sounds like someone else's song from a long time ago.

[ncseventeen]

I can feel the weight of school's return already. the constant reading, midterms, papers. trying to connect with classmates and teachers and make each day even slightly more bearable. coming home feeling defeated and exhausted every day. although, I suppose I'm already doing that. I still work at the hospital but after three years, every day feels like a battle. every day is a test of my patience and strength. it's not easy. I come home and I can barely walk. sometimes I'm so mad I want to blow through my house like a hurricane and destroy everything in my path. most days I want to forget work, just sleep in, turn my phone off, make a big breakfast, and then hop on a train going anywhere and never come back. I want an apartment for dirt cheap in a town where everyone isn't so fucking loud, where a beer doesn't cost seven dollars at a bar and I don't have to feel like I'm being judged all the time.

I want to feel what being me was like before because these days I don't feel like much of anything.