Five Letters of Resignation Tony Wrote But Never Sent, by Nix
TITLE: Five Letters of Resignation Tony Wrote But Never Sent
AUTHOR: Nix (keparker AT shaw DOT ca)
CATEGORY: Slash
FANDOMS: NCIS
PAIRING: Gibbs/DiNozzo (implied)
RATING: G
WARNINGS: None
SPOILERS: None
SUMMARY: The title says it all.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Not making money.
NOTE: Not betaed. Also, I've never written a Five Things style of fic before, so I have no idea if this worked or not. It's also remarkably hard to imply the progression of a relationship through such formal documents! But once the idea hit, I had to at least try.
Dear Director Morrow,
Please accept this letter as formal notification of my resignation from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, effective immediately.
I appreciate the opportunity that was extended to me by my recruitment to NCIS and I regret that the conditions which lead me to conclude that I cannot complete my probationary period and become a full field agent.
Although my time with NCIS has only increased my appreciation of the importance of the work we do, I find Special Agent Gibbs's leadership style to be borderline abusive. He exhibits no respect for the abilities of his subordinates, regardless of the fact that he recruited each of us personally. I understand that Special Agent Gibbs has an unmatched record with NCIS and has trained exemplary agents in the past, but I cannot see how the regular physical assaults he delivers and the blind faith in his abilities he expects from his subordinates can substitute for true mentorship. There comes a point at which my respect for myself must override my respect for Special Agent Gibbs's ability as an investigator.
Sincerely,
Anthony DiNozzo
***
Dear Director Morrow,
Please accept this letter as my resignation from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, effective four weeks from today.
I have truly enjoyed my time serving in this agency. Although the initial transition period was difficult, I am glad that I stuck it out. I believe that my experience in NCIS has greatly improved my quality as a field agent and investigator--even if at times it seemed I was being punished rather than trained. The lessons I have learned here are invaluable.
Unfortunately, with those lessons has come the realization that I am not actually NCIS field agent material. I am aware that Special Agent Gibbs sets his standards unusually high in an attempt to drive his people to their absolute best and I do not expect to actually meet the standards he sets. However, I consistently fall so far short of the bar he has raised that it isn't possible that my performance is even acceptable.
I am confident that I am a skilled investigator, but NCIS agents must be a step beyond simply skilled. Special Agent Gibbs demands and deserves a level of performance that I have been forced to accept that I can't deliver.
Rather than continue to struggle and disappoint my partners, I have chosen to resign in order to make space for an agent with more potential than I have found in myself. I hope I have done well enough that you feel comfortable recommending me to whatever position I pursue next, but I accept that this might not be possible.
With regrets,
Anthony DiNozzo
***
Dear Director Morrow,
Please accept this letter as my official resignation from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, effective two weeks from today.
I would like you to know that being a part of NCIS has been one of the most positive and valuable experiences of my life. I have learned more about how to perform effectively as a field agent and investigator in my three years with NCIS than in all my previous law enforcement experience. I have had the opportunity to work with some extraordinary people--though I would prefer it if you didn't mention that comment to them.
The last thing I want to do at this point is to resign, but I feel that there is no other choice I can make that wouldn't compromise me as an agent. I have been forced to accept recently that I have developed unprofessional feelings for one of my co-workers. Since this realization I have struggled to separate my personal emotions from my professional life. So far I have been successful enough not to compromise our investigations, but frankly I can't help but believe that this is a losing battle. My feelings are growing stronger instead of fading and I'm increasingly aware that it is only a matter of time before my personal feelings come into conflict with my professional duties.
I can't allow this to happen. Not only are U.S. soldiers and citizens depending on my clear-headedness, so are my partners themselves. I can't afford to be distracted by desire, longing, or futile hope.
Thank you for your understanding and your discretion.
Sincerely,
Anthony DiNozzo
***
Director Shepard,
Please accept this letter as my resignation from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, effective two weeks from this date.
I regret that I was unable to accept your offer of a position with NCIS in Rota, Spain. I do believe that I was needed here in D.C. to help ease Gibbs's transition back onto active duty and to provide a safeguard in case his memory loss caused problems. The timing of the availability of the Rota position was truly unfortunate. If such an offer were made to me now, I would have no hesitation in accepting.
Gibbs is beyond fully recovered, McGee is off probationary status, and while Ziva has gained enough experience in an investigative role to make her a formidable agent. Gibbs doesn't need me on his team anymore.
Under these circumstances, I can't think of a compelling reason to turn down the offer the FBI has made to me. I got enough of a taste of leading my own team while Gibbs was in Mexico to be excited about the opportunity to hold that position on a permanent basis. Any doubts I may have had about my readiness for the role of head of a team have been resolved by the growing frustration I have felt recently about my inability to contribute as fully as I know I can to our recent investigations.
I will badly miss my colleagues here at NCIS, but it doesn't make sense to allow affection for my co-workers to stall my career. Those who have become friends will keep in touch after I have left.
If a suitable NCIS position arises before I clear out my desk, I hope you will consider me for it. I would be very pleased to remain with the agency, if possible.
Sincerely,
Anthony DiNozzo
***
Director Shepard,
Please accept this letter as my resignation from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, effective immediately.
I am proud to have served with NCIS and I hope you consider me a credit to the agency. I wish I could remain, but Gibbs always taught us that dating and co-workers don't mix. Given that I have just begun seeing another member of NCIS, something has to give. I'm afraid that my desire to pursue this relationship is greater than my desire to remain with NCIS, especially given that my tenure with NCIS has made me an investigator that other agencies have occasionally expressed an interest in recruiting.
Forgive me for the abrupt nature of my resignation. Although I have wished for a relationship with this co-worker for a long time now, I never expected the desire to be mutual. It was only when the FBI made me an offer that I wasn't planning on refusing that we finally spoke to each other about how we felt. It's a little ironic that very nearly leaving NCIS resulted in circumstances that require me to leave NCIS.
I hope that you will have enough respect for my personal life to resist investigating who I have begun a relationship with, especially given that they will be remaining with NCIS. We prefer to keep our private life private.
Sincerely,
Anthony DiNozzo
--End--
AUTHOR: Nix (keparker AT shaw DOT ca)
CATEGORY: Slash
FANDOMS: NCIS
PAIRING: Gibbs/DiNozzo (implied)
RATING: G
WARNINGS: None
SPOILERS: None
SUMMARY: The title says it all.
DISCLAIMER: Not mine. Not making money.
NOTE: Not betaed. Also, I've never written a Five Things style of fic before, so I have no idea if this worked or not. It's also remarkably hard to imply the progression of a relationship through such formal documents! But once the idea hit, I had to at least try.
Dear Director Morrow,
Please accept this letter as formal notification of my resignation from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, effective immediately.
I appreciate the opportunity that was extended to me by my recruitment to NCIS and I regret that the conditions which lead me to conclude that I cannot complete my probationary period and become a full field agent.
Although my time with NCIS has only increased my appreciation of the importance of the work we do, I find Special Agent Gibbs's leadership style to be borderline abusive. He exhibits no respect for the abilities of his subordinates, regardless of the fact that he recruited each of us personally. I understand that Special Agent Gibbs has an unmatched record with NCIS and has trained exemplary agents in the past, but I cannot see how the regular physical assaults he delivers and the blind faith in his abilities he expects from his subordinates can substitute for true mentorship. There comes a point at which my respect for myself must override my respect for Special Agent Gibbs's ability as an investigator.
Sincerely,
Anthony DiNozzo
***
Dear Director Morrow,
Please accept this letter as my resignation from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, effective four weeks from today.
I have truly enjoyed my time serving in this agency. Although the initial transition period was difficult, I am glad that I stuck it out. I believe that my experience in NCIS has greatly improved my quality as a field agent and investigator--even if at times it seemed I was being punished rather than trained. The lessons I have learned here are invaluable.
Unfortunately, with those lessons has come the realization that I am not actually NCIS field agent material. I am aware that Special Agent Gibbs sets his standards unusually high in an attempt to drive his people to their absolute best and I do not expect to actually meet the standards he sets. However, I consistently fall so far short of the bar he has raised that it isn't possible that my performance is even acceptable.
I am confident that I am a skilled investigator, but NCIS agents must be a step beyond simply skilled. Special Agent Gibbs demands and deserves a level of performance that I have been forced to accept that I can't deliver.
Rather than continue to struggle and disappoint my partners, I have chosen to resign in order to make space for an agent with more potential than I have found in myself. I hope I have done well enough that you feel comfortable recommending me to whatever position I pursue next, but I accept that this might not be possible.
With regrets,
Anthony DiNozzo
***
Dear Director Morrow,
Please accept this letter as my official resignation from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, effective two weeks from today.
I would like you to know that being a part of NCIS has been one of the most positive and valuable experiences of my life. I have learned more about how to perform effectively as a field agent and investigator in my three years with NCIS than in all my previous law enforcement experience. I have had the opportunity to work with some extraordinary people--though I would prefer it if you didn't mention that comment to them.
The last thing I want to do at this point is to resign, but I feel that there is no other choice I can make that wouldn't compromise me as an agent. I have been forced to accept recently that I have developed unprofessional feelings for one of my co-workers. Since this realization I have struggled to separate my personal emotions from my professional life. So far I have been successful enough not to compromise our investigations, but frankly I can't help but believe that this is a losing battle. My feelings are growing stronger instead of fading and I'm increasingly aware that it is only a matter of time before my personal feelings come into conflict with my professional duties.
I can't allow this to happen. Not only are U.S. soldiers and citizens depending on my clear-headedness, so are my partners themselves. I can't afford to be distracted by desire, longing, or futile hope.
Thank you for your understanding and your discretion.
Sincerely,
Anthony DiNozzo
***
Director Shepard,
Please accept this letter as my resignation from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, effective two weeks from this date.
I regret that I was unable to accept your offer of a position with NCIS in Rota, Spain. I do believe that I was needed here in D.C. to help ease Gibbs's transition back onto active duty and to provide a safeguard in case his memory loss caused problems. The timing of the availability of the Rota position was truly unfortunate. If such an offer were made to me now, I would have no hesitation in accepting.
Gibbs is beyond fully recovered, McGee is off probationary status, and while Ziva has gained enough experience in an investigative role to make her a formidable agent. Gibbs doesn't need me on his team anymore.
Under these circumstances, I can't think of a compelling reason to turn down the offer the FBI has made to me. I got enough of a taste of leading my own team while Gibbs was in Mexico to be excited about the opportunity to hold that position on a permanent basis. Any doubts I may have had about my readiness for the role of head of a team have been resolved by the growing frustration I have felt recently about my inability to contribute as fully as I know I can to our recent investigations.
I will badly miss my colleagues here at NCIS, but it doesn't make sense to allow affection for my co-workers to stall my career. Those who have become friends will keep in touch after I have left.
If a suitable NCIS position arises before I clear out my desk, I hope you will consider me for it. I would be very pleased to remain with the agency, if possible.
Sincerely,
Anthony DiNozzo
***
Director Shepard,
Please accept this letter as my resignation from the Naval Criminal Investigative Service, effective immediately.
I am proud to have served with NCIS and I hope you consider me a credit to the agency. I wish I could remain, but Gibbs always taught us that dating and co-workers don't mix. Given that I have just begun seeing another member of NCIS, something has to give. I'm afraid that my desire to pursue this relationship is greater than my desire to remain with NCIS, especially given that my tenure with NCIS has made me an investigator that other agencies have occasionally expressed an interest in recruiting.
Forgive me for the abrupt nature of my resignation. Although I have wished for a relationship with this co-worker for a long time now, I never expected the desire to be mutual. It was only when the FBI made me an offer that I wasn't planning on refusing that we finally spoke to each other about how we felt. It's a little ironic that very nearly leaving NCIS resulted in circumstances that require me to leave NCIS.
I hope that you will have enough respect for my personal life to resist investigating who I have begun a relationship with, especially given that they will be remaining with NCIS. We prefer to keep our private life private.
Sincerely,
Anthony DiNozzo
--End--