Glee Drabble: What Was That, Seriously
Title: What Was That, Seriously
Summary: Kurt still doesn't understand how Sue works.
Words: 880 (Super short I'm sorry)
Rating: G
A/N: It's very super short I'm sorry. But I've been busy with my legal class and the longer ones just have to wait until I finish up this case study. But we get a quick look at Sue.
0o0o0o0o0o0
As it turned out, being a pig did dissuade Sue Sylvester from recruiting Kurt for the Cheerios. But not for the reasons he would have suspected. In all honesty he wasn't quite sure what happened or what Sue was thinking. Like ever. But it boiled down to Kurt being not on the Cheerios but still decidedly within the group of people Sue still tolerated. It would be touching if Kurt weren't still mildly terrified.
It all started the day he went back to school after his transformation. Unbeknownst to him, Sue had several Cheerios trail him through out the week that followed to check his habits, complexion, and reflexes. Whatever their preliminary criteria was, he'd passed it. The next step in Sue's plan, which Kurt was only able to speculate on as she still wouldn't come clean, was verifying this all for herself. Which would explain the few times she stopped by glee practice without warning and the sudden string of minor problems with her car. Once she'd been sure that her Cheerios hadn't reported back with false or skewed information, she made a very uncomfortable visit to his house.
She came to him home. Where he slept and ate and wore yoga pants. It was just bad luck that she'd also shown up while he was eating ice cream straight from the carton. Not his best moment by far. Finn had let her in because he didn't know what else to do. And let's face it, if Sue Sylvester comes to your door and demands to be let in, you let her in. She's strode right into the living room where Kurt was lounged against the armrest, legs draped lazily over the couch cushions. The look she'd given him had him sitting army straight in less than a second.
The two of them then spent the next few seconds staring at each other. No words. It was silent except for the harping in the background from Kurt's recorded Project Runway. Finn kept to himself somewhere out of sight. It was a smart move.
“So Porcelain, I've heard that you turned into a pig.”
“Yes. I thought at this point that would be obvious.”
“You'd think so but the change was so subtle I barely noticed it. I seem to recall telling you to lose the weight on your freakish pear hips not to long ago.”
Kurt frowned and pouted his lips, looking down at his carton of ice cream. That wasn't really fair. He hadn't had his growth spurt then. He wasn't fat now was he? “I...I really don't think that's fair coach.”
Sue crossed her arms and scowled while looking up and down Kurt's hunched form. “I let you wear that Cheerios uniform and lead you into winning a national title and you thank me by quitting?”
“Well technically I lead you to a national title.”
Sue tossed her head to the side. “Semantics.” She raised her chin and stared down at him like she was trying to see straight through into his soul. “Why'd you quit Porcelain?”
Kurt sighed and relaxed. He did quit. She didn't have any actual power over him. It would be worth hearing her verbal vomit to be comfortable during it. “It wasn't me I guess.”
“You guess? You guess? You quit my Cheerios on a guess? And what are you Porcelain?”
Kurt shrugged. “A pig.”
Sue scoffed and threw her arms out to the sides. “You weren't a pig when you quit. Although I'm still not sure how I didn't see it coming.”
“I'm an outcast. I'm a theater kid not an athlete. I want to be able to eat a slice of pizza without wanting to kill myself.”
“And?”
Kurt scowled. “And I want to avoid the locker room. As nice as it was to not be slushied in the uniform it wasn't worth the pay off. I was too busy. I couldn't wear my own clothes. And walking into the locker room made me feel like a target. There, happy? I'm a lazy coward who didn't deserve to wear the uniform.”
Sue stepped closer and bent at the waist until she was nose to nose with him. Her bushy raccoon tail swayed slowly from side to side. It unnerved Kurt a little, that her tail could be so calm while her face was so serious. “You are one of the best kids I ever had on my squad and I regret the day I let your wide Disney baby eyes persuade me into letting you quit.”
Kurt blinked, slow and long. “So you want me back?”
“No. Your time has come and gone Porcelain.”
“Because pigs are fat lazy sloppy babies?”
Sue stood and started making her way towards the door. As she opened it she turned her head back. “Because you're baby potbelly pig looks will make all the female judges useless.” With that Sue slammed the door and was gone. It was all very quick and very unnecessary.
He couldn't understand why she would spend so much time scouting him out if she knew she wouldn't use him. Brittany was under the impression that she was concerned about how he was handling things. And well, that was just absurd.
0o0o0o0o0o0
I actually loved Kurt as a Cheerio. Not the whole starving himself thing, but the uniform and the routines. And I love that he's Sue's soft spot. I honestly had no idea what to make Sue but I figure Raccoons are smart and devious so it's an okay fit.
Summary: Kurt still doesn't understand how Sue works.
Words: 880 (Super short I'm sorry)
Rating: G
A/N: It's very super short I'm sorry. But I've been busy with my legal class and the longer ones just have to wait until I finish up this case study. But we get a quick look at Sue.
0o0o0o0o0o0
As it turned out, being a pig did dissuade Sue Sylvester from recruiting Kurt for the Cheerios. But not for the reasons he would have suspected. In all honesty he wasn't quite sure what happened or what Sue was thinking. Like ever. But it boiled down to Kurt being not on the Cheerios but still decidedly within the group of people Sue still tolerated. It would be touching if Kurt weren't still mildly terrified.
It all started the day he went back to school after his transformation. Unbeknownst to him, Sue had several Cheerios trail him through out the week that followed to check his habits, complexion, and reflexes. Whatever their preliminary criteria was, he'd passed it. The next step in Sue's plan, which Kurt was only able to speculate on as she still wouldn't come clean, was verifying this all for herself. Which would explain the few times she stopped by glee practice without warning and the sudden string of minor problems with her car. Once she'd been sure that her Cheerios hadn't reported back with false or skewed information, she made a very uncomfortable visit to his house.
She came to him home. Where he slept and ate and wore yoga pants. It was just bad luck that she'd also shown up while he was eating ice cream straight from the carton. Not his best moment by far. Finn had let her in because he didn't know what else to do. And let's face it, if Sue Sylvester comes to your door and demands to be let in, you let her in. She's strode right into the living room where Kurt was lounged against the armrest, legs draped lazily over the couch cushions. The look she'd given him had him sitting army straight in less than a second.
The two of them then spent the next few seconds staring at each other. No words. It was silent except for the harping in the background from Kurt's recorded Project Runway. Finn kept to himself somewhere out of sight. It was a smart move.
“So Porcelain, I've heard that you turned into a pig.”
“Yes. I thought at this point that would be obvious.”
“You'd think so but the change was so subtle I barely noticed it. I seem to recall telling you to lose the weight on your freakish pear hips not to long ago.”
Kurt frowned and pouted his lips, looking down at his carton of ice cream. That wasn't really fair. He hadn't had his growth spurt then. He wasn't fat now was he? “I...I really don't think that's fair coach.”
Sue crossed her arms and scowled while looking up and down Kurt's hunched form. “I let you wear that Cheerios uniform and lead you into winning a national title and you thank me by quitting?”
“Well technically I lead you to a national title.”
Sue tossed her head to the side. “Semantics.” She raised her chin and stared down at him like she was trying to see straight through into his soul. “Why'd you quit Porcelain?”
Kurt sighed and relaxed. He did quit. She didn't have any actual power over him. It would be worth hearing her verbal vomit to be comfortable during it. “It wasn't me I guess.”
“You guess? You guess? You quit my Cheerios on a guess? And what are you Porcelain?”
Kurt shrugged. “A pig.”
Sue scoffed and threw her arms out to the sides. “You weren't a pig when you quit. Although I'm still not sure how I didn't see it coming.”
“I'm an outcast. I'm a theater kid not an athlete. I want to be able to eat a slice of pizza without wanting to kill myself.”
“And?”
Kurt scowled. “And I want to avoid the locker room. As nice as it was to not be slushied in the uniform it wasn't worth the pay off. I was too busy. I couldn't wear my own clothes. And walking into the locker room made me feel like a target. There, happy? I'm a lazy coward who didn't deserve to wear the uniform.”
Sue stepped closer and bent at the waist until she was nose to nose with him. Her bushy raccoon tail swayed slowly from side to side. It unnerved Kurt a little, that her tail could be so calm while her face was so serious. “You are one of the best kids I ever had on my squad and I regret the day I let your wide Disney baby eyes persuade me into letting you quit.”
Kurt blinked, slow and long. “So you want me back?”
“No. Your time has come and gone Porcelain.”
“Because pigs are fat lazy sloppy babies?”
Sue stood and started making her way towards the door. As she opened it she turned her head back. “Because you're baby potbelly pig looks will make all the female judges useless.” With that Sue slammed the door and was gone. It was all very quick and very unnecessary.
He couldn't understand why she would spend so much time scouting him out if she knew she wouldn't use him. Brittany was under the impression that she was concerned about how he was handling things. And well, that was just absurd.
0o0o0o0o0o0
I actually loved Kurt as a Cheerio. Not the whole starving himself thing, but the uniform and the routines. And I love that he's Sue's soft spot. I honestly had no idea what to make Sue but I figure Raccoons are smart and devious so it's an okay fit.