Fiction. Four Emails Gibbs Still Hasn't Read (And One He Has)
Just a little festive plot bunny that had been nagging at me over the past week. I am a bit rusty with Gibbs/Ducky so hopefully it turned out OK :-)
TITLE: Four Emails Gibbs Still Hasn't Read (And One He Has)
AUTHOR: lonelywalker
PAIRING: Gibbs/Ducky (more friendship than slash)
GENRE: Gen.
SPOILERS: General hints at S4 plotlines. Mention made of the events of Hiatus.
SUMMARY: A glimpse into Gibbs' overflowing email inbox, just prior to Christmas.
DISCLAIMER: The characters are, sadly, not mine. I am, equally sadly, not making any money out of them.
Four Emails Gibbs Still Hasn’t Read (And One He Has)
1.
To: Gibbs, L.J.
From: David, Z.
Subject: Vacation Time
Gibbs,
Agent Lee has just informed me that I am the only field agent who has signed up to be on duty during your religious holiday season. I attempted to remind her that I am not an NCIS agent, or even an American citizen. It is very kind that everyone believes that I am now “one of the team” but I do not think that it is correct in any way for an agent of the Mossad to be the only person in the office in case of emergency. Agent DiNozzo has already repeatedly told me that if there is a terrorist attack anywhere in the country over this time, he will tell Director Shepard that it is, and I quote from his email, “all your fault”.
Therefore, I am requesting that you also sign up for the holiday shifts. My observation of your previous vacation time has been that it has not been taken, so it is obvious that you have no family obligations. Abby has told me that Christmas mainly involves the consumption of poultry and the erection of a tree. Since I have seen no evidence that you have an erection, it would be better that you spend your time at the office. I have many strategic plans about which I wish to get your input. I also have no idea why Agent DiNozzo believes that this email is so amusing.
Please amend your schedule and alarm me of its new status.
Officer Z. David
2.
To: Gibbs, L.J.
From: DiNozzo, A.
Subject: [no subject]
Boss,
I don’t know if you ever check this. Probably not. I guess if you see the email’s from me you won’t open it anyway. But here’s the thing. Ever since you retired I’ve been… Well, there’s stuff you don’t know about, boss. I mean, I guess you probably know you don’t know. You’re Gibbs. You always know. Maybe you even know, if you know what I mean. But just in case you don’t…
There’s this girl, Boss. I know what you’ll say. There’s always a girl. Right. But this is about more than that. And I really think I need to talk to you about it before… Well, before anything happens. Maybe you’ll just laugh and say I’m an idiot, but I think that might make me feel better too. I mean how desperate am I to be asking dating advice from you?
Uh. I didn’t mean it like that, Boss. Anyway, I think I’ll just come by sometime at Christmas and talk it over with you. I know you don’t exactly have anywhere else to be. I’ll bring the beer and maybe we can figure some things out.
Tony
3.
To: Gibbs, L.J.
From: Phineas Huckleberry
Subject: enhanz ur performanz!
fEln lonely DIS xbo? U R 1 LckE mang! sgn ^ nw & we cn provide U w a lifetime of plSUR.
unable 2 satisy yor luvR? wnt 2 find SOME1 nu? we hav d best supplies on d mrkt. 1000 tImz BetA thN viagra.
U wont b :-e!
4.
To: Gibbs, L.J.
From: Shepard, J.
Subject: Christmas Schedule
Jethro,
I notice that, as usual, you’ve been taking a creative attitude to our vacation scheduling processes. All - and yes I do mean all - of my other team leaders submitted their requests for various holiday shifts by the start of this month. I am still waiting for yours, without much genuine hope that it will ever appear. Unless you really expect that the nation will be guarded over New Year by nothing more than Ziva and the cleaning staff, please prove me wrong. I’m sure McGee will be happy to show you how to use a spreadsheet. This does not mean he can do it for you.
On a slightly more personal note, if - as I suspect - you have nothing better to do on Christmas than swig bourbon and work on your boat, you could escort me to the annual ball. It might do you some good to dress up for a change.
Get back to me ASAP.
Jenn
5.
To: Gibbs, L.J.
From: Mallard, D.
Subject: Christmas Dinner
Dear Jethro,
My mother, bless her soul, has been inquiring rather loudly about whether “Jeremy” will be joining us for dinner at Christmas. There is, of course, a chance that she is referring to the young lad who used to deliver the milk twenty years ago in Scotland, but in the absence of his current address I am taking the liberty to invite you instead.
I realise that the previous occasions on which you have dined at the Mallard residence have been a little more surreal than is perhaps to your liking. However I do, as always, guarantee a good supply of homemade mince pies, a well carved turkey, and a nicely aged Scotch whisky (should I succeed in hiding it from my mother for the next few days). Carol singing is of course not mandatory, although Mother may attempt to persuade you otherwise.
Do let me know whether you will be free. If I may add - my mother is quite right about one thing: it just isn’t Christmas without you.
Yours forever,
Ducky
To: Mallard, D.
From: Gibbs, L.J.
Subject: re: Christmas Dinner
I’d love to, Duck. See you there.
TITLE: Four Emails Gibbs Still Hasn't Read (And One He Has)
AUTHOR: lonelywalker
PAIRING: Gibbs/Ducky (more friendship than slash)
GENRE: Gen.
SPOILERS: General hints at S4 plotlines. Mention made of the events of Hiatus.
SUMMARY: A glimpse into Gibbs' overflowing email inbox, just prior to Christmas.
DISCLAIMER: The characters are, sadly, not mine. I am, equally sadly, not making any money out of them.
Four Emails Gibbs Still Hasn’t Read (And One He Has)
1.
To: Gibbs, L.J.
From: David, Z.
Subject: Vacation Time
Gibbs,
Agent Lee has just informed me that I am the only field agent who has signed up to be on duty during your religious holiday season. I attempted to remind her that I am not an NCIS agent, or even an American citizen. It is very kind that everyone believes that I am now “one of the team” but I do not think that it is correct in any way for an agent of the Mossad to be the only person in the office in case of emergency. Agent DiNozzo has already repeatedly told me that if there is a terrorist attack anywhere in the country over this time, he will tell Director Shepard that it is, and I quote from his email, “all your fault”.
Therefore, I am requesting that you also sign up for the holiday shifts. My observation of your previous vacation time has been that it has not been taken, so it is obvious that you have no family obligations. Abby has told me that Christmas mainly involves the consumption of poultry and the erection of a tree. Since I have seen no evidence that you have an erection, it would be better that you spend your time at the office. I have many strategic plans about which I wish to get your input. I also have no idea why Agent DiNozzo believes that this email is so amusing.
Please amend your schedule and alarm me of its new status.
Officer Z. David
2.
To: Gibbs, L.J.
From: DiNozzo, A.
Subject: [no subject]
Boss,
I don’t know if you ever check this. Probably not. I guess if you see the email’s from me you won’t open it anyway. But here’s the thing. Ever since you retired I’ve been… Well, there’s stuff you don’t know about, boss. I mean, I guess you probably know you don’t know. You’re Gibbs. You always know. Maybe you even know, if you know what I mean. But just in case you don’t…
There’s this girl, Boss. I know what you’ll say. There’s always a girl. Right. But this is about more than that. And I really think I need to talk to you about it before… Well, before anything happens. Maybe you’ll just laugh and say I’m an idiot, but I think that might make me feel better too. I mean how desperate am I to be asking dating advice from you?
Uh. I didn’t mean it like that, Boss. Anyway, I think I’ll just come by sometime at Christmas and talk it over with you. I know you don’t exactly have anywhere else to be. I’ll bring the beer and maybe we can figure some things out.
Tony
3.
To: Gibbs, L.J.
From: Phineas Huckleberry
Subject: enhanz ur performanz!
fEln lonely DIS xbo? U R 1 LckE mang! sgn ^ nw & we cn provide U w a lifetime of plSUR.
unable 2 satisy yor luvR? wnt 2 find SOME1 nu? we hav d best supplies on d mrkt. 1000 tImz BetA thN viagra.
U wont b :-e!
4.
To: Gibbs, L.J.
From: Shepard, J.
Subject: Christmas Schedule
Jethro,
I notice that, as usual, you’ve been taking a creative attitude to our vacation scheduling processes. All - and yes I do mean all - of my other team leaders submitted their requests for various holiday shifts by the start of this month. I am still waiting for yours, without much genuine hope that it will ever appear. Unless you really expect that the nation will be guarded over New Year by nothing more than Ziva and the cleaning staff, please prove me wrong. I’m sure McGee will be happy to show you how to use a spreadsheet. This does not mean he can do it for you.
On a slightly more personal note, if - as I suspect - you have nothing better to do on Christmas than swig bourbon and work on your boat, you could escort me to the annual ball. It might do you some good to dress up for a change.
Get back to me ASAP.
Jenn
5.
To: Gibbs, L.J.
From: Mallard, D.
Subject: Christmas Dinner
Dear Jethro,
My mother, bless her soul, has been inquiring rather loudly about whether “Jeremy” will be joining us for dinner at Christmas. There is, of course, a chance that she is referring to the young lad who used to deliver the milk twenty years ago in Scotland, but in the absence of his current address I am taking the liberty to invite you instead.
I realise that the previous occasions on which you have dined at the Mallard residence have been a little more surreal than is perhaps to your liking. However I do, as always, guarantee a good supply of homemade mince pies, a well carved turkey, and a nicely aged Scotch whisky (should I succeed in hiding it from my mother for the next few days). Carol singing is of course not mandatory, although Mother may attempt to persuade you otherwise.
Do let me know whether you will be free. If I may add - my mother is quite right about one thing: it just isn’t Christmas without you.
Yours forever,
Ducky
To: Mallard, D.
From: Gibbs, L.J.
Subject: re: Christmas Dinner
I’d love to, Duck. See you there.