(no subject)
I've known for awhile that I'm not actually living on the inside. Everything is dead. And it will continue to be. Everytime I feel like something inside of me is awakening, I just get pulled back down to reality and realize that I'm not that kind of person. I cannot pretend to be happy anymore. I cannot pretend that I even like myself a little bit, or enjoy my surroundings. This is not a cry for help. This is just me facing the facts. I've tried for so long to flush these exact thoughts out of my mind, but, apparently it doesn't work like that. So, I'll continue to be miserable while you continue to be happy. You really deserve it.