eh
I feel nearly nothing for people. true, I do have a couple of dear friends and I love big social situations, but when I find myself in a rare state of sobriety, I become completely intolerant of those around me. I am insufferably apathetic. I can hold a conversation well enough.. for a while.. but I don't really feel as if I'm doing the talking. it's programmed, I think. I may respond to things alright, but I honestly have no idea what is going on half the time. I get caught off-guard being asked questions that seem out of the blue, but are really continuations of twenty-minute-long stories that I somehow forgot to listen to. a good looking boy might kiss me and touch me and my body simply stiffens and goes numb; not in repulsion or shock, but in pure apathy. what happened to me?
tomorrow might be better, but tonight.. I am just alone and empty in a big dark house.
tomorrow might be better, but tonight.. I am just alone and empty in a big dark house.