Grey's Anatomy and Life
On a fairly recent episode of Grey's Anatomy, one character said something that had particular relevance to my evening last night. She said something to the effect that when a person has a relationship end and then that person's friends tell him/her that he/she is better off, could do better, was too good for the other one, etc that it isn't being supportive it's being condescending. As she said it I realized that I kinda agree. I know that friends are really trying to be nice and supportive, but the underlying meaning of such words is that the person was blind, foolish, etc for being with their ex-significant other in the first place.
Why do I bring this up now?
We had our first holiday party last night for Squid's. There hasn't been one in years due to drinking and driving incidents many many years ago. Evan wasn't up for going so I went with a friend of mine, Brook. I was having a nice time chatting and visiting until Will showed up with his new girlfriend. Apparently I was the last to know that he had one. For those who don't know or might need some refreshing, here is a quick summary of my relationship with Will. We dated for nearly three years a few years ago. We even lived together for a year. He broke up with me (but I knew it had to happen because neither of us was happy.) We still had to work together, and still do, but for the most part things weren't that bad. Until I starting dating other people. Then he became really mean. Despite this, I still cared about him and still wanted him to be happy, so I did things for him that no one else would. Just over a year ago, he got into an accident while drunk and got taken to jail. I bailed him out and stayed with him all night while he was sick and trying to kill himself. That was one of the hardest nights I have ever had to live through. Then, I drove him to work and the store for a month since he lost his license. We hung out and things seemed OK. Then I started dating Evan, and Will got mean again. For over a year now he has chosen either not to talk to me at all, or to make rude, inappropriate comments to me or about me while at work. I've finally gotten to where it doesn't bother me quite that much. I still wanted to be there for him since he doesnt really have many friends and hasnt dated since we broke up. Until now, that is. So, he showed up with this girl and proceeded to kiss her in front of everyone every chance he got. And, I admit it felt weird seeing that, but I don't have any interest in him in that way, so it didnt really bother me until other people had to pipe up. I had atleast 4 people say something like, "you are prettier than her," "he didn't know how great you are and didnt deserve you," and my favorite, "we all wondered why you were ever with him in the first place." These comments really got to me. I started reliving all the drama of the past several years and got sad (as I often do after having a few drinks anyway). I felt like I had wasted years being with someone and caring for someone that everyone else knew wasn't the right guy for me, and who didn't give a damn that I had made so many sacrifices for him. I just felt foolish and sad.
Then, to end the night with a flourish, I found out that my ride's car would not start. And would anyone give me a ride two miles back to my car??? NO. I had to share a taxi, pay $10 to go two miles, drive back to get my friend who got her car towed, drive her to Hillsborough, then drive myself back to Raleigh. I didn't get home until about 4am. Now I have to turn around and go back to work and see Will and everyone else. I remember now why I don't like to go out and drink with the people I work with.
Sorry for the long rambling post. I just needed to get all that out. I've been dealing with emotions pertaining to Will for a long time now. I just want to be over it...but something won't let me. I feel like I gotta keep caring and being there for him, as I do for many people that really don't care about me at all.
Why do I bring this up now?
We had our first holiday party last night for Squid's. There hasn't been one in years due to drinking and driving incidents many many years ago. Evan wasn't up for going so I went with a friend of mine, Brook. I was having a nice time chatting and visiting until Will showed up with his new girlfriend. Apparently I was the last to know that he had one. For those who don't know or might need some refreshing, here is a quick summary of my relationship with Will. We dated for nearly three years a few years ago. We even lived together for a year. He broke up with me (but I knew it had to happen because neither of us was happy.) We still had to work together, and still do, but for the most part things weren't that bad. Until I starting dating other people. Then he became really mean. Despite this, I still cared about him and still wanted him to be happy, so I did things for him that no one else would. Just over a year ago, he got into an accident while drunk and got taken to jail. I bailed him out and stayed with him all night while he was sick and trying to kill himself. That was one of the hardest nights I have ever had to live through. Then, I drove him to work and the store for a month since he lost his license. We hung out and things seemed OK. Then I started dating Evan, and Will got mean again. For over a year now he has chosen either not to talk to me at all, or to make rude, inappropriate comments to me or about me while at work. I've finally gotten to where it doesn't bother me quite that much. I still wanted to be there for him since he doesnt really have many friends and hasnt dated since we broke up. Until now, that is. So, he showed up with this girl and proceeded to kiss her in front of everyone every chance he got. And, I admit it felt weird seeing that, but I don't have any interest in him in that way, so it didnt really bother me until other people had to pipe up. I had atleast 4 people say something like, "you are prettier than her," "he didn't know how great you are and didnt deserve you," and my favorite, "we all wondered why you were ever with him in the first place." These comments really got to me. I started reliving all the drama of the past several years and got sad (as I often do after having a few drinks anyway). I felt like I had wasted years being with someone and caring for someone that everyone else knew wasn't the right guy for me, and who didn't give a damn that I had made so many sacrifices for him. I just felt foolish and sad.
Then, to end the night with a flourish, I found out that my ride's car would not start. And would anyone give me a ride two miles back to my car??? NO. I had to share a taxi, pay $10 to go two miles, drive back to get my friend who got her car towed, drive her to Hillsborough, then drive myself back to Raleigh. I didn't get home until about 4am. Now I have to turn around and go back to work and see Will and everyone else. I remember now why I don't like to go out and drink with the people I work with.
Sorry for the long rambling post. I just needed to get all that out. I've been dealing with emotions pertaining to Will for a long time now. I just want to be over it...but something won't let me. I feel like I gotta keep caring and being there for him, as I do for many people that really don't care about me at all.