She was his first friend. But she was so finicky. And very vindictive.
“Maybe. Maybe I don't have to. She gave them to me forever ago. She probably thinks I threw them away.” She probably did. Since receiving the passes he hadn't mentioned them to her. Or talked to her much at all. Maybe he could just let the whole thing slide away and it would die. Kurt tried to go back to the blissful half sleep state he was in before but it wouldn't come. He didn't blame Blaine. It was something he needed to think about. And it was probably better that Kurt wasn't half asleep just before he needed to get behind the wheel. Kurt heaved a deep sigh and tried to bring himself around a little more. Just in time too. The woman was back to clean off their faces and usher them back to the locker room. On the way they passed by the bird girl again. Rather than face her Kurt tucked himself to Blaine's side and occupied himself with his boyfriend's hand.
They changed back into their clothes with quite a bit of fanfare and teasing. They traced each others stomachs and tugged on each others tails, all between sweet chaste kisses and lingering looks. One of the benefits to going during the middle of the week was the lack of other people. On the down side Kurt had to work an extra shift at the garage for free as “punishment” for skipping school. Blaine was getting off scott free. His little minx of a boyfriend was a miracle worker where his parents were concerned. “Oh God. Oh God. Stop. Stop stop stop stop. Blaine, stop it.” Kurt's smile was wide and his pleas for Blaine to still his questing hands was giggled out with a high whine. They had to get out of here before someone came investigating. As intent as Kurt was to not come back he didn't actually want to be banned from the spa. “We have to leeeave.” At Blaine's pout Kurt grabbed both of his hands and gave a mock pout of his own, then tugged him into a hug. He rubbed his nose into Blaine's curly hair and snorted happily.
“Fine, fine. Let's go.” Blaine sighed and shook his head like Kurt was doing him a great injustice. The happy wiggle in his tail gave him away though. Not that Kurt was worried. At the pace they were going Blaine was very likely to get lucky back at the house. It'd been too long honestly. After getting a taste of a pigs extended orgasm a hunger built up inside of him like he'd never felt before. Sex was amazing. Honest and truly. Kurt tilted his head back and smiled, following Blaine blindly though the lobby.
“Pardon me. Sir?” It was the bird girl. Kurt turned and kept his face neutral. If she was making an effort to be civil he could too. It stood at this point that she hadn't actually been mean, just a little rude. Just a touch.
“Yes?”
“Could you take a picture with me?”
Kurt's face screwed up, his snout twisting up and wrinkling the bridge of his nose. He was appalled. He'd never had anyone so disgusted by his face they had to have a photo of him. It was ridiculous. How could this girl just come up to him, at a place of business, and ask for his photo for some wall of shame? “Excuse me?”
“I'm sorry. It's just, you know I'm such a fan.”
“Of what exactly?” Kurt took a step forward, arms crossed over his chest. Behind him Blaine was watching sadly, his eyes wide and his mouth open.
“Lisa Fonssagrives. I have her first Vogue cover and all of her most popular prints. I even have a few of her early ones, before she hit it big. You have the same bone structure. It's amazing.” The bird girl was breathless with excitement. She was blushing and fidgeting with the slim black camera in her hands. Kurt couldn't believe it. Someone wanted his picture. For good reasons. Someone thought he was attractive. Someone other than his loving, steadfast boyfriend.
Kurt let a rush of breath out all at once and answered “Okay.” He squealed and bounced along with the bird girl, Jessica she said. They took several photos. Some with their faces squished together. Some with Kurt making classic model faces. Some with exaggerated ANTP poses with Blaine at his side. Before the impromptu shoot ended Kurt and Blaine planted kisses on her cheeks. She posted that photo immediately to her facebook.
“You have no idea how much this means to me.” Jessica preened over the camera and sent them each a genuine smile. Blaine clucked his tongue and tucked his head the side, eyes fond. Kurt stepped close to her and bopped his snout against her cheek.
“You have no idea how much that meant to me. Thank you.”
When the two of them finally made it out to the car, long after they were suppose to leave, Kurt texted Mercedes a simple 'thanks'. It didn't really matter if she knew what it was for.
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Am I hating too much on Mercedes? I don't know. Sometimes I love her and sometimes I kind of hate her. I started this one when I was in one of my moods. And omg why are all of these so angsty? Some of you sent me nice happy prompts. I'm going to have to do one of those next.