Epiphany, by thedaytheystop

[thedaytheystop]

Title: Epiphany
Author: thedaytheystop
Challenge: Holiday
Characters: Tony, Jeanne, Gibbs
Category: Angst, gen-ish
Rating: R
Length: 1,862 words
Please comment! Spoilers for season five.

Summary: It’s harder to be alone during the holidays, when the Christmas present he bought for Jeanne in May is still hidden in the coat closet. Tony's defenses

Comments

[elmyraemilie]

Incredibly well-written. Your pacing is exceptional, and I like your take on Tony's motivations.

thanks!

[thedaytheystop]

Thank you!! I'm so glad you liked it! I've never written NCIS before so I was nervous.

For me everything is really Tony&Gibbs (or Tony/Gibbs, but mostly Tony&Gibbs) so while I wanted the canon truth of Jeanne/Tony to be most of the focus of the story I didn't want to shortchange Tony's feelings about Gibbs either. :)I'm glad his motivations came through!

[malnpudl]

I like this enormously. Wonderful character study, and a good look at what the depth of a loss that the show has so quickly glossed over.

Thanks!

[thedaytheystop]

Thank you!! I'm so glad you liked it. :)

Sometimes I feel like I'm the only one that misses Jeanne. :( They got my hopes up with "Family" but it hasn't really be mentioned since then, so.

thank you!!

[thedaytheystop]

:) I am so glad you liked it. I wanted to start with something a bit catching "tony's not gay!", ignore it, and then weave it back in later, so I'm really glad the structuring seemed to work. Thanks!

[ms_3m]

Interesting way to address a relationship that is there, but not really identified (as such). I like it.

I was not a big fan of the Jeanne character (I'd rather see Tony-Ziva) but I agree, something that was so big in Tony's life was well and truly cut off at the knees in the story arc. But as you intimate, Jeanne could always come back...because it's television (writers' strike not withstanding).

The only little blip in your story (for me) would be to have Kate in a wet t-shirt rather than a bikini because that picture of her was such a big deal in one of the episodes and it was an ongoing razz in the office - major canon stuff. So I think that the wet t-shirt has much stronger imagery for fans or at least it does for me.

The only other comment I have...it is for you to continue writing in the NCIS fandom. Nicely done. I look forward to your next piece.

:D

thank you!!

[thedaytheystop]

oh wow! I didn't even think of the wet t-shirt thing! I had originally had it as some variation of 'naked' but i switched to bikini for the bullet/bikini alliteration... now I am realllly tempted to go back and edit it--but no cheating, right? next time :p you are entirely, entirely correct.

thank you so much, especially for the depth of your comment! i think we're opposites--i'm not a big Ziva fan (i think i only mentioned her once in this!) but hey, tv is tv...and Tony is Tony, so I think I'd be happy anywhere it ended up. :)

Changes on the fly

[ms_3m]

It wouldn't be wrong to make a change to the wet t-shirt from the bikini. I've sent concrit before to writers and then gone back and found that they had incorporated them. Also, there is one writer in the SG fandom that is going back and making major changes to her stuff because her writing skills have muchly improved since she first started. Personally, I think they were fine to begin with. lol

You can look at it this way...stories live on via internet (unless YOU take them away...but that is questionable...). And you never know when some newbie to (or even someone ensconced in) the fandom will go back and read this particular story. So you want to make it the best it can be..... right? : )

If you makes you feel better, you could add an Editor's Note that you made some change/s based on a suggestion. You don't have to point out what you did.

Now Go! Write!

Re: Changes on the fly

[thedaytheystop]

haha, okay! I've definitely changed fics before, but it's always been things I noticed early on so I just hoped no one had read it yet. :)

Sorry about the late reply--I'm in Germany so I was asleep! :)

[kaylashay]

I think you captured Tony wonderfully and his relationship with Gibbs in an interesting light.

(Gibbs hands it to Tony during the ceremony, and his smile has a hint of sadness and a lot of pride, and maybe that makes Tony feel more complete than Jeanne alone ever did.)

That ending was my fav part of the fic. You acknowledge that Tony wouldn't be complete with just having Jeanne. He needed Gibbs approval as well.

Nicely done.

thanks!

[thedaytheystop]

Thank you so much! I'm glad the ending worked for you--it was absolutely my favorite part of the fic as well. :)