(no subject)
Okay, just a warning. I am going to sound horribly whiny in this.
But I just have to let it out somewhere.
I know this is probably not a new story, and most people will tell me it's just in my imagination, but I feel like it is very much the case that my parents treat my younger sister a good deal better than me.
It all started off with the fact that my sister had the same bedtimes and curfews than me although she is two years younger. Anyways I didn't care that much. But what then started to get to me, was when she suddenly had a later curfew then me. Basically I had to be home at midnight and she was allowed to stay out until 2 a.m.
I talked to my parents and told them that I thought this was unfair and they told me that it was a one time deal. It wasn't. Whenever I would then talk to them, I was told to stop whining.
Another case are grades. I graduated this year with really good grades. I was especially proud of the A+ in English. The only grade that was only average but still better than most people was the B- in maths. My parents didn't care about my grades at all. The only comment I got was that I should be ashamed over the terrible math grade.
My sister brought just finished her 10th grade with a C average. They praised her for being so good in school and making them proud.
When I turned 16 my parents started to force me to get a job during the holidays every year. Whether I wanted or needed the money didn't matter. I had to go to work, so I "didn't sit around at home all day". My sister turned 16 these year. She did not have to apply anywhere. Instead my parents bought her an iPhone. (I had to pay mine myself.)
My sister thinks about dropping out of school although she does now know what she wants to so afterwards. My parents support her.
I applied to med school. I admit, I have no real plan what I'll do when I don't get in, but I have some ideas like working at the hospital or maybe an internship or something and trying again in spring. My parents spend every day telling me what a horrible and lazy daughter I am because I have no "useful" idea what I'll do if I get no place at school.
And quite a couple more small things.
And I just feel so sad all the time, because it feels like whatever I do it won't ever get any appreciation from my parents and my sister doesn't even have to try. Just once I wish I'd get a "you did great" or something from them, but every time I think I finally did something perfectly they find something that's wrong with it and I am the horrible and useless child again. And I just can't take it anymore. You have no idea how much I wish and pray for a place at school. Just so I can move out (and yes, my parents won't like that either because they will have to help to pay for school, but at least I won't have to listen to it every day) and finally maybe manage to get something done without being torn down for it, while watching my sister be praised for something she didn't put even half as much effort into.