Choices by leoraine
Title: Choices
Character(s): Tony DiNozzo, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Dr.Ducky Mallard
Genre(s): Missing scene, angst
Episode(s): Requiem
Word Count: 1500
Gibbs wasn't dead.
Two agents came rushing down the pier, but Tony didn't care. All he cared about was that Gibbs' chest continued to rise and fall, that his eyes weren't staring deadly into the sky anymore.
He would've kept watching forever, if not for the nagging voice coming from his left, asking if he was alright and shaking his shoulder. Just like that, Tony blinked and the world came back to focus.
"Ambulance?" Tony asked, his voice breathless and strangely hollow.
"On the way," the probie said, frowning. "Are you okay, Tony?" he asked, awaiting a litany of whines about ruined shoes and wet clothes, but getting only a simple nod in reply. McGee and Ziva exchanged a worried look, but Tony didn't care, because Gibbs and the girl were alive.
While Gibbs was speaking quietly to Maddie, reassuring himself she was alright, Tony stood up. McGee grabbed his arm when the world momentarily swayed, and Tony gave an appreciative smile, but saved his breath for more important things. Like telling the EMT's how long were Gibbs and Maddie under water, or explaining Ziva that the bullets in the dead guys came from his gun.
There were more questions and he was actually glad when the EMT asked him if he would ride in the ambulance to get checked out too, because McCareful uttered something about plague. Taking a look around and seeing the approaching Director, he thought it wouldn't be such a bad escape. So he nodded and climbed in, unexplainably happy that he was sharing the ride with Maddie, not Gibbs.
Maddie was lying on the gurney, breathing in the oxygen from a mask, throwing puzzled looks toward Tony, who was resting on the bench, eyes locked at an invisible point on the wall, lost in thoughts, not even aware that his body started shivering under wet clothes. He couldn't get rid of the image of Gibbs staring at him with dead eyes and he bit his lip hard only to remind himself that it wasn't real, that Gibbs was alive. He wasn't even aware that the ambulance came to a stop, until the door opened and he was asked to step out so they could take the girl. Blinking, Tony stood up only to be halted by a hand on his arm.
"Wait, agent-?" Maddie was looking at him with unsure eyes.
"DiNozzo. But call me Tony."
"I... I don't know what really happened, but-" she paused, giving him a searching look. "I know you saved us. Just wanted to say... thanks."
Tony froze, feeling something hard clench his gut. Because Gibbs made a mistake and Tony realized how little separated this girl from death. He wanted to shout, to beat some sense into the stubborn marine, instead he locked the feelings away and smiled.
"You're welcome, Maddie."
He then climbed out of the car, keeping a reassuring smile on his face until the girl vanished behind one of the ER curtains, while he was pointed to another. He kept on his smile when the doctor checked him out, flirted with the nurse and looked remotely happy when he was given a pair of dry scrubs.
After assuring the doctor that he will come back if he even sniffles, Tony walked out of the exam room with a clean bill of health. He was still smiling when he entered the men's room, waiting till an old guy finished and left. Then the smile slipped from his face. The bag with his still wet clothes fell from his hand and Tony wearily leaned against the sink.
The adrenaline long gone, with no need for pretense, Tony hung his head and closed his eyes, only to shoot them open a second later and dash to the nearest toilet as he was hit by a wave of nausea.
It was too close. Gibbs should've been dead. Hell, last time Tony checked, the man was dead, yet by some miracle, he started breathing again. Even if Tony let him go.
The poor bastard didn't die.
"Has more lives than a damn cat," Tony muttered when he finally stopped retching and couldn't stop the chuckle. "Stubborn bastard," he added without humor and leant back in the stall, head banging against the wall.
Wasn't that the reason why they were here? Because Gibbs was too stubborn to ask for help? Tony growled and hit the floor with his fist.
He was angry and hurt,because after all these years, Gibbs still thought that doing it alone was the right thing and Tony didn't know how to change that. All he knew was that sitting on the floor in a toilet wasn't doing much for his temper and that he didn't want to keep going on as if everything was fine in the Gibbsland. Maybe it was time to talk with the boss.
-
Unknown to Tony, he wasn't the only person wanting to give Gibbs a piece of his mind. It was just luck that Ducky managed to get to him first. Gibbs barely finished glaring at his doctor for even mentioning spending the night under observation, when Ducky stormed in and reamed him a good one for going after Maddie alone.
"Tell me one reason why you didn't call back up, Jethro. One good reason," Ducky insisted and Gibbs tried to dissuade him with one of his warning looks, but Ducky only glared back and Gibbs relented.
"I didn't want to endanger them. It was my case."
"There's no I in the team, Jethro, you especially should know that," Ducky said. "And how is you and Maddie trapped in a sinking car with Anthony as the only rescuer not endangering them? Do you know how much it must've taken out of the boy to dunk into that water twice with his lungs? And then give you both CPR? It was a miracle you all survived!"
"I know that damn well, Duck," Gibbs growled, then sighed. "Is DiNozzo okay?"
"I'm fine," Tony said, his head peeking into the room before entering. Both Gibbs and Ducky gave him an appraising look and Tony instinctively straightened, raising his chin.
"Doesn't look like," Gibbs muttered with a frown.
"Looks can be deceiving," Tony bit back and Ducky nervously cleared his throat. He felt something was amiss and didn't want to be around for the talk that was sure to come.
"I should check on Maddie, see if she doesn't need anything. When you'll both be ready to depart you know where to find me." Not waiting for an acknowledgment, Ducky left the two men alone.
"Are you really cleared with the doctor, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked.
"You're the right one to ask," Tony snorted and started pacing the room. He was angry and ready to blow, and Gibbs knew it.
"You know, I was ready to charge in here and tell you exactly what I thought about how you handled this case, but then I heard I wasn't the first one who got that idea," Tony gave a small chuckle and stopped his pacing, looking out of the window. "I still think it was a damn stupid thing to do this alone, but I kinda get where you're coming from. It was just like with Ari and Kate. A personal vendetta."
"If you understand, why are you so angry, Tony?" The question was given calmly, but Tony swirled around and Gibbs jerked. There was that look in Tony's eyes. The one Gibbs saw last year when the Grenouille mission blow up, when Jenny asked Tony on Jeanne's reaction. The look that once made Gibbs proud. He never thought he would be on the receiving end once.
"Why are you angry DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked again and this time Tony answered.
"I'm so fucking angry because you forced me to choose! I'm so mad, because you weren't breathing, and I choose Maddie. Do you know how fucking hard it was?!" Tony shouted, crossing the room and standing only inches from Gibbs.
"I thought I let you die, you bastard," Tony added, his voice all but a whisper now, suddenly all the fight leaving his body and Gibbs had to steady him when he swayed. "Don't ever make me choose again, Gibbs. I don't know if I'll be able to do it right." Tony sagged more and Gibbs maneuvered him into a nearby chair.
"Hey," he said and gripped Tony's chin, until he was sure he had his attention. "I wouldn't want you to choose different. You did well today and I'm proud of you. I know it wasn't easy and I can't promise you wouldn't have to make the same choice in the future. But I trust you to choose well. Do you understand?" He held Tony's gaze until he felt the man nod, then with a sigh let go.
"Boss?" Tony asked, his voice suddenly timid.
"Yes, DiNozzo?"
"Can I have it in writing?" he asked with a grin and didn't even try to duck the following headslap.
Character(s): Tony DiNozzo, Leroy Jethro Gibbs, Dr.Ducky Mallard
Genre(s): Missing scene, angst
Episode(s): Requiem
Word Count: 1500
Gibbs wasn't dead.
Two agents came rushing down the pier, but Tony didn't care. All he cared about was that Gibbs' chest continued to rise and fall, that his eyes weren't staring deadly into the sky anymore.
He would've kept watching forever, if not for the nagging voice coming from his left, asking if he was alright and shaking his shoulder. Just like that, Tony blinked and the world came back to focus.
"Ambulance?" Tony asked, his voice breathless and strangely hollow.
"On the way," the probie said, frowning. "Are you okay, Tony?" he asked, awaiting a litany of whines about ruined shoes and wet clothes, but getting only a simple nod in reply. McGee and Ziva exchanged a worried look, but Tony didn't care, because Gibbs and the girl were alive.
While Gibbs was speaking quietly to Maddie, reassuring himself she was alright, Tony stood up. McGee grabbed his arm when the world momentarily swayed, and Tony gave an appreciative smile, but saved his breath for more important things. Like telling the EMT's how long were Gibbs and Maddie under water, or explaining Ziva that the bullets in the dead guys came from his gun.
There were more questions and he was actually glad when the EMT asked him if he would ride in the ambulance to get checked out too, because McCareful uttered something about plague. Taking a look around and seeing the approaching Director, he thought it wouldn't be such a bad escape. So he nodded and climbed in, unexplainably happy that he was sharing the ride with Maddie, not Gibbs.
Maddie was lying on the gurney, breathing in the oxygen from a mask, throwing puzzled looks toward Tony, who was resting on the bench, eyes locked at an invisible point on the wall, lost in thoughts, not even aware that his body started shivering under wet clothes. He couldn't get rid of the image of Gibbs staring at him with dead eyes and he bit his lip hard only to remind himself that it wasn't real, that Gibbs was alive. He wasn't even aware that the ambulance came to a stop, until the door opened and he was asked to step out so they could take the girl. Blinking, Tony stood up only to be halted by a hand on his arm.
"Wait, agent-?" Maddie was looking at him with unsure eyes.
"DiNozzo. But call me Tony."
"I... I don't know what really happened, but-" she paused, giving him a searching look. "I know you saved us. Just wanted to say... thanks."
Tony froze, feeling something hard clench his gut. Because Gibbs made a mistake and Tony realized how little separated this girl from death. He wanted to shout, to beat some sense into the stubborn marine, instead he locked the feelings away and smiled.
"You're welcome, Maddie."
He then climbed out of the car, keeping a reassuring smile on his face until the girl vanished behind one of the ER curtains, while he was pointed to another. He kept on his smile when the doctor checked him out, flirted with the nurse and looked remotely happy when he was given a pair of dry scrubs.
After assuring the doctor that he will come back if he even sniffles, Tony walked out of the exam room with a clean bill of health. He was still smiling when he entered the men's room, waiting till an old guy finished and left. Then the smile slipped from his face. The bag with his still wet clothes fell from his hand and Tony wearily leaned against the sink.
The adrenaline long gone, with no need for pretense, Tony hung his head and closed his eyes, only to shoot them open a second later and dash to the nearest toilet as he was hit by a wave of nausea.
It was too close. Gibbs should've been dead. Hell, last time Tony checked, the man was dead, yet by some miracle, he started breathing again. Even if Tony let him go.
The poor bastard didn't die.
"Has more lives than a damn cat," Tony muttered when he finally stopped retching and couldn't stop the chuckle. "Stubborn bastard," he added without humor and leant back in the stall, head banging against the wall.
Wasn't that the reason why they were here? Because Gibbs was too stubborn to ask for help? Tony growled and hit the floor with his fist.
He was angry and hurt,because after all these years, Gibbs still thought that doing it alone was the right thing and Tony didn't know how to change that. All he knew was that sitting on the floor in a toilet wasn't doing much for his temper and that he didn't want to keep going on as if everything was fine in the Gibbsland. Maybe it was time to talk with the boss.
-
Unknown to Tony, he wasn't the only person wanting to give Gibbs a piece of his mind. It was just luck that Ducky managed to get to him first. Gibbs barely finished glaring at his doctor for even mentioning spending the night under observation, when Ducky stormed in and reamed him a good one for going after Maddie alone.
"Tell me one reason why you didn't call back up, Jethro. One good reason," Ducky insisted and Gibbs tried to dissuade him with one of his warning looks, but Ducky only glared back and Gibbs relented.
"I didn't want to endanger them. It was my case."
"There's no I in the team, Jethro, you especially should know that," Ducky said. "And how is you and Maddie trapped in a sinking car with Anthony as the only rescuer not endangering them? Do you know how much it must've taken out of the boy to dunk into that water twice with his lungs? And then give you both CPR? It was a miracle you all survived!"
"I know that damn well, Duck," Gibbs growled, then sighed. "Is DiNozzo okay?"
"I'm fine," Tony said, his head peeking into the room before entering. Both Gibbs and Ducky gave him an appraising look and Tony instinctively straightened, raising his chin.
"Doesn't look like," Gibbs muttered with a frown.
"Looks can be deceiving," Tony bit back and Ducky nervously cleared his throat. He felt something was amiss and didn't want to be around for the talk that was sure to come.
"I should check on Maddie, see if she doesn't need anything. When you'll both be ready to depart you know where to find me." Not waiting for an acknowledgment, Ducky left the two men alone.
"Are you really cleared with the doctor, DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked.
"You're the right one to ask," Tony snorted and started pacing the room. He was angry and ready to blow, and Gibbs knew it.
"You know, I was ready to charge in here and tell you exactly what I thought about how you handled this case, but then I heard I wasn't the first one who got that idea," Tony gave a small chuckle and stopped his pacing, looking out of the window. "I still think it was a damn stupid thing to do this alone, but I kinda get where you're coming from. It was just like with Ari and Kate. A personal vendetta."
"If you understand, why are you so angry, Tony?" The question was given calmly, but Tony swirled around and Gibbs jerked. There was that look in Tony's eyes. The one Gibbs saw last year when the Grenouille mission blow up, when Jenny asked Tony on Jeanne's reaction. The look that once made Gibbs proud. He never thought he would be on the receiving end once.
"Why are you angry DiNozzo?" Gibbs asked again and this time Tony answered.
"I'm so fucking angry because you forced me to choose! I'm so mad, because you weren't breathing, and I choose Maddie. Do you know how fucking hard it was?!" Tony shouted, crossing the room and standing only inches from Gibbs.
"I thought I let you die, you bastard," Tony added, his voice all but a whisper now, suddenly all the fight leaving his body and Gibbs had to steady him when he swayed. "Don't ever make me choose again, Gibbs. I don't know if I'll be able to do it right." Tony sagged more and Gibbs maneuvered him into a nearby chair.
"Hey," he said and gripped Tony's chin, until he was sure he had his attention. "I wouldn't want you to choose different. You did well today and I'm proud of you. I know it wasn't easy and I can't promise you wouldn't have to make the same choice in the future. But I trust you to choose well. Do you understand?" He held Tony's gaze until he felt the man nod, then with a sigh let go.
"Boss?" Tony asked, his voice suddenly timid.
"Yes, DiNozzo?"
"Can I have it in writing?" he asked with a grin and didn't even try to duck the following headslap.