Monikertastrophe
So today a bunch of kids from the Allendale Recreation Center (roughly Macarthur and 35th) showed up at the boathouse to take some pedalboats and kayaks out on the lake. The kids were maybe six to ten years old, and their counselors weren't the most capable human beings I've ever met, so the kids were generally a hassle; it took me a good twenty or thirty minutes to corral them all into their boats. This was a pain in the ass, but the annoyance was easily outweighed by the fact that some of these boys had the silliest names I had ever heard. I don't know how they spell any of these, but here were some of the best:
- "Jaelyn," pronounced like jailin'. Probably the most normal of the names I heard. Odds are that it may be sadly prophetic.
- "Raymontay." I guess plain old Raymond just doesn't cut it anymore.
- "Okwas," pronounced oh-kwoss, stress on the second syllable. I actually verified the spelling on this one, and when one of the counselors asked me if I thought it was weird, I told him it was "very unique."
- "Keotis," pronounced kee-oh-tis. I think he was Okwas' cousin. Corruption of coyote, maybe?
- "Leondre," last syllable pronounced like "dray." I've heard this one before, but it's worth a mention. I think he was another cousin of Keotis and Okwas, or maybe just a cuzzo. One can never be sure.
- "Molokai." Easily my favorite. For reference, Molokai is one of the more obscure islands of Hawaii. Conceived there, maybe?
What were the parents thinking? How about the nurse who filled out the birth certificate? The teachers? The future employers? Let's get real, East Oakland.
- "Jaelyn," pronounced like jailin'. Probably the most normal of the names I heard. Odds are that it may be sadly prophetic.
- "Raymontay." I guess plain old Raymond just doesn't cut it anymore.
- "Okwas," pronounced oh-kwoss, stress on the second syllable. I actually verified the spelling on this one, and when one of the counselors asked me if I thought it was weird, I told him it was "very unique."
- "Keotis," pronounced kee-oh-tis. I think he was Okwas' cousin. Corruption of coyote, maybe?
- "Leondre," last syllable pronounced like "dray." I've heard this one before, but it's worth a mention. I think he was another cousin of Keotis and Okwas, or maybe just a cuzzo. One can never be sure.
- "Molokai." Easily my favorite. For reference, Molokai is one of the more obscure islands of Hawaii. Conceived there, maybe?
What were the parents thinking? How about the nurse who filled out the birth certificate? The teachers? The future employers? Let's get real, East Oakland.