Prelude to a Bad Day
journal entry from september 6...oh how accurate my premonitions were...
school is pure evil. it takes everything from you. your freedom, time, life, sanity, and friends. things that are expected to be taken are quickly removed from our hands. other things, however, things we were going to hold onto forever, are slowly and silently being taken from our grasp. it's torture. it's like right when we have something good, school steps in as the number one priority and obligation. i hate it. right when we think everything's perfect.
maybe i'm taking it too much to heart. maybe i'm overanalyzing. i'm going to get sick from the fluctuation of my moods. maybe mrs. vest was right. maybe i am bipolar.
i just want school to be over with. then i can dump all these bullets laced with bullshit on the old generations so they can then shoot those unfortunate ones below me.
all of my friends will go their own way, then at least our falling out can be blamed on something legitimate. i have to keep reminding myself to live for me and let no one get in my way. my best friend even told me that last night. maybe that was a sign, a bad omen. i just fear being lonely.
what is the point of it all? we're here to be tested but our grade is already known. disappointments are thrown at us left and right and all we have are two hands and a small heart to catch and accept them.
petals continue to fall off of this floating rose and i already broke its glass case.
i've got everything but i can't stay happy. oh my life...the cliche.
"i'm sorry i had a bad day again"
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that was a very bad day. but i'm not letting anyone go. i'll fight. even when we all graduate. i'll fight.
--rebecca
school is pure evil. it takes everything from you. your freedom, time, life, sanity, and friends. things that are expected to be taken are quickly removed from our hands. other things, however, things we were going to hold onto forever, are slowly and silently being taken from our grasp. it's torture. it's like right when we have something good, school steps in as the number one priority and obligation. i hate it. right when we think everything's perfect.
maybe i'm taking it too much to heart. maybe i'm overanalyzing. i'm going to get sick from the fluctuation of my moods. maybe mrs. vest was right. maybe i am bipolar.
i just want school to be over with. then i can dump all these bullets laced with bullshit on the old generations so they can then shoot those unfortunate ones below me.
all of my friends will go their own way, then at least our falling out can be blamed on something legitimate. i have to keep reminding myself to live for me and let no one get in my way. my best friend even told me that last night. maybe that was a sign, a bad omen. i just fear being lonely.
what is the point of it all? we're here to be tested but our grade is already known. disappointments are thrown at us left and right and all we have are two hands and a small heart to catch and accept them.
petals continue to fall off of this floating rose and i already broke its glass case.
i've got everything but i can't stay happy. oh my life...the cliche.
"i'm sorry i had a bad day again"
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
that was a very bad day. but i'm not letting anyone go. i'll fight. even when we all graduate. i'll fight.
--rebecca